Mrs Big D's (Mis)Adventures

Last Night, I Cried

2012-02-12T20:01:00.001-08:00

Last night, I cried..

for this beautiful woman and the voice that now sings with the angels in heaven

It started with hearing "Whitney died", in my post nap dozing. And, continued with lengthy news coverage. She was an icon of my late teens/early 20's love angst. I recall shedding many a tear hearing her love songs...and wondering if if would find the love she spoke of...and, to this day continue to bring chills to me when I hear her songs.

...for the idea (planted by someone else) that had begun taking root in my head. Only, to find out, that it was not to be, at this time.

...for the small answer to a question that I've begun to ask myself. And, in hearing the answer, to remember to not lose sight of the me that I am, in spite of what those answers point to.

...and for love of a man, who in his simple words of "I support you in all your decisions", made all the rest go away...and made me cry with tears of joy!

Bitten by the Bug

2012-02-07T08:41:00.000-08:00

Ugh...I have been bitten by the stomach flu bug! After threatening to kick in for a week, it finally took hold on Sunday night. At first, I thought it was all the junk food I ate during the Superbowl, but when it persisted and did not subside, I soon realized this was more. I was up almost every hour going into Monday morning...at several points, I begged D to put me out of my misery! I have never been so sick, at least in recent memory. This morning, I woke up feeling ready to conquer the world...as I was getting ready, my fever kicked in again and felt like I was going to pass out. I should feel like that considering, I've lived on a scoop of rainbow sherbet, some broth and coke for the past 24 hours. When I decided to stay home (after being dressed), I sent a text to work. In return, I got the "you're in the doghouse and we'll be fine" response. As if I don't have enough sick leave guilt, as is...trust me, I would much rather be at work than home feeling like my insides were wrenched from my body and a semi has backed over me repeatedly! Note to self...when in a role of authority, don't treat your workers like this...sick is sick! And, next time, I'll take photos and video for proof!

2012-01-22T21:59:00.000-08:00

So, I've been tagged by my friend, Amanda, so in order to lighten things up, here goes..

THE RULES:
1. You must post the rules
2. Post 11 fun facts about yourself.
3. Answer the questions that the tagger gave to you in their post and then create 11 NEW questions to ask to those you've tagged
4. Tag 11 people and link them on your post
5. Let them know that you've tagged them

FUN FACTS ABOUT ME:
1. I love to cook, but don't like baking...as much as I try, I just can't get into it!
2. I made a spice rub for coworkers at Christmas time and they are all nagging me for refills.
3. D started me on listening to the police scanner as a novelty...it's now like my white noise.
4. I am fascinated with crime, jail, courts, etc...I often think I should have gone into the justice field for a career.
5. I have a friend who I met my first day of preschool and we still keep in touch. As adults, we would get together with our moms once a month for lunch and called it the 4 Js Lunch.
6. I don't have many friends, but count those who I have as my close friends.
7. I have a high tolerance and threshold for people...it takes so much to make me lose it.
8. I like looking at Facebook and Twitter better on my iPad or iPhone much more than on my laptop.
9. I have a bucket list...it's not too long.
10. My unrealistic career fantasy is to be a soap opera actress....probably comes from my mom's love of them when I was a child and watching Patch and Kayla's wedding when I had the chicken pox..I still watch them occasionally.
11. I went to Catholic school for 12 years and had the fear instilled in me...as a result, I never did anything bad or got into trouble

11 QUESTIONS FOR ME:
1. What's your favorite movie quote? "Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky (the quote is the best thing about that movie!)
2. Last book read and would I recommend it? I am reading "Dreams of Joy" by Lisa See. It is the sequel to Shanghai Girls. It is a heavy book, but I still love it.
3. What's the first thing you do when you wake up? Usually hit the snooze button.
4. What's the last thing you do before you go to bed? Kiss and tell D that I love him and say my prayers
5. If you could spend one day with anyone in the world, who would it be? (Person must be living.) This is a hard one since I know my dead person (JFK)...but living is a challenge...probably Anderson Cooper, since he is entertaining, smart, handsome and could challenge me in our conversations.
6. Do you prefer to talk on the phone or text? Typically, I'd rather text...I find the phone awkward.
7. What's the last nice thing you did for yourself? I bought a daily deal for the Chi Enviro Straightening Treatment and had it done...I love it and has already made me feel pretty and confident.
8.What's your go to comfort food? This will sound weird, but top ramen with cheese makes me happy...the simplest thing, but so yummy!
9. What can you not leave the house without? My sunglasses...my eyes are light sensitive since I had LASIK, so even on a hazy day, I need my sunglasses
10. What's your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving...it is such a family holiday that is rich in tradition with my mom...plus we got married that weekend.
11. What is the most important quality you look for in a friend? Someone who will be there for me through the good and bad

11 QUESTIONS FOR YOU:
1. If you could choose your career again, what would you do?
2. What website are you addicted to?
3. If you could have one celebrity's body, who would it be?
4. If you could plan your last meal, what would you have?
5. If you could banish one person (famous) from this Earth, who would you like to never hear about again?
6. What is your greatest accomplishment in life?
7. What makes you smile?
8. What makes you cry?
9. What is your favorite book?
10. What is your theme song?
11. Do you have any friends you've lost touch with and wish you hadn't?

Since everyone has probably been tagged...this is for fun...enjoy!

When Life Kicks You in the Teeth

2012-01-22T00:13:00.000-08:00

This week was strange and left me feeling like my work life had been kicking me in the teeth repeatedly. I wanted to tell the work world to fly a kite (and not in those delicate terms...much harsher words), but thanks to my good upbringing and work ethic, I didn't do it out loud (in my head, yes!). There are incidents all week that had me wondering if this was what 2012 professionally was going to do to me. Work is really beating me down...I'm extremely busy (frenetic) and learned some news on Friday that really knocked me down. I won't share specifics on what happened, but just know it really hurt. It's been something that has been mentioned and discussed for over a year, but still came as a hurtful moment. I'm now almost relieved that this has finally happened, but it doesn't make it any easier for me. I'm angry...I'm sad...I'm frustrated...I'm over it...I'm on an emotional roller coaster...I'm ready to make some changes...I'm kicking back...I'm taking control!

I have some exciting things on the horizon on the professional front that I hope to share soon. In the meantime, my blogging readers, can I ask a favor?!? A prayer, a thought or whatever you do for those in need of support...I would be most grateful! I am accepting and grateful for all the good vibes I can get now!

And, in return, I promise some lighter posts...including one about my experience with the Chi Enviro treatment (complete with better photos than my self portraits on Facebook), my favorite things, and lots of happy things!

Monday Musings

2012-01-09T22:01:00.000-08:00

Today was a Monday like I haven't had in a while...the boss came back today part time. She had hip replacement surgery in early December, so I've been on my own for the last month. She is back working half days for the next three weeks and then should be released to full time. Today also was the Nasty's first day in her new assignment. She is in the larger department, but does not work day to day with us. I woke up feeling fine, but as I drove to work...the anxiety hit again! I made it work fine, but it stressed me out. The rest of the day was good and busy, but the drive home brought some more anxiety. As I walked to the front door, I started pondering...why?!? Why one moment am I fine and the next ready to crawl out of my skin? Why are people so mean? Why do I put so much stress and pressure on myself? Well, the answer to all this...is that I have no idea...and that's okay...it's just this life I lead. Happy Monday!

2012...look out, here I come!

2012-01-01T23:40:00.000-08:00

I don't really like to use the word resolution, because to me, it seems like a design for failure. This year, I have things I'd like to try to do and achieve...I feel like my list is a combination of short term material goals and the rest are going to be a lifetime thing. Without further ado, here's my list:

Eat better...I know that when i do, I feel better. I am a sugar/junk food lover and need to reign that back in. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy healthy food and actually crave salads after not having some. However, I make excuses. This year, I'm going to make a conscious effort to monitor what goes into my body.
Bring lunch to work more. I make excuses about this also by saying that I won't know what I want for lunch tomorrow. I see how much money comes out of our accounts with eating out and know that money could go to a much better place. I am going to commit to one day out a week for lunch.
Focus on me and what I need on a daily basis. With my anxiety, I started this practice. I've done better with this, but still manage to put others before me. It's hard to be semi selfish, but in the long run, this will combat my anxiety.
Wean off totally from my anxiety meds. This will be a challenge, as I have already started to do so. I am having some symptoms of anxiety still when I drive, but am trying to overcome them. Again, this is tied in to me being selfish and patient with myself.
Stop worrying...about all of it...specifically, what people think of my and my choices. It's hard to not internalize all the criticism/feedback from others. I really notice this peaks my anxiety at the end of a work day. I try to not take it on, but it is easier said than done.
Figure out friendship situations...maybe it's part of my midlife crisis, but I am having a reevaluation of my circle of friends. I sometimes wonder if I fade into the background or stop attending events, would I be missed. It's rough to think about, but again it's a true feeling. It's hard for me to not sometimes feel like I am on the outside of a circle of friends...kind of like I am in middle school again.
Figure out the jay oh bee situation. Things are going to slightly change with the exit of one Nasty, but I don't know that it will be enough. Something happened a few weeks ago, that has me questioning my work performance and place in that dynamic. I have never been in a situation like this and am relatively sure the environment aggravates my anxiety issues (and my doctor concurs). I'm going to continue to do my best work, but make some decisions in the near distant future.
Attain the goal and get the heck out of dodge...aka our apartment. We are aggressively saving and with our continued hard work, we should be ringing 2013 in our very own home!
Strengthen my relationships...D and I are in a good place, but I want to keep this going in its positive direction.
Blog more...I think that what I have to say is not that exciting, but I like sharing it.
Take more pictures and document this life. It will make next year's holiday card making so much easier!

I have a feeling that 2012 is going to be a great year and it is my intent to make the most of it! Wishing everyone the same!

2011 Reflections

2011-12-30T19:16:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that 2011 is a little over 24-hours from being over. I, for one, am ready to kicky the vibes of 2011 out the door. Here is a recap of my year....

D started his new job in January and is loving it!
Drove myself back to work!
Made a trip to Indianapolis in late January for Leadership Academy for Alpha Chi Omega. Got there in between snowstorms, but still got to see some snow. Had fun bonding, visited the motherland (the famed Headquarters of our organization), and dug through the snow to find our Chapter brick.
Went to Arizona for the "It's a Boy's Trip" aka Spring Training with D. Had fun spending time with D, checking out different teams, eating and relaxing.
Renewed our season tickets for the Padres with a full season...probably not do a full season again.
Got to see a post game press conference for the Padres, which was really cool and so not what I expected.
Celebrated Meema's 90th birthday with a trip to Disneyland with most of the family. She had a great time and still raves about it to this day! In fact, she told Mom and I that it was the "highlight of her life". Never mind, that she was married, had 2 children, 3 grandchildren and 1 great-grandchild...the highlight of her life was a visit to Disneyland and kiss by Mickey Mouse (her beau)! God willing, we will do the same for her 95th!'
Nominated, won and accepted the award for Greek Advisor of the Year at CSUSM. It was such an honor and I am still touched when I read my nomination letter.
Went to Big Bear with the Chapter for their fall retreat...made dinner for them, bonded and shared WAY more than I should about myself. It's a great way for them to get to know me better and be more comfortable with my input and not just view me as "the scary lady in the back".
Was surprised by and Mom with a 2-month early surprise 40th birthday party! It was my first surprise party and so cool!
Got an iPad for my birthday and am in LOVE with it!
Celebrated 9 years of relationship status and 4 years of marriage with D. It's been full of ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade this for anything!
Were made an "offer we couldn't refuse" and accepted it. It will help us make the sacrifices and get us to our big goal in 2012!
Got an iPhone and am in LOVE with it!
Getting closer to being out of consumer debt...should happen in 2012!
Turned 40...and didn't freak out too much! I just don't feel like I am that age, but am excited about all that is coming in life.
Discovered Cop Radio (thanks to D) where I can listen to the police scanner. It is both fascinating and scary at the same time...makes me sad at all the DV (domestic violence) calls.
Hosted Christmas Eve, which all came together without all the fuss and stress I'd been putting into it.
Still at the jay oh bee...will make some decisions in 2012 about my status there. Even though one Nasty will be out of there, I'm not sure it is still the right environment for me as I prepare for some bigger things in life.

2011 has been quite a year, but I'm looking forward to the magic of a new year...happy New Year!

Shopping Reflections

2011-12-30T19:02:00.000-08:00

Today, I went shopping for some necessities for the holiday weekend. I did the same thing last Friday, with the intent to avoid the crazy crowds of the "Eve". In doing so, I noticed some things in my visits to Trader Joes, Vons, Costco (gas and store).

To those shopping with your children, I'm sure you think it's cute when they push the cart like they've been drinking. It's not...especially when it is busy!

To the parents with no manners (yes, I let you go ahead of me...you didn't say thank you), it's a wonder your children don't have any either.

To the woman standing in the middle of the aisle using her cell phone to call her child to find out if they need coffee right where I need to grab something, it's called a shopping list..try it some time!

To the woman in front of me at Costco gas, we've been waiting for a while to get to the pump. Why didn't you get out your cards before you pulled up to the pump?!?

To the man with the shopping cart in the meat area of Costco, I was wearing a yoga tank with a small amount of cleavage. This does not give you the right to stare longingly and follow me with your eyes until your wife returned to you. With all that staring, I'm pretty sure there was a clean up of your drool puddle in the meat section of Costco.

To those on your cell phone (with or without Starbucks) shopping, now is not the time to have a chat with your bff/husband/etc. Pay attention to the task at hand.

To Oggi's in Mission Valley, thanks for sending me home with a chopped salad without dressing and what looked like a half-eaten bread stick.

To the person driving the (insert car name here), did you not pay extra for the turn signal?!? That lever in your car is there for a reason!

Enough said :)

Day 1: 15 Day Challenge

2011-09-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

I found this on a blog that I follow and decided that it would be a good way to force myself back into blogging...you can find details at lovelovelovesar.blogspot.com

Day 1: Discuss your current relationship.

D and I have know each other for almost 17 years. We met at the beginning of spring semester 1995 in a statistics class. I was in a sorority and he was in a fraternity. At first, and he will admit it, he did not like me. He thought I was some curly haired sorority girl. This changed a week or so later. We went out with a group of friends and somehow, I drove D back home at the end of the evening. From PB to Carlsbad (45-minute drive), he talked non-stop! From that night on, we were friends. We always hung out at parties and events together. After graduation, we kept in touch. Usually, we talked about once a month and hung out doing "couple" things...dinner and a movie, dates to weddings (we had mutual friends), parties, etc. One time, we were shopping at the clerk in JCrew was hitting on him. At the register, her friend asked if we were together. When I responded that I wasn't buying anything, she asked if we were dating. We had quite a laugh over that one!

Our relationship dynamics began to change in April 2002. I got a message from D to call him as soon as possible. I could tell something was wrong and after trying to call him for several hours, finally got in touch with him and found out his mother had a stroke. D was a change of life baby (mom was 47 when she had him) and his mother was in her late 70s. From that point on, we spent a lot of time talking and spending time together. I lost my stepdad in 1993, so I know what it's like to lose a parent. She passed away that October. I went to El Centro (his hometown) to attend the services. He stayed with me at the hotel since his parent's house was so crowded and I tried to keep him level. The next day at the cemetery, I stood back out of the way. I can't explain this next part and the feeling, but something happened! I was praying and saying to his mom how I would take care of her boy. I felt something strange and it changed how I looked at him. As I drove home alone, the rational me said that it was just the emotions of the weekend.

From there, we began talking daily. He joined the ladies and I for dinner one night, which became an evening where he cried with my mom and tried to eat dinner with 2 knives! That night, we made a bet on the Chargers-Raiders game the next day. I won the bet which was dinner. On November 9, we went to dinner, but it felt different and ended with us staying up until 5:00 a.m. talking. At some point in the middle of the night in the dark, D asked if I had feelings for him. It was a tough question to answer and it was putting it all on the line. When I finally said yes, he also admitted that he had feelings for me. And, that began our dating life!

With the exception of 2 miserable weeks of not talking over a misunderstanding, we have been together ever since! Before our marriage, we had to deal with so much stress...his father's passing 10 months after his mom, cleaning out and selling the childhood home, family pressures. On December 16, 2004, he asked me to officially marry him, which I did on November 24, 2007!

Marriage is amazing...it is like being manic! The highest highs, the lowest lows and everything in between! I am so lucky to be with him...he is both my biggest critic and cheerleader...he pushes me to be more and believes in me! I think how if my life had been on the path I was, I would not have met him that Spring 1995. I was supposed to be in law school...I graduated with my BA in political science in 1994, but had a change of heart and went back to get the credits for a business degree. If I skipped this, who knows where I'd be today! All I know is that I am a lucky woman to married to D!

Lessons from a Panic Attack

2011-08-14T21:44:00.000-07:00

It's been a year (plus a week or so) since my first panic attack. I wanted to post this a week ago, but things are crazy busy at the work place and every where else. I tried to do it last week while proctoring a day of exams, but the work computer kept me from getting here. Anyway, here are my lessons from the past year...

I have an AMAZING husband! Had it not been for his love, compassion patience and chauffeur skills, I don't know what I would have done. It made things easier to know that he could take the reins in our lives while I got it all together!

My mom is still an amazing person in my life! No matter how old I get, I am still her "little girl" and she would do whatever she can to make my life less stressful! I loved having our Lourdes chicken soup lunches as she took me to therapy every other Wednesday.

I have a large support network...and need to rely on it more! I learned who my friends are and need to acknowledge and accept that love and support!

It's okay to forgive...my father, myself for past mistakes, and all the other things I carry around as penance. It's okay to forgive the hurt and anger I carry with me to this day!

It's okay to ask for help...I am not superwoman no matter how hard I try...in fact, that's one of the reasons I ended up where I did.

It's okay if I don't get it all done...there are still days when I lay on the couch as opposed to doing (insert chore).

I need to take care of me first...I've always been so giving of me...I could fix it for everyone else, but not myself...it's okay to say no!

It's good to speak up...not holding it in...

It's okay to not have a major life plan...day by day is just fine!

It's okay to stop comparing my life to others...I don't know others' circumstances.

All in all, it's okay to be me at the moment where I am and with what I have...I'm going to survive this!

Breakthrough...My New Theme Song

2011-05-30T22:09:00.000-07:00

Friday was the end to another crazy week at work. School ends in less than 2 weeks (where did the school year go) and it's the push to figure out staffing pushes for the fall and all the normal work. We also just finished a high profile recruitment that took a lot of time to get done. I've been productive and busy. As I got ready to leave (purse and keys in hand), I had a mini freak out because I had forgotten to send an email and had shut my computer down. Fortunately, the boss told me not to worry and do it first thing Tuesday morning. Got into the car, opened the sunroof, turned on good music and began the trek home. Driving home has still been an issue in that I have not done the freeway all the way. Friday, I was so entranced with the good music and great weather that the next thing I knew, I was at Friars Road on the 15. Exited there since I wanted to run an errand near that area. Drove through Friars and hopped back on the 8 at Hotel Circle. Feeling like I had gotten some confidence back at that moment...and then, a song came on. One I'd listened to many times especially since it was the theme song to one of my favorite shows. On this day, this song resonated within me. I had goosebumps and tears of joy in my eyes...I felt like I was turning over a new page...the song... Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield.

Listening to these lyrics made it all clear...I have to take each step of the anxiety. No one can fix this for me...It all makes sense and I am now at peace with this process...the rest is still Unwritten!

Get to Know Me From A to Z

2011-03-26T21:23:00.000-07:00

I saw this on a blog I follw and thought it would be a good way to get back to blogging...me in a nutshell A to Z A: Age: I am 39 and will turn the BIG 4-0 at the end of the year B: Bed Size: Queen...although D is convinced that we need a king, but I tell him he still has a habit of taking his half out of the middle when we've stayed in hotels with a king size bed! C: Chore You Dislike: All of them, but especially cleaning the bathroom. D and I have a deal that I clean the kitchen and he cleans the bathroom. D: Dogs: None at this time...want some soon! E: Essential Start to the Day: The snooze button...and a cup of hot tea at work. F: Favorite Color: Blue G: Gold or Silver: I wear both...just depends on what I'm wearing. H: Height: 5'8 I: Instrument Played: None at this time, but played (and I use that term loosely!) the flute for a short time in elementary school. My mom never lets me forget about my lapsed flute playing :) J: Jelly Bean Flavor: Black...love the licorice flavor K: Kids: None at this time...hope to change this soon! L: Lucky Number(s): 15 M: Month: November...I love Thanksgiving and our dating and wedding anniversary both fall in this month! N: Nicknames: Babe (D), Jolie Paige (or just Paige) (Aunt and Uncle); Tootles (Meema) O: Overnight Hospital Stays: One in Huatulco, Mexico after breaking my ankle; One at Scripps Green Hospital for another ankle surgery P: Pet Peeves: Rude people, lazy people...and probably more, but can't think of them right now! Q: Quote From a Movie: "Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around" from Vanilla Sky...great quote, terrible movie! R: Righty or Lefty: Righty, but always wanted to be a lefty for some reason! S: Siblings: None...I'm an only child! T: Time You Wake Up: 6:00 a.m. during the week U: Underwear: Of course! V: Vegetables You Don't Like: Green peas, green peppers W: What Makes You Run Late: Hitting the snooze button too many times...other than that, I hate being late! X: Xrays You've Had: My teeth and left ankle (many, many times) Y: Yummy Food You Make: I'm a pretty decent cook, so I would say most of it! Z: Zoo Animal Favorites: Giraffes, polar bears, and the meerkats!

Ups and Downs

2011-02-16T09:15:00.000-08:00

I'm on the cycle of ups and downs...letting the hills and valleys of life come as they will. So, my current list of ups and downs...

UP: Valentine's Day...whether single or attached, I've always had the opinion that if you can't show me how much you love me the other 364 days of the year, don't waste the extra money on one day. Or, I used to (and still might) call it an overrated Hallmark holiday. D and I had some rough ones in the beginning of our relationship, but seem to have gotten it right now! It was a holiday for me at work, so I spent the day prepping the house with candles, baking cupcakes (D's favorite), and prepping dinner. For dinner, we started with (my new Ruth's salad suggestion) a salad of wild greens, crumbled goat cheese, roasted grape tomatoes, toasted walnuts and homemade garlic and parsley vinaigrette dressing. Dinner consisted of bone in rib eyes (bought on a great sale), asparagus and red skinned mashed potatoes. We exchanged cards (D's made me tear up with his sentiment).

DOWN: The driving at times...on my way to a function on Saturday, I almost had another panic attack on the freeway. I'm trying to be patient with myself. As I've discovered through therapy, there is a gap between the rational mind ("Just get on the darn freeway") and the emotional mind ("The freeway is freaking me out") and learning to have the patience!

UP: Vacation time...D is headed to Spring Training this weekend. Normally, I would let him do his guy thing. This year, I'm tagging along. It will be a chance to relax and spend some time together.

UP & DOWN: This is a mixed one...the jay oh bee! Just before the holidays, it was dropped that they might demote my position (removing the supervisory piece). I was having no part of that because this is the reason I took this position 6 years ago...as a bridge to the gap of my goal of becoming a manager/director someday. I had been penalized by not allowing me to take that role on. Instead, I proposed that we figure out how to allow me to take the role on. Since the beginning of the year, I have been supervising two Assistants (which includes 1 Nasty). It's been an interesting ride so far. Supervising is what I think is being a mother...she didn't look at me, she didn't tell me what was happening, etc. We even had a mini cat fight in my office. Rome wasn't built in a day and it might not be built in my time here, but I'm going to give it one heck of a try!

Speaking of the jay-oh-bee, I better get back to it...another day at the salt mine beckons!

Winter Break Recap

2011-01-02T00:06:00.000-08:00

What a whirlwind of a Winter Break! Working for a school district, I am able to take advantage of time off during breaks. I typically take Thanksgiving Week and Winter Break totally off and then work some of the other breaks (Ski Week in February and Spring Break). It's nice because we get holidays for each of these, so I don''t have to use a lot of vacation time. Since I have 8 rollback days (to go along with my additional salary rollback this fiscal year), I used them for both breaks.

I started the revelry early...my birthday was on the 15th of December, which consisted of lunch with a coworker, then dinner with D, Mom and Meema. The next day after work, I mentioned to D that I had seen a car online at Lexus San Diego and could we go look at it that weekend. He suggested that we just stop by on our way home. I was against this since we had so much to do that evening (shopping for gifts for work, making potluck dishes and other stuff to be done for the next day...we were kind of last minute!), but we stopped anyway. Less than 2 hours, we drove away with a 2007 Toyota 4Runner for me! I drove it home the back way (still having issues with the freeway)...I love it and got such a great deal (will post pictures soon)! We still made it through all our errands and made it to bed around 1:00 a.m. The next day was my last day of work...the Nastys gave small gifts, but I did not give them anything. I had a tiny twang of sadness and guilt, but decided that why would I give a gift to someone who treats me like garbage all year! I passed on our work party due to my driving situation...after an almost hour+ drive home, D and I crashed until the morning (woke up at 11:30, to change into pajamas).

The next day, we ran around (I drove to the dealer via the freeway!) and did some of our Secret Santa shopping. That night, we went to Ruth's Chris for my birthday dinner. Due to family dynamics, it was a little uncomfortable.

The week before Christmas was busy...I spent a lot of time cleaning up around home and relaxing. We braved the rain one night to pick up groceries for our Christmas Eve hosting feast. Which all led up to our 3 day Christmas extravaganza!

Christmas Eve: D and I host this event...we've been doing it for close to 5 years. The family plus a new friend joined us that evening. On the menu, antipasto platter (salami, prosciutto, artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers, marinated mushrooms), mini caprese salad (using grape tomatoes and mozzarella balls), Christmas pasta (Rachael Ray's recipe) with angel hair, Italian sausages, and garlic bread. I made a brown sugar bundt cake, but no one ate dessert. I make treat bags/boxes every year for people to take home - this year's included graham cracker toffee and rolo pecan pretzel bits. We all hung out and had a nice evening! D and I concluded it by watching Christmas Eve mass from the Vatican.

Christmas Day: The morning was mellow. In the afternoon, D, our friend and I headed to our family friends', the Belmains. Our families have long standing relationships dating back to my great-grandmother at age 18. They always host a dinner. We had a nice day filled with friends, family and good food.

Day After Christmas: Uncle (now retired) Banking Mogul and family decided to host since they did not participate in the Belmain dinner. The catch...Mom did most of the cooking at their place! They have a beautiful galley kitchen in the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky, but are culinary challenged! We had a turkey dinner with the fixings. We did our Secret Santa exchange. Since our friend has no family locally, we all got him gifts from "Santa". He was genuinely surprised and touched. D got a really nice SD Padres pullover that he wanted. (I helped his Secret Santa pick it out). I got nice baking sheets and cookie cutters from mine. When we got home, we were trying to watch a movie when we hear arguing. One of our neighbors was fighting with her live-in...complete with her throwing his stuff off the stairs at him and calling him every expletive known to man! After a back and forth argument for close to 2 hours, SDPD came to see what was going on. And, much to my surprise, he is back and they look so happy..ugh, who needs that much drama in their life?!?

The week after Christmas was spent partially entertaining Aspiring NY Banker. We also did our share of stimulating the economy. D had his exit interview at his job...he starts his new one on Monday. We also started getting more organized...one of our goals in 2011!

It's been a great break...happy new year!

How Far We've Come

2010-12-10T15:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I never thought that when I had my massive panic attack while driving back in August that I would still be dealing with this. What I've learned is that one piece of straw can overflow a bucket of water. Here's where I am, four mothns later:

I started seeing a therapist. I'm not ashamed to admit that! I started seeing him every other week starting in late September. He has really changed my view on all that is and has happened to me. Through therapy, I've been able to see how my actions and past decisions and behaviors have impacted me. I've been such a helper and have a tendency to help others before I help myself. I've learned that is the behavior that starts the domino to so many other things. I have now adopted the mantra "I appreciate myself...I put myself first" Therapy and EMDR has helped me feel better...I am really starting to feel like me again and I like the changes it has brought! I have also learned that I have a serious case of distortion...what is said to me is not always what my brain processes!
I went back to see Doctor B for an unrelated issue. At that appointment, we made the decision that the initial medication was not doing what it should. So, we made the difficult choice to put me on stronger medication. The downfall is that I can't get pregnant while on the medication and need to be on it 3-6 months to normalize my system. I was initially devastated at this, but have come to realize that if I'm not okay and can't take care of myself, then how can I take care of someone else! The medication works, just makes me sleepy and get some solid sleep!
We will end this year with none (yes, none!) of the cars we started the year with...and we started with 3 cars! The first was totaled in my accident in February. The second (my car, the 4Runner) was totaled in a very freakish incident in October...in fact, the same day as my Doctor B appointment. D dropped me off at work and then called me saying he was outside my building and the car started to smoke inside and could not be driven. He called AAA and my mom to pick him up. Turns out, the ground wire for the power seat hit some other hot wire and fried our electric system! Insurance company decided to total it since it would have to be dismantled to be fixed. That check is sitting in the bank waiting for me to buy a car. Then, we made the decision that BMW (a prewedding impulse made by D) was getting pricey to maintain and own. Therefore, we traded it in for a car (Toyota FJ Cruiser) for D. While I don't love the 2 car payment concept, I'm happy to be free of the headaches that came along with the BMW!
I finally drove stress free a few weeks ago...I drove to the bank and then home from Trader Joes. I was almost in tears over how proud of myself I felt for doing that. It was the first time I drove any distance since my last massive panic attack. I'm definitely getting closer and have started thinking about my next car. I really miss my independence and being able to go where I need to without having to ask.
Chapter finished up for the semester...we had some bad times, but it was a really great semester! Some of the girls initiated at the same time I became Chapter Advisor are graduating this semester...I will miss them! I am excited for our new exec board and all that is to come. My next commitment is a trip to Indianapolis for training with two of the girls in January. We will get to tour headquarters while we are back there...so excited to see it, but not excited about the weather!

Life has been a challenge, but I've learned so much! Life is good in spite of all the challenges. I once heard that change is our opportunity to grow and without change, we would remain stagnant! I definitely have gone through changes and am growing like crazy!

Moving Ahead...One Small Step At a Time!

2010-09-27T12:44:00.000-07:00

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth...I'm just taking some quality time away from life! I am still dealing with the anxiety and panic attacks. Last week, I had an appointment with my doctor. We discussed what has been happening since our first appointment for this issue. I shared lots...I've totally cut out caffeine (so hard because I love iced tea when we are out, but have adjusted to drink Sprite or water instead) which has helped eliminate (reduce) the number of headaches I get; getting more sleep (at least 8 hours per night...usually); stepped back from solving every one's issues (this is a hard one because instinctively, my brain goes there); and let others do for me (another really difficult one). Doctor B has been my doctor for almost 12 years and we are able to talk openly. He acknowledges that I am doing all the right things, but wanted me to be aware of what would be the next step if the increased dosage and other things were not successful! The option is a more potent medication which would require a 6-12 month commitment...and would delay the baby train (can't be pregnant or trying while on this). Well, the fighter in me (and the doctor) agreed that this was not an option...so, we now move forward trying this course of action!

Out of all this, some positives have come about...I got a massage after not having one for a while and am planning on doing this monthly; went to a traumatic prayer group and have become more (back) in touch with my spirituality; started to speak my mind (rather than bottle it all up inside); regular date nights with D (focusing on spending good quality time without distractions together); seeing a therapist (someone who has no investment in me to give me strategies and perspective); and just learning patience with myself.

I slowly feel like I am going to turn this corner and come out on the other side...as so many I have spoken with, this is preparing me for something bigger and better. I'm learning to make positive lifestyle changes and choices that will make me feel better. I am also realizing that I am worth every ounce of love and caring that I receive! It's a long path, but it's my path to grow on!

Pushing Boulders Up a Hill

2010-08-27T10:05:00.001-07:00

As you can see, things are still pretty rough for me. This week, for some reason, has been especially challenging. I've had some tearful days. I'm frustrated, which is the last thing I should be feeling right now because it is detrimental to the healing process. I feel like all I am able to focus on is this anxiety issue. My body is in revolt and taking my nerves right along with it! I've decided to throw it all out there...all the "boulders" of my life...so, my list of boulders I face right now...

Work: At this moment, I am responsible for 25+ recruitments. They are all in various stages, but still work to be done on each and every one of them. We went to a new online application system in March and I am the "Program Manager" for this. My boss and I are headed to a User's Conference at the end of September which includes a day of hands on training for me. Until I really get comfortable with this process, I'm hesitant to allow others in the office access.
Work Environment: If there was a reality show/makeover show for office dynamics, my office would definitely win and be contestants/participants! I am the end of my rope anyway, but last week in our staff meeting, I spoke up about the climate. Of course, it fell on deaf ears, but it was still said and I will probably continue to do so. It's rough to be in such a toxic environment...especially when we spend more time together than with anyone else.
Living Situation: We really want to buy a house/condo/something of our own, but with D's layoff, we have had to postpone this until early next year.
Baby: I have officially been hit with baby fever! We are trying...I am so excited, but so apprehensive about it. I'm really trying to go with the flow, but I have a tendency to worry and over analyze at times.
D: I worry about his job...he loves it, but has an interesting boss. Then, he's taking one part of his CPA exam this Monday (send good vibes, please!) and worry about that overload.
Mom and Meema: I just worry about them...whenever something goes wrong around the house (this week, it was the refrigerator), I wish I could fix it!

Ugh, such a list, but maybe now that it's out, I can release it from my head! Thanks for tagging along on this roller coaster of my life!

Still Trying to Catch My Breath

2010-08-22T19:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I am sorry to say that I am still dealing with my anxiety issues. I am still taking the medication and trying to let it all flow. Unfortunately, the recovery timing is slower than I hoped. Last weekend, I started feeling like myself and didn't take my meds for two days...at the end of the 2nd day while on our way to dinner in the car on the freeway, I had mild attacks. So, back on the meds I went. Then, on Monday, I decided that I was ready to get behind the wheel and drive to work. The plan was for me to drive and D to be in the car. I figured I had driven all around my neighborhood over the weekend and I would be fine. WRONG! Not too far into the drive, I had another massive panic attack and had to pull off the freeway for D to drive the rest of the way. I didn't feel safe behind the wheel and the last thing I want to do is put others and myself at further risk!

Again, last week, D had to chauffeur me to and from work. I went to Mom's on Thursday and spent the night, so he got a little break. It's looking like this week will be more of the same. Even being a passenger in the car on the freeway causes me a lot of anxiety...yesterday, it brought me to tears at several points. D is being really patient with me...I wish I could explain how frustrated I am! I know that is probably aggravating my symptoms, but it's hard to not feel safe doing something that I have done every day for a long time. I also find that the only place I really feel comfortable is at home (or at Mom's). Large crowds start to get to me and make me anxious. I'm also feeling antisocial...we've done some small social events, but am shying away from other things. I'm trying to get my rest...hoping that this will ease the anxiety and panic attacks.

I've been amazed and blessed by the support I am receiving. I've had to be honest at work with my situation (walking in to work sobbing or tearing up in conversations necessitate this) and have so much support from people around me. My boss is trying to lighten my workload, but I still have a large amount of work happening that falls to me.

The bottom line is that I am an emotional wreck and I'm at the bottom of it. Right now, I can't see the end of the tunnel. My independence is threatened by this and that scares the heck out of me! When I start to think about all the things that are impacted, I get more scared! It's hard to see myself as dependent and weak (which is not the truth of this, but how I feel) instead of the strong courageous person I am. I really am trying to take this hiccup in my life one moment at a time...knowing that this is making me stronger!

Breathe In, Breathe Out

2010-08-10T22:32:00.000-07:00

I have many things to blog about, yet I choose to bypass those to share something personal. To set the stage, one week ago (Tuesday, August 3), I had a busy work day filled with testing, then a post-work meeting and then dinner with some of my lovely advisors to talk about the fall semester. After dinner, I was driving home on the 15 south in Escondido. I felt something weird (like a shimmy, which was probably the groove in the road...they are doing lots of construction on the 15) while driving. At that moment, I got nervous....like something bad was going to happen. By the time, I hit the Scripps Poway Parkway exit, I had to pull off the freeway...I had entered the realm of a full blown panic/anxiety attack. My hands were numb, my breathing was ragged and my heart felt like it was racing out of my chest. After about 10 minutes, I was calm enough to start driving again...but could not even make it past the next exit before I had to get off the freeway. After trying this several times, I ended up taking all the surface streets home. By the time I got home, I was a nervous wreck.

Wednesday morning, I was not happy to be making the 30 minute drive to work, but made it. After work, I had to make a Costco run for a party (more on that in another post) and was feeling confident. However, by the time I hit the Genessee off ramp, I had to get off the freeway as another attack was coming on. As soon as I walked in the door at home, I burst into tears. D was worried...and for the rest of the evening, everytime he looked at me, I burst into sobbing fits. He sent me to bed early to get some rest.

Thursday morning, I became almost paralyzed with fear about getting behind the wheel of the car. D sensed my fear and drove me to work. Mom called...D had emailed her expressing his concern about me. I decided to call my doctor to talk about what had happened...as luck would have it, he was on call and could see me in the afternoon. From the moment I walked into his office, I cried talking to the nurse and the doctor. He said that my body was just so overloaded with stress that it had pushed me into this anxiety. He recommended that I stay home on Friday to give myself a chance to rest and prescribed me some anti-anxiety medication. This worried me because my boss was out for her husband''s hip replacement surgery which leaves me in charge. But,, I followed doctor's orders and stayed home Friday.

The medication has taken some of the edge and anxiety away, but I am still not driving myself to work. D has been taking good care of me...it causes him to have a longer day driving home to Poway to Kearny Mesa (his office) back to Poway and then home. It's still rough for me, but I'm trying to take deep breaths and be good to myself. Work is so crazy...I am handling (at some stage of the cycle) close to 20 recruitments. With school starting in a few weeks, we are trying to turn and burn recruitments to get staffing set for the fall. In the process, I think I turned and burned me...I thought that I was handling all of this so well, but apparently not!

I wanted to share this, so that people can understand what is going on....I'm trying to be a little selfish right now and take care of my needs. Thank you for listening!

Paying My Respects

2010-06-07T19:31:00.000-07:00

First of all, sorry for the neglecting of the blog...life has been a little crazy. Secondly, I apologize for the heavy matter of this entry. I wanted to blog about this before I forgot what I experienced. On Thursday, May 27, Lieutenant John Finn passed away at the age of 100 years old. Lt. Finn was the oldest living Medal of Honor recipient and the last surviving recipient of the Medal of Honor for heroic actions on December 7, 1941 during the attack at Pearl Harbor. He was all of this and, he was my great uncle. His wife, Alice, was the sister of my bio-father's mother. In fact, my bio-dad was named after John Finn and had a close relationship (almost like a father as his father had passed when he was a baby) with him until his death in 1998. In fact, there are rumors that my bio-dad's ashes were scatted on John's ranch in the Campo area. (This is a whole other Jerry Springer episode...not for this post!) John Finn's daughter-in-law, Joan, is still a part of my life and is my only connection to my bio-dad's side of the family. Upon hearing of his passing, Mom and I decided that we would attend the services in support of Joan. Mom also had fond memories of John and his wife, Alice (known as Auntie Loss).

Wednesday was the visitation. It was a low key event...just an opportunity for people to see John and pay respects. Because of his many affiliations, there were visitors from the Medal of Honor Society, Pearl Harbor survivors and relatives, military personnel, friends and family. Two Navy sailors stood guard next to his casket for the evening. Below are some photos of taken that evening.

This is a flag of flowers made by one of his nieces who owns a floral shop.

John with his trademark (or so I've heard) rosy cheeks.

John and his wife Alice

More flower arrangements

We were warned, with the large number of admirers, that the funeral would be attended by anywhere from 300-1500 people. Mom and I met at 8:00, grabbed a quick breakfast and headed to the mortuary. We used the F word (family) and managed to grab good parking. For a while, we were even seated in the family section. We moved because I got so frustrated at having to explain to people I didn't know, how I was related to John. By the start of the service, the chapel was filled and was standing room only with overflow into the lobby. Uniforms representing Border Patrol, Marines, Army and Navy were mixed in with veterans, a retired member and current member of Congress, and friends paying their respects. The service was simple, yet poignant. It concluded with the Two Bell ceremony which commemorates the loss of a sailor. My favorite line said something about "our fellow soldier has gone on to serve his Supreme Commander". Such a moving sentiment!

The casket covered with the American flag at the service

Following the service, a large caravan (including us) headed east on the 8 freeway toward Golden Acorn Casino and the Campo Indian Reservation. At one overpass on the 8, a group of military stood and saluted as the hearse passed by. As a decorated and recognized man, a space was reserved for John at Arlington National Cemetery. Instead, John wished to be buried with his wife on the Indian Reservation close to his home. John and Alice had fostered several Indian youths over their life and at least one was present at the funeral. We chose to take the shuttle to the cemetery as opposed to fighting the traffic and parking. On our way, we passed John's ranch.

The service at the cemetery was a mix of military and Indian rituals. We witnessed the missing man formation flyover, a 21-gun salute, the playing of Taps, saluting by the various military groups in the audience, folding of the American flag and the Medal of Honor flag, address by a retired Congressman, Indian chanting and the drum circle.

The Indian drum circle

Standing guard at the hearse

Carrying the Medal of Honor flag, leading the procession

The Chaplain in the procession
Carrying the casket

The whole event was so moving and really inspired my patriotism. I cried at the cemetery. I was sad for so many reasons...I feel deprived that my bio-dad lacked the parental skills and deprived me of a relationship with this part of his family. I was also sad and nervous at the potential to run into my bio-dad's two surviving brothers (I didn't). For not being directly connected to John, I really mourned that day. It was a difficult day, but I am glad that I was able to pay my respects and to see such an amazingly patriotic service. Rest in peace, John Finn and thank you for your service in life and to the United States! God Bless America!

You can read the San Diego Union Tribune's account of the services here.

Misadventures in the Rain on a Saturday

2010-02-27T19:45:00.000-08:00

This afternoon around 5:15, I was on my way to meet Mom and Meema for dinner. I was also planning to spend the night there until Monday...D is in Arizona for Spring Training until Monday night. Today is the 17th anniversary of my stepdad's unexpected passing and he died on a Saturday. I know that even after all these years, Mom still has such a difficult time on his anniversary. I was going to stay there until Monday, so we could spend some quality time together, but Mother Nature and the freeway had other ideas!

As I headed north on the 163 just past Genesee, I was driving slowly in the slow lane...the next thing I know, the back of the car hit the center divide. The front end of the car was in the fast lane...I called 911 because I wasn't sure what to do. A nice San Diego Police officer stopped and let me sit in the back of his car (hopefully, a one time deal...it's scary back there with plastic seats even with the door open!) while we (he) figured out what to do. He figured that the car was driveable, so another officer conducted a traffic break for me to pull out and drive away. I took surface streets home.

I called D...he's heading home in the morning (a day early). I called Mom...she was worried about me before I even called. Apparently, there was a bad accident (with ambulances) close to her house on the freeway. She and Meema are going to come down in the morning and have breakfast with me. She wanted to drive down tonight, but I insisted she not do this...I don't want anyone else to go through this!

I walked in the door and lost it...I still have moments of crying. It's hit me what really happened and what the outcome could have been. I thank God that this accident was not worse. I wasn't hurt...just shaken up. It was not what I wanted to deal with, but at least I'm safe. So, if you're out in the rain, drive extra carefully!

Here are photos of the damage...

Lent...The Carbon Fast

2010-02-17T11:50:00.000-08:00

Ugh...I can't believe that it's been over a month since my last post. So much for expressing myself, but I have some good things to post...some of which you know, but due to logistical family drama, I'm waiting to post.

Anyhow...today is Ash Wednesday and the official start of Lent! As a "cradle Catholic" and a 12-year Catholic school attendee, I'm quite familiar with the Lent and what it entails. Unfortunately, I have strayed from being a practicing (attends church on Sunday) member, but still identify with that. I do know that someday soon I will make my way back to church because I'd like to give future babies the same faith foundation that I had as a child. Traditionally, Lent is a time of sacrifice. For some, this means giving up something (ie, Starbucks, candy, soda), but for me, it means spending extra time in reflection. I do adhere to the no meat on Ash Wednesday, the Fridays and Good Friday as a sacrifice. (Although, one year, while having sushi on a Lenten Friday, I ate Kobe beef sashimi and did not realize that it was meat...I think God will give me a pass on that one :) Some make fun of me for this practice, but it's routine and a habit from all my years growing up. It is the one thing I make sure to do every Lent.

This morning, I heard a news story that the church leaders of Britain had teamed up with Tearfund and created the Carbon Fast. For 46 days(February 17-April 3), there is something each day to lessen our carbon footprint in the world while praying and reflecting on climate change. While some may be more difficult to do, others take minimal effort. So, this year, I am adopting the Carbon Fast for Lent. The message of "What does the Lord require of you?" really makes me think about my life and its impact on the world around me.

So Long, Farewell...I Hope!

2010-01-07T11:41:00.000-08:00

The title might be a little cryptic, but I have a perfectly good explanation. This week, Tuesday to be exact, the office was asked to stay after work for a meeting. Turns out, we were all asked to stay to discuss the sub zero artic office climate. We are moving to a new location around June and with all that is projected to happen before then (layoffs, maternity leave), it's time for us to come together as a team. The basic message was that there is a lot of hurt, anger and frustration felt by all of us, but we can't keep carrying that forward. So, basically, we need to build a bridge and get over it. For so long, I've wanted us to all stop this junior high school behavior and just get along.

I know that it has been 5 long years of frustration and it's hard to just start over. It almost feels "fake" to suddenly act polite and kind and considerate when for so long it's been all about the snapping and nastiness. However, I feel like it is the only way for us to move past it all. So, on our first day (Wednesday), one of the Nastys brought a fruit tray...I think in the entire time I've been here, this has never happened. Things seem to be moving in a positive direction, but then again it's only been a day and a half. It was nice to go home last night not wanting to claw eyes out or having to vent about some stupid thing. I am hoping that it continues...I'm going to do my best to keep this climate of teamwork, cooperation and decency. So, in the spirit of all things positive, it is now time to put away the "Nastys" moniker and start over. I hope that I never have to resurrect that! Have a great day!

Happy (Belated) New Year!

2010-01-05T14:41:00.000-08:00

Happy (belated) New Year, my friends! I apologize for the delay, but some kind of nasty bug has taken root in my system since right before my birthday (3 weeks ago) and I have been fighting it with all the energy I have. I kept trying to compose posts when the sickness hit over the weekend, but I lost all sense of words and could not focus to write. Originally, I was going to write a recap of 2009. Then, I decided that dead horse had been beaten enough...I'm going to focus on 2010 instead. Here are my goals/resolutions/plans for 2010:

Focus on me and how awesome I am. Over the past year, I have been beating myself up over some past decisions rather than appreciating the difficult decision and moving forward. So, this year, no more self inflicted beatings!
Continue to grow in our marriage...with the beast that was 2009, our marriage held up pretty well under the stress. When things are rough everywhere else, D is my biggest strength and I need to keep nurturing that relationship.
Decide what to do with the jay oh bee situation. Either I focus and learn what I can from my current position (and deal with the Nastys) or I look for something else to leave. I've been unfocused in my work and that needs to change.
Keep in touch with my friends...I get busy and lazy and forget my friends. It needs to be a priority more.
Appreciate all we have and stop focusing on what we don't have.
Get into better shape...with a trip to the beach for Uncle Banking Mogul's 65th in June plus the baby carrying potential on the horizon, I would like to be in better physical shape.
Buy a condo/house...I really want us to achieve this goal...we were on track to get closer, but then 2009 happened.
Be in baby mode...all of a sudden, the baby fever has started to hit both D and I. After spending the day with our great niece, I can see what love there is for a child. Plus, I really saw what a good father D would be...it was almost like, "just add baby" and he stepped into the "get the stroller set up, etc" mode.
Stop and smell the roses of life...take time to relax and just be. I tend to have "yesitis" and sometimes over commit myself. Then, I become a raving lunatic. This year, I want to stop and calm it all down.
Clean out all the nooks and crannies of home...and keep it that way! We have a lot of stuff and could probably do without a great deal of it!

In short, with a new decade and year, it's time to focus on making life easier and better. Here's to a great 2010 for all of us...happy new year!

All I Want For Christmas

2009-12-17T09:34:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

I think this year I have been a good girl and deserve some nice things under my tree and in my life. And, usually, when people ask, I don't know what to say. This year, I do...so, here's my wish list...

New pair of black boots...since mine have become a little ragged, this would be a practical addition to my closet.
Pair of chocolate brown boots...I have a really cool sweater dress that would look even better with these.
Cute pair of flats that I can wear with jeans when I'm out.
Skinny jeans...think I want to try this trend. Or maybe, I just want the skinny part :) And maybe a new pair of boot cut jeans that don't fall off my hips!
Laptop bag that can carry other things (like a book or something)...I would like a nice one to take to South Carolina in June. Even, a cool looking laptop sleeve could work with my existing situation.
Some new work clothes...I sometimes feel like I have the same outfits in rotation and would like some new options. Oh, and while you're at it, some casual and trendy clothes would also be appreciative. Actually, maybe this should just be listed as an overhaul of my current wardrobe. I'm in a clothes funk right now!
Smashbox Halo Hydrating Perfecting Powder...yes, I know I have lots of product similar to this, but this one really is the best one for me. If need be, I will finish the others before I can get this.
A jay oh bee for D...he's been a good boy this year and deserves it! This is a big one, but I would forsake all the rest on my list for this one!

I know that Christmas has been scaled back this year, but I am really looking forward to some quality family time! Thanks in advance, Santa!

Back to Work...What Happened to My Time Off?!?

2009-11-30T10:17:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday! Today is my first day back to work in nine days...that is one of the nice benefits of working for a school district. We have the option of working some of the days during breaks, but it's become my plan to take off Thanksgiving and Winter breaks and work the others. It was definitely a nice break and needed. We were so busy...

The first weekend of break was kind of a lazy time for me...a little grocery shopping and a haircut....other than this, it was a lot of bonding time with the couch!
Monday: Slept in a little before heading north to Mom's. We had promised we would help get some shopping done and pre-TG prep done. After a nice lunch, we hit some grocery stores and headed back to Mom's. I helped Mom get some of her dishes done and ready for Thursday.
Tuesday...our 2nd Anniversary: We had breakfast at Richard Walker's Pancake House, spent some time at the Glider Port, and ended with dinner (and karaoke watching) at Cafe LaMaze.
Wednesday: D had an appointment with a recruiter, so I headed to Mom's to help a little more. It was all finished and ready to go by late afternoon. D and I then went to pick up a baby shower gift and had an early dinner (at happy hour prices) at BJ's Pizzeria. This is quickly becoming one of my new favorite places to eat...so good!
Thanksgiving Day: Started out lazy before heading to Mom's. I was helping her finish prep and set the table while D helped with turkey prep. We all sat down and had a nice family dinner with a few additions. D and I hung out and didn't make it back home until after midnight!
Friday: I'm not sure if it was the turkey or what, but I was feeling really lazy! D went off to do some photography and I stayed home reading. That night, Mom and her friend from Tucson (Uncle Festus) came down and the 4 of us went to dinner. We also did some driving around town...Uncle Festus and Mom have been friends since they were 14 years old. It was a fun night!
Saturday: Originally, Uncle Festus and D were going to check out the Navy Exchange, but we got an invite to dinner at Ruth's by Uncle Banking Mogul. Dinner was in honor of Cousin Cleveland's official move back home. We all had fun as only this crazy family unit can! We even started talking about December plans...my birthday, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
Sunday: We had an open house/baby shower to attend. Hippie Girl and I have known each other for 20 years...we met in the cafeteria at Palomar College and bonded over breakfast. She is due with a baby girl on December 16 (day after my birthday) if she makes it that far!

So, now, it's almost December. I'm hoping for a good end of the year...D did not get the job in Carlsbad. However, he has one confirmed and one pending interview scheduled this week. I am holding out hope that it will all come together! In the meantime, the spirit is in the air! Have a great day!

With This Ring, I Thee Wed

2009-11-24T10:20:00.000-08:00

Happy anniversary to D and I! Two years ago, we stood up in front of 135 of our closest friends and family and made a lifetime of vows. We have experienced all the things we vowed to stand by each other...sickness and health, richer or poorer, good times and bad...and have weathered each storm that we have encountered. We have experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows, but at the end of it all, we still stand next to each other as a united couple. So, today, I'd like to wish my husband a very happy 2nd anniversary...I love you D!

Wednesday Whines!

2009-11-18T11:56:00.000-08:00

WARNING: This entry probably has a lot of "whine" in it, so you might want to settle in with some cheese and crackers! I am this close to admitting defeat and heading into a big open field for one long scream. I feel like all the cliches and more...swimming up stream against the current...with all the stuff happening in my life right now. In contrast to what others experience in life, I am fully aware that this bump in the road is nothing, but I'm having a hard time feeling like I'm going to come out in one piece when all this dust settles! So, my whines today include:

EDD...because D was honest and listed that he was taking a class (CPA Prep Class in the evenings plus a one afternoon photo class) on his claim form, they have delayed his unemployment until they can conduct a phone interview (scheduled for Saturday).
D's lack of employment is REALLY starting to get to me on so many levels. I know that he's looking and there are not a lot of positions out there, but I am ready for this to end. (The Friday interview went went - 3 hours long - and he heard that they liked him. We are just in the waiting game now.)
Nasty's pregnancy...she is milking this for all the attention it's worth and the boss is buying into it. She acts like she is the first women ever to be pregnant and that being pregnant is such a burden. It got to me today...the boss commented that she was getting bigger (her bump) and Nasty made the ugliest face. I am not the knee-jerk kind of responder, but I said "You don't look too happy about this". To which she responded, "I'm not feeling well,". It just hit a nerve for me...I think it's the lack of sensitivity that gets to me.

And, now some positive notes...

Our airfare for the June South Carolina trip for Uncle Banking Mogul's 65th birthday family vacation has been taken care of. I guess he decided he (and the Mrs.) want all of us to be there without the stress of figuring out how to pay for it. It was an undeniably generous gesture!
I've been in quite the cooking and baking mode...it helps my stress level go down slightly. This week, I made homemade vegetable beef soup and baked (which I hardly ever do) peanut butter chocolate chip muffins and homemade beer cheese bread.
Our 2nd anniversary is next week...I can't believe it's been 2 years!
Thanksgiving is also next week which means family time and celebrating the return of Cousin Cleveland back to San Diego.

Thank you for reading this...it helps me get it out of my system and hopefully release it from my head! Have a good Wednesday!

Friday, Friday!

2009-11-13T15:51:00.000-08:00

Never was there a week longer than this...ugh, for only working 2 days (including today), I am exhausted! Since, yesterday's post was kind of a recap, let's do Friday's grateful list and start this weekend off in a positive manner!

Mom was downstairs and feeling a little better last night.
Spent the night there and Mom seemed to sleep more fitfully.
Helping Meema with another run to the store...since she no longer drives, she needs to rely on me and others to get things she might need for Mom.
D having a 3 hour interview session today...I have a good feeling about this one, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much.
Having vague plans for the weekend, but nothing too concrete.

Hope everyone has a happy Friday and great weekend!

Ugh, Is it 2010 Yet?!?

2009-11-12T13:05:00.000-08:00

I have really had enough of the roller coaster known as 2009. This has been one heck of a year. I really now feel like I've been through the ringer in every aspect of my life. What a year...and a week! Since our last entry:

Lots of cooking...2 trays of baked spaghetti plus one tray of veggie alfredo primavera, plus salad, 2 loaves of garlic bread, and 2 bundt cakes to feed the girls dinner in Big Bear. At one point during the cooking or some sort of prep, I kept asking myself why I had agreed to make dinner for close to 50 girls! The answer...it's been a rough semester and I wanted to do something nice for them. The reward was all the food (and I mean all of it) wiped out and many thank yous!
Big Bear Retreat Weekend: As part of the on-campus suspension (which has since been lifted), it was required that an advisor (specifically me) attend the Chapter's semester retreat in Big Bear. So, last Friday, I packed up and drove (with a member) up for the weekend. I really had an amzing time bonding with the girls...staying up late (4:30 a.m. Friday and 2:30 a.m. Saturday), playing CatchPhrase (not Catch Charades), talking, learning more about the girls and sharing (probably more than I should) my life. There were many moments that were special to me, but the memory I will never forget is waking up from a nap on Saturday (I had a headache) hearing singing. I walked out to hear the girls practicing a song for the spring. They decided they would sing it from the beginning for me...it brought me to tears...I was so proud of my girls!
Catching up on my rest for what I thought would be a back to work Monday.
Getting a call at 6:00 a.m. Monday from Meema that Mom was in the ER and had been taken via ambulance. Spending a worrisome day between the hospital and Mom's house before getting the final diagnosis of gallstones. We took Mom home at 4:00 p.m. I stayed with them until Wednesday.
Realizing for the first time in my life what it means to be an only child in dealing with a sick parent...even though D was by my side for most of the week, I really can't rely or depend on someone else to deal with Mom...it's all me!
Being subject to frustration and irritation out of sickness (for the 2nd time this year). Apparently, the brand of crackers I bought taste differently that the normal brand. Who knew?!?
Understanding how Mom feels in taking care of Meema. It's a lot of work...which can be frustrating!
Feeling like I am emotionally drained, but still have to carry through whatever is happening.
Feeling grateful that this is a health concern that is manageable and livable.

It really has been a week with the most manic range of emotions...I'm hoping that tomorrow (Friday the 13th) is a good day for us. D has an interview and it's a promising opportunity. So, if you could keep a positive thought for this, I'd really appreciate it! Hope all is well with everyone!

Monday Time!

2009-11-02T14:29:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday! I'm still feeling a little overwhelmed with life right now, but trying to hang in and hold on. It's challenging for me to just let it all happen because I feel like it's all spun in a million different directions. So, my Monday list:

On Campus Suspension has been lifted for the Chapter...hopefully, this means they know not to go buck wild again. I am wondering if I still need to go to Big Bear this weekend with them, but since I committed to providing dinner, I should still go. Hopefully, I will not be too ragged when I get back...and we all come back alive!
Mom offering to help me get food for 45 hungry girls ready = less stressed me!
Busy weeks are the norm...last week, it was friend from Hawaii and then New York Banker flew in Saturday night. Two nights of big dinners make for one sleepy me!
Library time+new books+couch time=relaxation+happy me!
D has a second interview on Friday the 13th. This one looks really promising...it's the one his former supervisor recommended him for. All I want for our 2nd anniversary is for him to get a jay oh bee! Not much to ask for is it?!?

This is a busy week for me, but it should go really quickly...have a great week!

Tuesday...Enough Said!

2009-10-27T11:14:00.000-07:00

So, as we all know, I am trying not to be a Negative Nelly, but let me tell you...I hit the wall this past weekend! All of the stress and anxiety came flooding my body and hit me like a ton of bricks! I got the migraine of all migraines on Saturday...complete with nausea and all the other nasty side effects. It's been a while since I've had one this bad...so bad, I had to cancel our plans to attend a friend's Halloween party and that I had to spend the night at Mom's. D and I had stopped by on our way to the party, but the headache I'd been nursing turned into a migraine. I couldn't get anything down to take medicine and could not fathom a car ride home. Instead, I spent the night there. Three days later, I still have the dull headache. In all this negativity releasing from my system, I still have managed to come up with a list today...

Friday night impromptu date night with D...Balboa Park and dinner
Walking around LaJolla and checking out the Children's Pool and seals
Realizing, yet again, how much love I have in my life with my family and D
Realizing I need to find a way to really let all my stress out...or else, I could get migraines like this one more often.
Wild Animal Park visit...meeting Amara, the cheetah
Visiting with a friend from Hawaii and him bringing us chocolate covered macadamia nuts
D having another phone interview this morning that went well...with a second interview to come soon.

All in all, life is still progressing. Oh, an update to the bacteria issues on my legs...I have a referral appointment with a dermatologist on Monday to see what's happening there. They're a little smaller, but not healed. Have a great Tuesday!

Fabulous Friday!

2009-10-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday...it's fabulous, but then again every Friday is usually fabulous! This week has been a roller coaster complete with more Nasty drama, but in keeping with the positive nature, we're going to skip right over all that garbage. Now, on to the good things:

Watching D study and be so focused on his 1st CPA prep class. It's going to be a lot of work for him, but it will definitely pay off in the long run.
Thursday night dinner with Mom and Meema...D joined us as well. Plus, I got to see the boys (Oneder and Buttons).
Dinner at Sammy's Woodfired Pizza to support the Chapter's fundraising efforts
Seeing the girls at dinner and them saying hello to us...commenting later, how cute Meema is!
Having discussions about potential life changes and knowing that in the end, it's all going to be okay...somehow or some way, it will all work out and we have an amazing support system!

We have some fun things planned this weekend, so I'm looking forward to the end of the day to get this weekend started! Happy Friday and Happy Weekend!

Thoughtful Tuesday

2009-10-20T08:48:00.000-07:00

Good Morning and welcome to Tuesday! Monday went relatively smoothly...

D's interview went well. One of the people he was slated to meet with was sick, but he met with the big boss. D has some strengths and knowledge that this person and the department is lacking. They were also "old company" refugees :)
Making a simple dinner of BLOATs (bacon, lettuce, onion, avocado and tomato sandwich) and tater tots
Relaxation time together
Watching the Chargers game and cheering and yelling loudly
Talking to Mom and hearing that D is worried about me...for the record, I'm not having a pity party for 1. I just feel like I've reached my emotional capacity for dealing with the curves that keep getting thrown our way. Being a person of some faith, I know that this is not true and that I am never given more than I can handle, but right now, my stress cup runneth over!

Okay, now story time...I know I talk about the Nastys and the drama that they cause each day. Already, this morning is no exception! So, a person from another department (K) brought our office a beautifully wrapped (with fall decor and leaves from her tree at home) loaf of bread as a Happy Fall gesture. The conversation that followed:

Nice Co-Worker: K brought us some bread
Nasty: Why?
In My Head (Not Said Aloud...my filter does work sometimes): Because that's was nice people do!

Rather than saying, "Oh, that was nice," or something equally cordial or even saying nothing, the response is Why? Really, this is what I have to deal with?!?

BTW, the bread was really good! Nice and I each had a piece, while the Nastys turned it down. Oh, and I sent a thank you email to K...it's what nice people do!

Happy Tuesday!

Happy Monday!

2009-10-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday! I am in a decently good mood this morning thanks to a great weekend spent with D. It was the perfect combination of activity mixed with relaxation. With all that's happening in our lives right now, we definitely need some good quality time together! So, Monday's momentous list...

Catching up on the DVR...The Office was not so good this week, but still loving everything else. Although, Ugly Betty was a little off as well.
Saturday morning at the Little Italy Mercato. If you've never been, go! It's so much fun to walk around checking out all the great food and produce.
Saturday afternoon trip walking around Kobey's Swap Meet. I bought a pair of gently used shoe boots for $1. And, if they had been my size, I'd have bought a nice pair of Nine West peep toe heels that would have been perfect for work.
Dinner at friends' home...it was a nice relaxing evening catching up.
Sunday at the San Diego Zoo. What a perfect place to spend a Sunday! We had fun walking around and see all the great animals including the new Elephant Odyssey exhibit where we got to see an elephant getting bathed and having a pedicure! She was soaking her feet in a bath...it was amazing! Like children, we kept laughing and pointing at each other saying, "You," and responding, "Belong in the zoo, the San Diego Zoo,". This was an old advertising campaign for the zoo.
Bonus #1...Cousin Cleveland will no longer have this distinction. By Thanksgiving, he will once again be a San Diegan. After much debate and hesitation, he is moving home. He has a job and place to live...it's just a matter of wrapping up his loose ends in Cleveland. Yeah, for having the core of the family all together again!
Bonus #2...Long life changing discussions that are both necessary and therapeutic!

So, the weekend was pretty good for us! I'm still a little stressed about things, but am trying to take that giant leap of faith and know that everything will be okay. On that note, think of D today around 3:00 and send some good vibes his way...he has an interview. Happy Monday!

Thursday Tidings!

2009-10-15T09:59:00.001-07:00

Happy Thursday! Not much to say except that, so now on to my list:

Founders' Day Dinner with the Chapter and Alumnae...had fun catching up with friends and seeing the girls represent themselves in a good manner
Red carnation gift...the boys of ZBT came by dinner and gave everyone a red carnation (our Chapter flower)...it was really cute!
D and I getting ready together this morning...he was taking a class this morning and had to be up and out the door at the same time I was. I miss our morning routine.
D's interview got postponed until Monday, but he heard that he is a candidate for another job...one that would not require as long of a drive, but he's keeping all his options open.
Hitting the last 30 pages (or less) in my book....I love it, but at the same time, don't want to see it end!

Hope everyone has a happy Thursday...you can see the weekend from here!

Tired Tuesday!

2009-10-13T09:16:00.000-07:00

Ugh...I am so tired this morning! Last night's Chapter was a rough one...so rough, that I managed to lose my cool and composure multiple times. While I am passionate and love what I do working with the girls, sometimes it really pushes me to the edge of my patience. I was so worked up by the whole thing that it took me until after 1:00 to be calm enough to fall asleep. I even came home and treated myself to a big bowl of Top Ramen (I was hungry) and Bravo. Nothing like cheap noodles, Rachel Zoe and the vapid Realtors of Million Dollar Listing to take the stress level down a notch or two! Today's list is a little rough considering what a roller coaster ride last night was...

D finding dress shirts at a good price
Feeling such passion and pride for what I do with the Chapter
Knowing when to step back and apologize for behavior, but not beliefs
Looking for (and finding a day later) Flat Stanley...one of our ESS Supervisors accidentally mailed him to us
The sky between the clouds...such a pretty contrast to the black dark clouds

All in all, I still love what I do with the Chapter. Every semester has a moment where I want to give it all up and walk away. I've always said that the semester I make it through without quitting is the time for me to quit. Regardless of all the frustration, I still love working with the girls and connecting with them. So much so, that I am giving up a weekend to go to Big Bear for their Chapter retreat (mandated by the University). If I didn't care so much, it wouldn't bother me. Hope your Tuesday is a good one!

Monday Musings!

2009-10-12T09:10:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday! I took a little blogging hiatus in favor of some quality ME time! I also spent a good chunk of my time with D...it was nice and what I needed. So, now, on to my Monday list:

Catching up on the DVR...isn't it great that Pam (from The Office) calls her grandma "Meema" also! Too funny and what a great episode!
Saturday baby shower with my great friends! It's amazing how we've all evolved together. We met while planning our weddings and now are just amazing friends!
Saturday night laziness which led into Sunday laziness on the couch with D.
Somehow, pulling a new suit together for D is a very short amount of time. He has an interview this week and needed a suit for it.
Cuddles to start my week after the alarm went off, but before I had to get up.

Today is a long day for me...work, then staright to Chapter. I'm hoping that it won't be too long of a night, but I'm thinking it will still be after 10:00 when I get home. Have a good Monday!

Fantastic Friday!

2009-10-09T11:14:00.001-07:00

Woo Hoo...it's Friday! I've made it through the first week of the boss being on vacation...not totally scar free, but it makes me think I can survive next week with her gone. I've even been called into the Big Boss' office to answer a question normally reserved for my boss. Check me out! The aspiring boss in me allowed me to have a discussion without sounding like I'd just learned how to speak! So, on that note, here's my Friday list:

Thursday night dinner and conversation (with a little laundry mixed in) with Mom, Meema, Oneder and Buttons
Seeing the doctor and finding out I am neither worse nor better...we're in the wait and see mode...I have to call him back in about 7-10 days before we decide (if there is) the next course of action.
Finishing the nasty double strength antibiotics today...maybe that means a glass of wine or something this weekend!
No plans tonight except catching up on the DVR (Biggest Loser, Top Chef, The Office, The Good Wife) and spending some quality time with D
Coming home to a freshly made bed and a clean bathroom (I almost didn't recognize it!) last night
BONUS: The new season of Degrassi: The Next Generation starts tonight! Yes, I know I sometimes have the TV viewing habits of a 16-year old girl, but I love this show! It is based out of Canada and yielded the musician Drake (he played Jimmy Brooks on the show for several seasons).

Thankful Thursday!

2009-10-08T08:29:00.000-07:00

Happy Thursday everyone! I'm a little tired this morning, but ready to roll with my list:

Book (book, what book?!?) club last night
Catching up with my friends and talking about anything and everything
Moving in the direction where being a mom doesn't scare the life out of me...or until the "contraption" came out :)
The amazing food last night...especially the grilled 3 cheese sandwich!
The honesty of my friends and our bond...it means a lot to me and our times together come at just that moment when it is really needed!

Well, I hope everyone has a great Thursday!

WooHoo Wednesday!

2009-10-07T09:50:00.000-07:00

So, I'm trying to switch up my titles each day to not be redundant...so here's my Wednesday list:

Made my first small batch of soup last night...didn't realize that I had forgotten one ingredient until I was in the middle of eating it, but it was still really good! I love fall and making soups
Spending a quiet night at home without the TV on with D
D's first module materials for the CPA prep class arrived yesterday and he is so excited and ready to start. He's even started reading and looking at the material for the class which begins on October 20.
Not getting too sick yesterday and keeping my dinner last night (sorry, for the graphic reference...it's a big accomplishment after Monday night's incident)
Finding out that Meema's fever is nothing to worry about and normal with what she has going on right now (wow! aren't we a healthy family!)

Hope everyone has a great Wednesday!

Tuesday Tidings!

2009-10-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I spoke too soon...the reactions from the antibiotics did not subside, but came on much stronger last night. I couldn't even take them yesterday because I was not feeling well. Even in the darkest, sickest moments, I still have things to be grateful for:

Unexpected Yahoo chat with a friend (should have been on yesterday's list)
D has a second interview for a job next week
D being so concerned about me that he called my mom to let her know and get some input on what to do for me
Aspiring New York Banking Mogul treating us to dinners while he was in town
Surviving the first day of my boss' two week vacation without losing my patience

Today is a pretty mellow work day and I should be able to coast through. Have a great Tuesday!

Monday Moments!

2009-10-05T11:08:00.001-07:00

I will admit that Monday, especially this Monday, is a difficult day to find things in life for which I am grateful. However, with my new attitude and in a massive attempt to clear the little black cloud from over my head, there are still things to acknowledge.

Overcoming the bad nausea from the antibiotics in a short period of time this morning
The fall morning air...feels a little cooler today
Mini Nilla Wafers for breakfast...so not healthy, but so good!
No Chapter tonight...heading home to relax
Starting a new book and getting lost in it already

All in all, things aren't so bad...I'm hoping that the reactions to the antibiotics will ease up and not last all week. I am alive....that is definitely one thing to be grateful for! Happy Monday!

Sunday Thanks!

2009-10-04T20:16:00.000-07:00

First of all, before I make my Sunday list, I am okay...I'm on some heavy duty antibiotics to clear what they think I have. I go back on Friday to see if I am any better. So, on that note, my Sunday list:

Realizing that the Chargers deserve to lose games if they continue to play so horribly
Having a nice fresh fish barbecue with friends and family
Sleeping in past 6:00 a.m.
Finishing my book club book
The weather...it feels like fall is in the air...hopefully, the traditional October Santa Ana weather will not come back

Life is progressing...have a good evening!

Saturday Gratitude!

2009-10-03T19:42:00.000-07:00

So, in keeping with my attitude of gratitude, I am making my next list. It is difficult to be grateful when there is so much stress, but I'm trying to shift my focus. Today, I am grateful for:

Spending the day with D at the Tour de Fat and running errands
Getting to see a doctor instead of having to rely on an urgent care visit
Finding out what I thought was wrong really was something much more...I'm getting some treatment and will go back in a week to see how I've progressed
Sleeping past 6:00 a.m.
Our "child" (New York Aspiring Banking Mogul) getting to his fishing trip at 3:00 a.m. without having to wake us up to get there

Hope you had a nice Saturday!

Attitude of Gratitude

2009-10-02T10:26:00.001-07:00

So, for so many reasons, lately, I have been a Bitter Betty or Negative Nelly. I am the classic worrier, pity party of one and all the cliches rolled into one person lately. And, I have been quite down wallowing in this negative energy. Last weekend, I notice that Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith was having a program on PBS. I have met Dr. Beckwith several years ago and have seen him on Oprah earlier this year. He talks about power within and using your potential to grow in life. Last night, I was wired when I got home, so D and I decided to watch it. We only watched a small portion, but learned so much already. One of the things he talked about was eliminating negative thoughts and actions from your life by creating gratitude...for all that we are and have, the negative things/issues we deal with (yes, because without these, we lose the opportunity to learn and grow while things change), and for just existing.

This all brought me to the new focus of my blog...gratitude! So, I'm going to start each day blogging about my daily gratitude items...5 simple things that I am thankful and blessed to have in my life!

The sunshine and fog mixed that combined to create a nice morning drive
Having a jay oh bee that challenges me on a daily basis
Spending Thursday nights with Mom and Meema
Getting to spend quality time with my purring cats, Oneder and Buttons
It's Friday and I have some good weekend plans

That's the start of my attitude of gratitude shift...what are you grateful for today? Whatever it is, I hope you have a great weekend!

Accomplished...Learned A Lot!

2009-09-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

So, Sunday, we closed the door on the rental. It is ready to be turned over to its new occupants. It took three full weekends of sweat and tears to get it done, but it's done. Refrigerator was delivered yesterday and on the 29th, Housing Authority does their inspection for our tenants. I am so relieved that this is all done and we can get back to life at home. Over the last few weeks, I learned some lessons and things I'd like to share:

What starts as a simple project will turn into something more complex that usually involves multiple trips to home improvement stores.
Lowes and Home Depot have a deal to keep each other in business. In our case, we could get everything, but one thing at Lowes which would require a trip to Home Depot (and they are not close to each other).
Whether we make a list or not, something is always forgotten requiring an additional trip out to pick it up.
When someone says they are going to clean and get the carpets done before they move out, it usually is not true. And, they are probably trying to distract you from the crayon and pen markings on every surface...including the bathroom door!
If a project seems too taxing and big, it usually is, but it can be done!
I can paint like a pro...in three weekends, I did the majority of the heavy painting of a three bedroom house!
Any paint being used will inevitably end up on me...my feet, legs, arms, hands, face...pretty much anywhere on me!
The drive east is boring if you do it alone, but doing it with someone and an iPod with the most random mix of music creates many laughs and amateur singing contests!
The drive requires stops at two Border Patrol checkpoints. These agents have a slightly easier task that those agents in the field. Personally, I have lost a friend in the line of duty while working for the USBP and have several friends and a cousin working for them. These agents risk their lives by being in the line of duty and in the field...more and more, I have a greater respect for what they do!
We have great friends and family who support us...these trips have been augmented with dinners and visits!
Testosterone is a powerful thing! Saturday night, we had dinner with our friends who drove in from EC. We went to dinner and ended up in a place televising a MMA main event fright plus the Mayweather-Marquez boxing match. We stayed and watched them for the sheer entertainment of the whole thing.
And lastly, this whole time has shown me how lucky I am to be with D! It amazes me that he knows how to do all these manly handyman tasks. Plus, we have been able to connect, talk and spend some real quality time together. Without consistent internet, television or other distractions, it ups the time we spend talking. It's been stressful, but I'm glad that we've been there together to get it all done!

Yeah for accomplishments and lessons learned...that's what it's all about (do the hokey pokey!).

Stop the Roller Coaster...I Really Want Off!

2009-09-15T14:28:00.001-07:00

Wow...it has been a long time since I blogged. Needless to say, lots has been happening. Lately, life has been one heck of a roller coaster and I am honestly ready to hop off at the next stop. To recap:

Meema's Surgery: So, this was quite an event! Her routine robotic hysterectomy (at the age of 87, two weeks shy of 88) was a success...they found nothing to indicate cancer. The cyst was the size of a softball and we have pictures of it, but everything else looked healthy. She came through well, but it was a rough week with her in the hospital. She's now home and doing well. It's amazing to see how her major surgery only created 5 scars, approximately one inch long.
Meema's Birthday: We celebrated her 88th birthday at Ruth's. It was all of the regular players plus Cousin Cleveland and Steve (Aspiring Banking Mogul) adding to our group. We had a lot of fun that night and continued it with a carne asada barbecue the next day.
Yuma: Our tenant of 3 years gave her notice in August. She told us that she would clean and get the carpets done...WRONG! We've spent the last two weekends working on it and will spend this weekend finishing the work. We have a tenant ready to move in at the end of the month, so that took some stress off us.
My Jay Oh Bee: Work is busy...I'm still on hold for the other position...I was supposed to have an interview a week ago, but it got postponed at the last minute.
D's Jay Oh Bee: Last Thursday, D got laid off. While the timing and the layoff itself are not a good thing, this probably is the best thing for D. He really needed to get out of there and find another job. Sometimes, in life, a nudge doesn't work and people need a big push. He already has some leads, so I think it should all be fine.

Well, I have lots of other fun things to blog about...I just have not had the time to do so. Take care!

Lots on the Mind...

2009-07-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

So, I've been in recluse mode lately. There has been so much happening and troubling my little mind that time does not allow me to sit down and put these thoughts into writing. I have lots to blog about and I really have no excuse...my loving hubs got me a laptop! She is a pretty little red thing and I love it. We've talked about getting me one since I do all the sorority stuff and have run into the bad habit of taking some work home at night. I went to Berkeley a few weeks ago for a Chapter Advisor training...D offered his laptop for my trip, but I declined saying that I wouldn't need it. However, I was probably the only one there without one. After he picked me up from the airport, we went shopping to try out some laptops and I found a Dell I loved. We went home and found a better deal on the Dell Outlet and on July 3, she arrived at the door!

The biggest thing on my mind is Meema. She has been through quite the ringer over the last few weeks and it will continue and hopefully be resolved in August. While I was in Berkeley, she fell while at church. She did not really hurt herself, just some bruising, and was more embarrassed than anything else.

In the midst of all this, she has been having some "female" issues, which is a funny thing to talk about with a woman one month shy of her 88th birthday. She has been undergoing testing over the last few weeks. The tests seems to point to nothing major, but are still some concern to the doctors. After many tests, it was decided that she will be having a hysterectomy on August 17. I'm trying not to worry too much, but it's a lot to digest and begin to come to grips with the mortality of someone I love...and someone I am really not ready to think about leaving my life. Meema and I have always been close...I started spending the night with her at the young age of 10 days old. She is my other mom and has been there for my mom and I through some really rough times in our life! I'm saying extra prayers for her and would like you all to add her to your thoughts and prayers.

The jay oh bee is really busy and I need to get back to work. I promise now with my little red friend by my side...there will be much more blogging!

On a Path...

2009-06-19T10:46:00.000-07:00

My dear, poor neglected blog...I am sorry to have abandoned you lately! There is lots swirling and spinning in my head and while I've had many an idea to blog, it's just been too much and too intense to spit out onto virtual paper. A bit of my thoughts include:

The value I provide to those in my life...heavy thought, but it's that classic "Who am I? What am I doing here?" question. I know that I give so much of myself (sometimes, too much) to others, but at what value to them and at what cost to me? Over the last year, I've been trying to eliminate those friends who used more than they gave back for a REALLY long time. It's a hard emotional road for me to travel right now...
D's job is taking its toll on so many parts of our life right now. First of all, it's taken a chunk out of his confidence. One of the things I fell in love with is D's kick-butt, no care confidence, but for some reason, this job is chipping away at it. I've come to expect for one week of the month he's tied up...early into work and late nights working at home to deal with month end close. However, it's become a more regular thing as he tries to work out issues and get work done. We're making some decisions and plans so that D can get his CPA (at the company expense) and take the next step in his career into a better environment.
D and I have started to move forward with our goal of buying a home. We drove around last weekend and found one we love and is in our range. We are in the initial stages of figuring out where we are and where we need to be.
Summer is going to be so busy...July is already shaping up to be a busy month for us. July also starts our "rollback" at work. As a result of the current budget situation, we are taking a salary rollback and a 5 calendar day rollback. For us 12-monthers, this means every Friday off in July (with the exception of the 31st). So, anyone with Fridays off, let me know...maybe we can do lunch or something!
July is also my 20th (OMG) high school reunion! I've been hitting the gym and prepping for this. I'm really excited to see everyone and catch up. I was initially nervous about it, but thanks to Facebook and catching up with my friends whom I'd lost touch with, it's become something I'm looking forward to.

All in all, lots has been happening...I hope life is well for everyone else!

Conversations with the Hubs!

2009-06-04T10:09:00.000-07:00

As I've said before, D and I both work in the same area and have taken to carpooling 3-4 times a week. I love this time together because we can talk about our days at work and what the rest of our time holds. During the carpool time, we listen to something called "War of the Roses". Basically, this is an opportunity for couples to find out who the significant other would send roses to and confront cheating. It is sometimes painful to hear because the recipient is not the one it should be. However, some of these bring out some good conversations for D and I.

This week, there was a married couple on...the wife always lets her husband handle their finances. For some reason, she logged on to their account and saw that her husband had several charges for an escort service. When they called to offer him free roses, his wife was not the recipient. Once confronted, he proceeded to share that he and his "boys" go to strip clubs and hire escorts. He had no problem with this behavior.

This opened a really good discussion between D and I about boundaries of acceptable behavior. He, like I, was incensed that this man saw nothing wrong with this behavior. It then spurred an off shoot topic about sharing with what happens during guy time. It is my opinion and view that I would rather know if the boys end up at a strip club (which never happens with the exception of bachelor parties) or some other place up front from D rather that hearing it later. Otherwise, it seems like shady things are happening that need to be hidden.

The bottom line of this whole post is that these conversations are what keep us interested and talking. We've never had a problem talking, but it made me feel good that something as mindless as this radio bit could inspire such provocative conversation.

Back to Work, Already?!?

2009-05-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

Happy Tuesday! My first question is why can't 3 days of work go as fast as 3 days off?!? The weekend was good for me...it started off a little rough with a stomach bug Thursday night into Friday, but was good overall!

Friday was a relaxing night at home. D and I have both been so overwhelmed with our jobs that the only thing we wanted to do was be on the couch and relax.
Saturday morning, we got up to run some errands and have our free breakfast (thanks to a coupon) at Ikea. It turns out Ikea was having some sort of big sale on a chair and bookcase, so there was a huge line out front. The cafe was crowded, but we still were able to have breakfast for two for a whopping $4.33. Then after some more running around, we picked up Mom, Meema and Alicia and headed to Carlsbad for our Sister-in-law's 50th birthday party. We ate some good food and hung out for a while. Dropped the girls back home and then dropped D off for him to go to the Padres game. I was so excited for a me night on the couch eating things he doesn't like (tortellini alfredo) and catching up on the DVR. D came home early (around 8:15 ish) because he had done what he wanted and was cold. We spent the rest of the evening hanging out together.
Sunday morning, the stress of everything made D a bear and he blew up. This is so odd because he is so calm and mellow and doesn't usually let things get to him. I decided that rather than get involved with his drama, I'd leave him be. We went to Mom's for a barbecue and went our separate ways, which is odd for us. Mom was nervous and worried because she'd never seen us this way plus everyone else was sensing the tension. After dinner, we finally came together. I was never mad at him, but was just giving him space to clear his mind. The evening ended at our friend's home. They have an adorable 3-legged Chihuahua named Rudolph. They treat him like a baby and by night's end, he was all snuggled into me and we were good friends.
Monday morning, I woke up at normal time with a headache. I took some ibuprofen and fell back to sleep hoping it would go away. It subsided and we watched 3:10 to Yuma, which was a pretty good movie. The rest of the day was spent cleaning out things and trying to make home look better.

I'm hoping for a quieter week, but am not sure that will happen. The Boss is on vacation this week, so it's just us in the office to deal with things. After some small hiccups this morning, we're in coast mode. Hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend and have a great week!

Hanging in and Holding on!

2009-05-22T10:18:00.000-07:00

So, it's been a while since I've posted. I think about posting a lot, but it's just been so crazy and overwhelming lately. I feel like I sit down at the end of the day and all my brain power has been lost. So much so, that I've stopped watching TV in the evenings because it takes too much out of me and the chatter has been annoying. Instead, I've been on a reading bender finishing two books within a week...I read Mercy by Jodi Picoult and Something Blue by Emily Giffin. Now, I'm getting ready to start The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb. I pulled some library shenanigans to make sure that I could read it...I'd seen it in Costco a while back and put it on my "Must Read List". I've loved Wally Lamb ever since I read She's Come Undone when it was an early Oprah's Book Club selection. And now, some updates on my life:

Jay Oh Bee: It is the craziest it has ever been! We are in the full force of layoff actions and the impacts. This makes life very interesting because the normal work hasn't gone away. Boss is so great to work for and she keeps us all in the loop, which is a definite change from the last one. She has also provided me with lots of opportunities to attend trainings and work related meetings to increase my knowledge.
D is also under lots of work stress. He has a new supervisor who will be good for him, but it's going to be a while until things normalize for him. (Trust me, it's not a good thing to have both partners stressed over their jobs.) He also started physical therapy twice a week for his knee. It seems to be progressing slowly and he is noticing less swelling.
Busy Life: Every weekend in May has been really busy for us...last weekend, it was meeting up with some of my high school girlfriends for dinner, D's company picnic, and a going away party (that we couldn't find) and spending time with my mom. This weekend will be no exception to this! We have our sister-in law's 50th birthday party, Mom's barbecue on Sunday and nothing firm on Monday. I'm hoping to find some quiet here soon!

Well, I hope everyone is doing well...take care and have a great Memorial Day weekend!

Alive...Busy..>Doing Well!

2009-04-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

Hello, my poor neglected blog! I am so sorry to have neglected you, but life is coming at me from all different angles lately. It's hard to sit down and verbalize what's happening. Especially for me, because I am one of those people that internalizes everything before I express my thoughts and feelings. The little mind has been racing in so many directions lately. Some of what is happening includes:

Car trouble that cost us a lot of money...including us learning that D is not allowed to do anything sunroof related on our cars. I can laugh about all this now, but the whole thing cost me lots of tears.
Spending a nice Easter with the family and friends at brunch.
Working my behind off...the jay oh bee is very busy thanks to the horrendous budget situation in California. It's not a happy thing to be dealing with, but I'm VERY fortunate to be working with someone who keeps me involved in as much as she can.
Speaking of the jay oh bee, we did some rearranging over Spring Break, so we all are in close proximity. There are moments of attitude and bitchiness, but it's starting to subside gradually.
Mom and Meema are doing well...I still go see them once a week to spend some quality time catching up on things.
D and I have been trying to spend more quality time together. We are together a lot after work, but we usually are doing our own thing rather than talking. So, we've been turning off the television and just talking. We've also been spending time at either Spanish Landing relaxing or Mission Bay reading and relaxing. We both realized that our lives are busy and a little overwhelming and we need to connect more.
Ran into an employee at work on Monday who started asking me questions about my bio dad. It turns out she is dating a friend of my dad's. I guess they figured out I must be related because of my name. Since bio dad is deceased (and has been for almost 11 years), I didn't ask if she knew my dad because I really didn't care. It was one of those "Six Degrees of Separation" things. The weird part (or normal) is that it didn't bother me too much. Usually, matters of bio dad throw me into a small mental tailspin. I think I am definitely on the way to forgiveness and forgetting all that drama. It will always be a part of me, but I know that I'm lucky to have had another man (my stepdad) take the role of father that my bio dad could never really handle.
D went back to the orthopedist on Friday...he fell off his dirt bike in March onto his left knee (not wearing knee pads...grrr!) and has a second degree tear of his PCL. It is the ligament behind his knee cap and it's not one they do surgery on. It's more of a "wait and see" injury. He got the clear to start physical therapy within the next week or so. Except for occasional pain and swelling, he is handling it well.
Friday night, I gave into the Bunco pressure. Because there weren't enough people, we didn't play bunco. Instead, we played a game called Things. It was so much fun and I hadn't laughed like that in so long! It's definitely a must do again!
We went to our first Lake Elsinore Storm baseball game yesterday. We had so much fun on the drive and just being there. It's a cool experience and I would recommend it to anyone who likes baseball.

This week promises more busyness...last Chapter tonight, dinner with some of D's friends from EC, meeting at CSUSM, hang out with Mom and Meema and lots of work. All in all, things are going well for me...hope all is well out there in blogworld!

Spring Break Updates!

2009-04-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day of work this week...and I'm only working until 11:00! It's Spring Break and we get tomorrow off as a "holiday". It's been a good work week being casual and less formal. We did some major rearranging in the office this week...every piece of furniture in the office was moved and configurations were changed. The primary motivation for the move was my friend has been stationed (chained) at our front counter. Now, she sits in the same space as the Nastys and she will not be the only one dedicated to service at the front as it has been in the past. Next week should be very interesting...the dynamic has begun to shift and it will only change more being open for business.

This last week has been busy for us personally as well...we got our taxes back, but as usually happens, we had to spend a large (and I mean LARGE) chunk of change on the cars. One car was routine maintenance while the other was unexpected. Initially, I was really upset by this development and it's setback to our plans, but now, I've dealt with it and am ready to move on.

On the upside, Sunday was probably one of our best days in a long time. We've both been in some kind of funk lately...just one of those phases of life that happens every once in a while. Sunday started with meeting one of D's teacher from high school (so random, I know) for breakfast at our favorite, Beach Break Cafe. If you've never been, go! You will wait for a table on the weekends, but their food is so good and it is definitely worth the wait! After breakfast, we headed to Fan Fest at Petco Park. We had some things we wanted to accomplish and we got them all done! After leaving Petco Park, we had a late lunch with one of our friends at the Tilted Kilt. Because we had to pick up friends from the border after their Spring Break in Mexico, we decided to take advantage of the great weather. Instead of waiting at home, we took a blanket and laid on the grass at Spanish Landing/Harbor Island. The weather was amazing and we were treated to watching two cruise ships leave the port. It was definitely a relaxing way to spend some time. We definitely have plans to do this more...next time, we're thinking of doing a picnic. Then, we got the call that our friends had crossed the border, but instead of being in San Ysidro, they were at Otay Mesa. After trekking down, we were able to pass them off to their car and spend a quiet evening relaxing. It really was the most perfect Sunday!

I hope everyone is doing well...take care!

Time Flies...The Updates!

2009-04-01T09:42:00.001-07:00

Where does time go?!? I swear this past week has been nuts with a capital N! At work, I've been so busy and transient that today is the first day in almost 2 weeks that I am in the office all day with no off site appointments or meetings. I really need that because last week wrecked me and I was very close to having a nervous breakdown as I drove home on Friday night. Some of the highs and lows of my life include:

We're getting a refund from both the feds and the state. More for the savings towards the dream!
As you may recall, we bought tires for our cars last month. Well, on one car, they have staggered (different size in the front than the back) tires and we replaced the front only. Last Monday, D had a blow out on the back tire, so now we have to buy two tires for that one. The upside is that we had warranty and only are paying for one tire, but it's still not what I want to do right now.
Interviewed for a jay oh bee, but didn't make it to the next step. I am surprisingly okay with it...I think things here will be okay and that I have a lot to learn from my new boss. Plus, I'm loving the better working relationship with the boss and the additional responsibilities.
Got to have dinner with two of my friends and a sleeping baby...I really needed "girl" time and felt so much better afterwards.
Got to see D play softball on Thursday and hang out with him afterwards...this will have to be my fix for a while (see below).
Spent the weekend at Mom's with her and our crazy friend from Tucson. Got dinner at family favorite Ruth's that ended with a drunk fall at our doorstep by the crazy friend.
Got a Purple Heart good luck token from our crazy friend...he wanted D and I to have it to bring us good luck and fortune in our lives.
Verbalized our (D & my) plans about our future...it felt good to say it and put it out there, so people don't think that we are aimless in our lives.
Got "sick" from all the weather changes and took a "me" day on Monday to recover before it turned into so much more.
D went riding on Saturday with a friend of ours...somehow, D got cut off on his bike and fell on his left knee. With lots of swelling, we spent some time on Sunday in urgent care. Then, after a follow up with an orthopedist on Monday, we found out he has a Grade II sprain of the PCL. Fortunately, it's not a surgery injury, but it will sideline him from softball or other strenuous activity (but not that ;) for 4 to 6 weeks. I was pretty upset by this whole thing (including crying while waiting in urgent care) and didn't yell, but pulled the "Your decisions (to not wear his knee pads which would have lessened the blow) don't just impact you anymore...you have to think of me" card. The upside is that it's not a horrible injury, but it's still scary.

I feel like I've been on a crazy roller coaster the last few weeks and am ready to hop off for some nice boring down time. Next week is Spring Break at work, so it will be catch up time. I hope everyone else is doing well...

Alive and Kicking...I Think!

2009-03-23T15:25:00.000-07:00

Yes...I am still alive, barely, but still alive and kicking. This month has been crazy and I haven't had a moment to blog...or when I do, I am tired and choose bonding with my couch and DVR over blogging. I've also had so much running around in my head that I don't seem to be focused enough to blog. We've also been socially active which doesn't happen too often as much as it did this month.

We celebrated D's birthday to begin the month. Again, I took us to Seau's Legends Party. It is so much fun...a party complete for $55 per person which included food from a variety of San Diego restaurants, free gaming, dancing and other entertainment. It is attended by a variety of local and national sports celebrities. Last year, we had the fortune to meet Dermontti Dawson who played with the Pittsburgh Steelers. He is so nice and spent lots of time talking to us and hanging out. This year, we ran into him again and spent a long time with him at the blackjack table. We had quite the laugh over the girls trying to hit on him (he's married)and took pictures with us.

Before the craziness

After the craziness

The next night was actually D's birthday. We took him to dinner at the family favorite (Ruth's Chris) and had a great night. I think D actually had a good time and was touched by the family.

The next weekend was our annual All Greek reunion. Once again, I was designated driver for the evening. I am still amazed after all these years (5 to be exact) that women can get together and have a drink and be civil. Whereas, the men (fraternity boys) all act like they're back in college. It's funny to watch...especially D taking shots and being hungover the next morning! I ran into the one (former) friend that pushed me to make my resolution of losing those friends who do nothing, but bring me down. She said hello and gave me a hug and said nothing else to me the rest of the evening. I think I got the hello and hug just because I was with a group of people she wanted to say hello to. It felt fine...I guess I've made a huge step regarding that resolution!

The jay oh bee is good and I am still cautiously optimistic about the situation. New boss is so different and keeps pulling me into things that I was never involved with before. I feel good about things...I have an interview on Wednesday for her former position. I'm feeling like I'm in a potentially win-win situation...if I stay, it's good, but if I get this promotion, it's also good. She has been encouraging and shared that she doesn't want me to leave, but understands that I need to do what is best for my career. The other upside about the promotion is that it would move me closer to realizing some of my dreams.

I'm really trying to take things one step at a time rather than looking at big pictures. When I do, I can feel it throw me into a small tizzy! It's all a process...have a great day!

I'm Alive...Just Lagging

2009-03-03T14:50:00.000-08:00

I am seriously lagging in tbe blog post area...in fact, once I upload photos, I am planning on doing a "While the Cat's Away" post. For some reason, I can't seem to get myself straight right now. I'm busy, but not so much that I can't sit down for a few minutes and blog. For the most part, things are good and progressing...

Jay Oh Bee: Old boss' last day was Thursday. It was an odd day around here with a weird mood. New boss started on Monday. Since old boss left, it's been oddly friendly around these parts. I'm cautiously optimistic and happy, but still worried that I am being lulled into a false sense of security and that my body will end up in a dumpster. New boss brings a whole different energy and vibe to the office. She is positive and funny...we met this morning and had a great talk about things. She's asked me to attend a regional meeting with her next week and is getting me involved with things that I should be. I think that we will make a good team. I'm also working on the application for her old position just to see if I can make the next step in my career. We'll see what happens...

Life: Things are just busy in our lives...D was gone for a long weekend with the boys and it threw us out of whack. The next few weeks are going to be busy with events (D's birthday, All Greek reunion and so much more) that I almost feel like I need to take a day off and spend it at home to clean and organize.

Well...I hope life is good for everyone! Take care!

4 Day Weekend into 3 Day Work Week!

2009-02-17T14:14:00.000-08:00

I love 3 day weekends and this one was no exception...

Friday: After work, we decided to take care of getting tires for the SUV. Originally, this was going to be a tax refund project, but since D is driving to Arizona in it this week, it moved up the priority list. We went to Mission Valley Costco with the idea of killing time at Ikea during installation. WRONG! Poway (and Albuquerque) had our tires, so we headed north to Poway. The good thing about this Costco is that it is not usually busy. We placed our tire order and were told it would be ready around closing time (8:30) which meant almost 2 hours of time to kill. My Friday sleepy (and hungry) mindset was not digging this idea, but after some samples, time flew. We only bought one thing after wandering down every (and I mean every) aisle...D bought me a taste of Spain cookbook. We got lucky and our installation was done at 8:00. Then, D took me to Seau's for dinner...he called it our pre Valentine's dinner.
Saturday: Because we had bought tires for 2 (yes 2) cars in one week, we also had the expense of getting them aligned. So, off we went to the alignment center. After dropping both cars off, we walked to IHOP for breakfast. Apparently, everyone decided to do a Vday breakfast at IHOP...I have never seen it so crowded. After a nice breakfast together, we picked up the cars and went off on our errands for the day (haircut for D, last stop for D's supplies for Arizona, and Iowa Meat Farms). At Iowa Meats, we picked up our Vday dinner...marinated tri-tip. The rest of the evening was dinner (tri-tip, Caesar salad and garlic mashed potatoes)...we even broke out the big Mikasa balloon glasses...and spent some quality time together.
Sunday: We got up with all intentions of going for a walk, but after breakfast at Tip Top Meats in Carlsbad, it didn't happen. Instead, we drove out to 4S Ranch and shopped at World Market (so much I want there) and their amazing Ralphs for some groceries. After trekking through the county, we made it home for some more relaxation. Dinner was more from Iowa Meats (Italian herb marinated kabobs) and pasta with homemade pesto.
Monday: D had to run and meet someone to exchange stuff and I decided to stay in. I looked outside and saw the pouring rain and wanted no part in it. While he was out, I was quite the homemaker. I marinated chicken for dinner, baked some monster chocolate chip pecan cookies and made lasagna rolls for another night's dinner. It made it nice and cozy. I even got to talk to Cousin Cleveland and catch up with him. It was nice to catch up with him since I haven't talked to him for a while.

This week is kind of a mellow week at work...it's Ski Week or February recess for the schools. District office staff has Monday and Friday holidays this week...two 3-day weekends in a row for me...Sweet! Plus, since we're basically closed, it's comfy clothes (jeans) everyday. Today, new boss is here...she took us to lunch as a start to our time together. Speaking of new boss, she mentioned that she saw that I have a FB account because of the District network...this was weird for me. I guess it doesn't bother me as much since my profile is private and I don't post inappropriately. Anyways, D leaves after work for his boys Spring Training weekend in Arizona. Except for some things scheduled, I'm looking forward to some me time and maybe some house cleaning (yuck!) that really needs to be done. Have a great day!

Happy Early V Day!

2009-02-13T11:43:00.000-08:00

Because I'm not sure what the rest of today and tomorrow holds as far as time, I decided to blog a little about V Day! I was (and still am) a believer that Valentines Day is just an overrated Hallmark holiday. I've always thought that if the person I was with couldn't tell me how much they love me on the other 364 days of the year, then he shouldn't waste money on overpriced flowers and other things. I've also had some pretty bad Valentines Days...most notable, in college when I hosted a single girl Vday party. A girl I knew casually came and we all lamented about our boy issues. I talked at length about a boy that I liked and we were trying to figure out where we stood. I found out a few days later that this girl and the boy I liked had started dating (she had a 1st date with him on the 15th). I was crushed! Then, most recently, on our 1st Vday together, we had a terrible night and then fight that caused us to take a "break" for 2 weeks. It was awful!

Since then, I fell in love with an amazing man in spite of our early Vday trauma. We now make it a point to stay home, make dinner and just make it our special place for the evening. I realize that the commercialism of Vday is what you make of it. Instead, for me, it's a reminder of how lucky I am to be in love and have someone who loves me. So, to my friends, happy Valentine's Day! May every day be filled with love! And to D, the love of my life, happy Valentine's Day! I love you lots and lots!

Back to Blogging!

2009-02-11T09:12:00.000-08:00

Long time, no blogging. I've had so much happening in the last few weeks with lots of jumbled thoughts that I haven't had the drive to put it into writing. I also feel, sometimes, that my blog is about a whole lot of nothing...basically, things that no one wants to read except me. But, in keeping with the 2009 list, I'm back to blog.

I didn't get the jay oh bee and am okay with it. Except for the look of disdain from the Nastys when I was commended for my drive and knowledge, I've gotten nothing, but positive encouraging responses from everyone around me. I am a firm believer in "right place right time" philosophy and am pretty sure there is a reason that this didn't work out.
I reconnected with some friends from high school last week. We found each other on Facebook as we prepare for our 20 (yikes!) year reunion. We had so much fun catching up and even closed the restaurant. Some of us have changed and some of us are the same. It was fun to hear about our lives up to this point.
I spent last weekend at home and did a whole bunch of nothing! D and I did some errands on Friday after work, but once I got home, I never left until Monday morning for work. I didn't even get mail or take trash out. I spent a lot of time with the couch and relaxing. I think after the week I'd had, I needed the serious veg time.
I've been trying to focus on all the positives in my life, but still get sucked into the "what I don't have" complex. I understand the path idea, but sometimes it's hard for me to not be overwhelmed and depressed by things.
I had a talk with the new boss D2. I saw her at a staff development day conference last week. She asked me how things were going and I laid it out to her. I hadn't intended doing it until she got here, but she asked and I couldn't waste the chance. She was in shock at some of the things I said...she said that things would be different from her last time at the District...she was coming back in a totally different capacity. She also told me that we were going to be working very close together and I would be her right hand. While talking to her, I really tried to assess if she was just telling me what I wanted to her or was honest. I really felt like she listened to me and it made her accountable coming into this situation. At the end of the conversation, I felt such a relief that I wanted to cry. Someone actually listened to me and is going to do something. Since then, I've talked to her each workday and she is in the office today...her official start date isn't until March 2.
After the talk with D2, I am a little conflicted. I am still going to apply for her position (good starting place for me). I also feel (as of today) that staying in my current job will allow me to gain some additional knowledge and really do my job.
I talked to soon to be retired boss last week...kind of our last debrief. He apologized ("My bad") for not getting me involved in certain things. I think that a lot of our office issues are his responsibility and his lack of action created this monster.
I've been dragging myself to the gym even when I've been dog tired. It helps and makes me feel like all the excuses I make are lame. Last night, I wanted to switch it up and took a turbo kick boxing class. I felt totally uncoordinated for most of the class, but kicked butt in the workout. I've noticed my clothes being looser and my face not being as full.

I think this year has become the year of finding my inner voice and realizing that I am a pretty phenomenal person. It's also become a confidence boosting time for me...I really feel like I'm pulling myself through the negativity I've harbored for myself and making some real positive changes. Here to a continued path in 2009!

Wee...Stop this Rollercoaster!

2009-01-27T08:58:00.000-08:00

So, the last few days has been quite the roller coaster of emotion...from the highs to the lows and everything in between. I am so dog tired from this today, I'm trying to keep my head up, eyes open and from hitting my desk. I'm thinking a lunchtime power nap may be in order.

Saturday was the baby shower of two friends. Normally, I detest all things shower related, but this was one of the best times I've had. It was so much fun to talk and catch up with a group of women who are all in similar places. It's also nice to know that in this crazy life there are people who are my support and can make me laugh...thanks girls! The rest of the day was pretty mellow and included me watching "the red carpet premiere" (Lifetime's words, not mine) of Prayers for Bobby. It was good and thought provoking, but I'm not sure that it was worth me wasting 2 hours of my time.

Sunday morning was an odd one at home...I think we were both in funky moods and it took some time for that to normalize. After running some errands, we decided to go for a walk in Carlsbad. We parked on Carlsbad Village Drive, walked down to the beach and all the way to the Power Plant before heading back. We think it was close to a 3 mile walk. We stopped for a snack before making some other stops. Sunday night at home was spent prepping for Monday and relaxing.

Monday was a VERY long day that began with me leaving at 7:00 for work and return at midnight from the day. The morning started with some drama with an interview panel that was solved pretty quickly. And then, at 11:50 a.m., I had my interview. I felt better prepared for this and had done some good thinking thanks to a director emailing me some feedback and things to think about and prepare for the interview. The interview was our 3 commissioners and the Associate Superintendent. It was a little intimidating to lay out my experience, but the biggest question knocked me for a loop..."Since you work for us, you have a slight advantage and know the situation. Tell us about what needs to be addressed in your department. Please feel free to be candid and know that anything you say in here will be held in the strictest confidence." My first thoughts ranged from "do you have the rest of the day? if I say it, am I sabotaging myself?" I had thought a lot about this issue and figured that it might come up at some point, so I was prepared to answer in a professional manner without emotion. At the end of the interview, I thanked them for their time and mentioned that I hope I wasn't too candid. Their response was that this was the time to be candid. On my way back to my office, I stopped and did a debrief with the director who sent me feedback. Talking to her, I reaffirmed my true feelings about the outcome. Regardless, if it's me or someone else, things are going to change and for the best. By participating in this process, I was able to get myself noticed professionally and there are opportunities for me to grow either in a new position or in my current position.

So, as if that wasn't enough, the boss' retirement party was that afternoon. The Nastys did all the work and never included us in any of the plans. As I saw the party (and how tacky it was), I started feeling emotional. Then, during the presentation of the bell ( a district retirement tradition), our boss made a speech. He called the 4 of us up and proceeded to thank each of us individually in front of those gathered. It was overwhelming and unexpected. At the end of the party, we banded together to get everything cleaned up.

At this point, I wanted to go home and have a drink and relax, but wait, there's more to my day. Monday was the first meeting of the new semester with the new officers for the Chapter. Typically, this is the longest meeting of the semester. I made it to San Marcos just before the 6:00 exec meeting thinking I could grab something to eat there. Wrong! My choices for food was a convenience store full of prepackaged sandwiches (none of which appealed to me) and chips. I chose Munchies snack mix and a Snapple to tide me over. The new exec seems to be so on top of things already. I am hoping for a great year with no drama. After lots of meeting segments, I finally left San Marcos at 11:30 and got home at midnight. I was hungry, but the thought of late night fast food did not appeal to me (who am I?!?). Instead, I snacked on some remnants in the fridge. I think I crawled into bed around 12:30 a.m.

Somehow, I am up and at work this morning. The last few days has been quite the roller coaster of emotion and will continue for the rest of the week. I should hear something regarding a decision within the week. Back to work now...have a good day!

Tuesday Progress Report!

2009-01-20T12:41:00.000-08:00

Happy Tuesday! It was very nice to have yesterday off to accomplish a few things including going to the gym (alone), catching up with the new president, and making (at D's request) a pretty darn good cream of mushroom soup for dinner last night. In fact, I continue to roll on with my little accomplishments with some hiccups along the way. The latest updates:

Jay Oh Bee: After much trepidation and hesitation while being sick, I managed to get my application done and submitted for the boss's job. This morning, after more nervousness, I went through the first round of interviews. Honestly, I don't know that this is the right job for me, but I decided to go through the process for some more practice. Also, someone I trust here at work talked to me about this change and what it could mean for me. She also told me that no one knows I'm interested if I don't express my interest. As a coincidence (or not), she was on one of the panels and managed to make me feel good and proud of my accomplishments. I'll see what happens and have put it into a higher power's hands.
Housing Dreams: Sunday morning, D and I drove around some neighborhoods looking at houses. While we are not quite there yet, it refocused our intentions.
Gym Attendance: We made an effort and went to the gym last week and then, I went on my own yesterday. I feel like I am hitting the stride by heading to the gym. Granted, it still is not my favorite thing to do, but it is a great way to release some of this pent up energy.
D and I went on a date on Saturday...actually, it was a double date. One of D's friends from Utah is in a master's program in San Bernardino and needed a break. He and his girlfriend, Irena, came down. So, the four of us went to dinner at the Turf Supper Club and then, Extraordinary Desserts. Sunday morning, the four of us had breakfast at Pipes. It was fun and happened in spite of my pouty mood all day on Saturday.

All in all, things are good and seem to be progressing. Take care!

2009...So Far

2009-01-14T12:21:00.000-08:00

So far, 2009 has been pretty decent to me...with the exception of the bug that is living in me. I've been some kind of sick since Christmas and still am not feeling 100%. My visit to Urgent Care yielded a sinus issue diagnosis complete with horse pill antibiotics. I just about start to feel better and then it hits again. But, I'm not blogging to complain. Instead, I wanted to lay out my simple progress to achieving my 2009 goals..

Went to the gym this week and pushed myself way past my initial excuses and comfort level to work up quite a sweat...but I need to add some new stuff to my iPod this weekend to keep the motivation level up.
Have a 1st interview for the Director (my boss') job next Tuesday. Was not feeling all that confident about it when I turned in my application, but have decided to just ride out the process and see what happens.
Spent some quality time with D...nothing doing much, but just taking the time to really talk about things and what's in our heads. Sometimes, this is hard for me because I tend to hold it all in rather than sharing.
Spoke up for something I was annoyed with at work and I'm still alive :) I was so nervous, but wanted to be a positive change agent rather than let this little thing fester into something so much bigger. The boss was impressed and thanked me for the suggestion.
Watched the Oprah episode on spirituality which gave me some real thinking points and made me realize it's all connected!

Overall, 2009 has been pretty good to me so far! I do keep thinking about Michael and his philosophy of life...because of the short and precious nature of life, that was one heck of a way to live life! Hope 2009 is good for everyone!

Celebration of Life

2009-01-10T14:04:00.000-08:00

Warning...this blog has a heavy subject matter...I just returned from a celebration of life at Mission Bay for Michael. While I did not personally know Michael, his mother Susan and my Mom have been friends for close to 40 years. Mom asked me to attend to show our support for Susan during this difficult time. Michael was Susan's only child (I am an only child and am pretty sure this is hitting my mom pretty heavily for that reason).

Michael was born on December 1, 1967 and died on January 1, 2009 at the young age of 41 years old. Michael was a nurse and very active in his life...he was married and leaves behind 2 cute daughters (almost age 4 and age 2). In August 2007, after feeling like something wasn't right and 3 doctors confirmed, Michael was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease). For those of you who don't know, this is a horribly debilitating disease with a typical time lapse of 2-5 years from diagnosis to death. For Michael, it was less than 18 months.

All those who spoke of Michael shared his view on life. He lived life on his terms until the end of his life. It was even said that a neighbor took him hang gliding within the last few months of his life with his breathing machine and all. His philosophy was to Live Life to it's fullest; Live Purposefully and Live Passionately. Listening to those speak about Michael and watching his daughters, I got caught in the eternal debate about death. What is the purpose of Michael dying so young and leaving a wife and young children behind? I rationally understand the plan of life, but emotionally wrestle with this kind of loss. I guess these are the mysteries of this life. Today only made me appreciate life all that much more and those that I share my life with.

So, Michael, while I never met you personally, rest in peace. God Bless your family as they remember you and grieve. And, to all those who read this, thank you for your presence in my life and never take granted those around you!

2009...My Resolution Wish List

2009-01-07T15:50:00.000-08:00

Happy 2009! Since I've been home this week, I watched Oprah's Best Life Week. Hearing her talk about her failures and how she's getting back on track made me think about how to make 2009 my best year. I am not one to make resolutions, but I've started a list of my aspirations for this year. Here goes...

1. Finally accept that I am "all that and a bag of chips". For quite a long time in my life, I've been succeptible to the "I'm not good enough" complex. So much so, that it has impacted my past relationships and sometimes creeps into my life now. Instead, I've decided to embrace me and know that I am pretty darn great and have accomplished! I really need to hone this feeling because of two events this year, the annual Greek reunion and my 20th (yikes!) class reunion.

2. Forgive the past...as much as I say I'm over things from my past, I think I still hold onto pieces of it. I can't confront the anger and sadness face to face because the person has passed, but I can let it go. It's time to finally release this baggage!

3. Stand up for myself and stop accepting the putdowns of certain "so called" friends. For example, I have a friend who started treated me badly a few years ago after she'd been married with a child and I had lost some weight. Last year, I reached out to her after her divorce and she totally ignored it. I'm a damn good friend and am done with being the doormat.

4. Cultivate my good friendships and make those my priority.

5. Get healthy...I don't have to be rockstar bodacious, but a little less "fluffy" would work for me. I really want to be in good shape, so when it's time to take the next step into parenthood, I'm prepared physically.

6. Continue to get financially back on track. I will admit that I did live above and beyond my means for quite a while. It's not an easy path, but I am so motivated to move forward. Plus, watching HGTV has motivated us to stay focused so that we can buy something within the next year.

7. Date my husband and put the zing back into our relationship...just because we are an old married couple, it doesn't mean that we can't still date. So, we've aimed for a date once a week. I think by consciously putting this out there, we will make the quality time for each other.

8. Embrace the things I love and get better at them...starting with cooking and moving into other areas.

9. Find my way back to some sort of spirituality. I was raised Catholic and am not sure that's where I want to go right now, but am feeling like I need to renew that spiritual connection. I've also decided to keep a journal with thoughts I see and inspire me.

10. Make some kind of career move...whether it be a promotion, move to another job or stay where I am, I need to solidify my career path.

This is a good start...I'm sure the list will grow and change over the year...here's wishing you a great 2009 and hoping it's your best year ever!

Looking Back on 2008

2009-01-01T10:47:00.000-08:00

I've seen this in some blogs this morning and thought that the best way to move ahead is to look back and reflect. In 2008:

January: Commemorated Papa's (my grandfather) 30th anniversary since he passed away with Mom and Meema at a mass dedicated to him followed by breakfast; had last lunch with a friend who is no longer my friend.

February: Rocked out (for my love's sake) at an Iron Maiden concert; found out the power of words and gossip and what they can do to a friendship; sent my husband off to Spring Training in Arizona; traveled (the day of the worst storm in the east of the season) to Philadelphia with Mom and Meema to surprise my cousin who was turning 40; endured horrendous customer service, cried and used my then 86 year old Meema as proof why they needed to get us on a flight; had a great whirlwind weekend filled with family and cheesesteaks (yum).

March: Celebrated D's birthday by attending Junior Seau's Legends Party; Reunited with friends for our annual Greek party; celebrated Easter dinner family style at Ruth's; went to our sushi class at Great News and decided that for all the trouble, it is better to just go out and eat it rather than make it, but still had lots of fun.

April: Went to the EC for D's uncles funeral and found out during the viewing that Baby E was getting ready to make his debut into the world; Baby E was born; went to our first Padres game of the season with such high hopes.

May: Celebrated Mother's Day with the family; interviewed for a job and did not get it (they already knew who they wanted to hire); did a girls night and watched Sex and the City.

June: Attended our niece's baby shower; our nephew's high school graduation; 40th birthday party of a friend; sold my Jetta.

July: Went to Arizona for Convention; came home, unpacked, repacked and left the next day for our belated honeymoon trip to Seattle and Vancouver; had the most amazing time; celebrated the July family birthdays; said goodbye to a friend who moved away (still miss you).

August: Endured massive amounts of stress finding the perfect navy and khaki outfit; met Baby E for the first time and fell in love with him; took multi generation matchy matchy family photos; helped plan and execute Meema's birthday party/Baby E welcome party.

September: Had another interview for a job that they already knew who they wanted; kept busy with the day to day; attended a wedding on a cruise ship before it sailed; got pooped on by a seagull before boarding; and met our grandniece all in the same day.

October: Attended D's 20th high school reunion; Had another round of interviews (made the decision difficult, but didn't get this one either); reconnected with a former boss at brunch and realized all the BS is just that.

November: Made a difficult decision that will only make my future easier; went to a Girls only brunch; celebrated our first anniversary with D and realized once again how lucky I am to be married to such an amazing man; enjoyed our first Thanksgiving as a married couple.

December: Had a scary letter from the Blood Bank throw me into full blown migrraine state only to be reassured that all was good; had our 9th annual Ornament Exchange; attended D's holiday party; celebrated my birthday; switched it up for Christmas Eve and got the flu to end the year.

My 2008 was all that it should have been filled with highs, lows, laughter, tears and everything in between. Even though it was trying at times, I wouldn't change it for anything. Here's to a great 2009!

Catching Up...My Winter Break!

2008-12-30T21:32:00.000-08:00

So, it's been quite a while since my last post. Somehow, I managed to survive the last week of work before winter break even with non stop activities. The end of work went well...the Nastys gave us little gifts, but I had not one ounce of feeling like I needed to make a last minute run at lunch. After work, we had our holiday party. It was a fun time and I made off with a $20 Starbucks card. With all the ones I've received, I will start 2009 very caffeinated. The rest of the weekend was spent having sushi and then breakfast with a friend visiting from Hawaii and finally ordering our holiday cards.

On the Monday before Christmas, D had to go in to work for a little bit, so I won the draw to go to Costco (in the rain) two days before Christmas. After 20 minutes of trying to find parking, I was able to get what I needed and it took me longer to park than I was in the store. Then after a quick stop at the grocery store, I headed home. D and I spent some time and were able to make the mail with our cards.

Tuesday, we were both feeling lazy, but then decided that we needed to get out of the house. We hopped in the car and it led us to Viejas where we walked around and had the buffet.

Christmas Eve felt a little off this year...my birthday celebration was postponed to that night, so D and I weren't hosting the family this year. It was also off because we were in grinchy moods and did zero decorating and shopping. Due to the crazy year, the family decided to keep it low key. Instead, I spent some time baking and we gave the family units a box of baked goods that included: Graham Cracker Toffee, Devil's Food Sugar Cookies, Caramel Pretzel Bites, Sweet Salty Spicy Nut and Pretzel Mix and Chocolate Chip Walnut Snowballs. For being a non baker, they all turned out well. D also got Mom a gift certificate to join me at a knife skills class in February while he is on his boys spring training weekend.

Dinner at Ruth's was great...Justin, our regular server, friend and adopted family member, and Tyler took great care of us. The family was all well behaved and had fun...

The Crazy Family less Cousin Cleveland

Meema

Justin being a smart ass while taking his own photo

Tyler

Christmas Day was a rainy day. After a very lazy morning, D and I headed to Ramona to our family friends for dinner. Mom, Meema and Alicia met us there. After dinner, D and I went to see Marley and Me. It was cute, but the best scenes are shown in the previews.

Friday, I was really tired and achy. We ran around a little, but came home to relax again.

Saturday, again, I was tired and achy and spent most of my day on the couch while D ran around. That night, he took me out for some soup to help me feel better. By the end of the night, I felt awful complete with a sore throat...I got the flu!

So, for the last few days and during much of winter break, these have been my best friends...

Now, I feel a little better, but am still not 100%. Hope your winter break and holidays have been good...

Happy Birthday to Me!

2008-12-15T10:14:00.000-08:00

Today, December 15 is my birthday...37 (yikes!) years ago at 9:06 a.m. and after 30 hours of labor, I made my entrance (via C section) into the world at a whopping 9 pounds, 8 ounces. Mom still calls me every year at 9:06 to wish me a happy birthday! In deciding to blog about my birthday, I am taking a huge step because I am not one who likes to excess attention. I am the only December birthday at work and have to endure standing alone as the office sings to me. Plus, I was not nervous about getting married, but blushed at the thought of my guests staring at me. Instead, I am celebrating me and the day. Because of my curiosity, I looked up December 15 on Wikipedia to see anything relevant that happened on this date.

Famous Births: Adam Brody (Seth from The OC), Don Johnson (of Miami Vice fame), Tim Conway, and Gustave Eiffel (engineer and architect of the Eiffel Tower) among many others.

Famous Deaths: Walt Disney and Sitting Bull

Famous Events: The Bill of Rights was ratified into law after passing the Virginia legislature.

It's a momentous day...so, happy birthday to me! Here's to another year of more great things!

Highs and Lows...The Recap

2008-12-02T12:27:00.000-08:00

I've been a bad blogger lately...I haven't had the presence of mind to sit down and put my thoughts into writing. I must admit that I miss blogging. So, here is a recap and high/low lights of the last...

High...D and I celebrated our first anniversary! While we spent a quiet evening at home to celebrate, it was a great day! I cannot believe that it's been a year already and one full of highs and lows, but it's been so great. I am still amazed that we are married and creating this life together.

Low...D got sick and pink eye. Fortunately, I never got it and I took good care of him. He, like most men, was needy...at times, it felt like he was acting as if his eyes were falling out of his head.

High...Yummy Thanksgiving dinner prepped by Mom with some help from D and I.

Low...Family weirdness at TG dinner...not sure what to make of this, but can't let the drama get to me.

High...Cyber visit with Baby E and his parents. I can't believe how big he is getting and how much he's changed since his Labor Day visit.

High...Lots of relaxation and down time...neither of felt good, but it was still nice to hang out and be a lazy bum.

Now, it's December...where did 2008 go?!? December is a big month for me...Mom, Meema and I hold our annual holiday ornament party; D's work holiday party; my birthday; our work holiday party; getting things done before Winter Break; D and I hosting Christmas Eve; Christmas Day with family friends; and finally, New Year's Eve. I'm sure more will creep into this list, but it's an exciting time of the year. Hope everyone is well...take care!

Ch Ch Ch Changes!

2008-11-19T11:28:00.000-08:00

First of all, I apologize for being MIA lately, but I've had a lot going on. It's nothing major that has been blogworthy, just things that have made me refocus my energy and set myself back on track. It's been a difficult process so far and will continue to be for a while. But then again, I remember that anything that ends with major personal growth and thought/behavior shifting takes a lot of work and is not always easy. It's going to be fine.

Now, the real reason for this blog entry...I talk about the jay oh bee a lot on here and my stress related to this entity. Well, we (the office) found out that Boss Man is retiring. His effective date is December 30, but he is anticipating being around part time through January and possibly February depending on recruitment and training time for his replacement. It was a little bit of a shock, but it kind of pissed me off (excuse my language). He said that he was retiring and that maybe it was time for some change considering the way things are here. This to me sounded like a big F you (again, apologies) or that we've caused this mess and it's time for someone else to come in and try to fix it. So, now it all makes sense...basically, he's been checked out for a while and has chosen to ignore all the drama and not deal with any of it. Upon hearing this announcement, the Nastys were close to doing cartwheels down the halls. They think that their beloved D (whom I replaced) will come back and be their savior and that her return as director is a done deal.

So, now, I need to start taking a look at this potential opportunity. Do I apply for the Boss Man's job? It would be the next step in the career ladder, but I worry that I am not quite ready to make that leap. Plus, I need to consider if I want to work and supervise the same Nastys that treat me like I am an idiot. Granted, it may be a different situation, but do I really want to subject myself to that? Then, the other opportunity lies in the possibility of D coming back. She is a director in another district...if she's hired here, what's to prevent me from applying for her job? In reality, there are a lot of things to consider and also a lot of opportunities that could be presented to me.

I think that this information just rattled me...I'm not surprised, but at the same time I am in a little bit of shock. Plus, I'm slightly angry at what was said and how it was handled. It's more of the processing than anything else...I just have to ride out this wave of emotion and deal with what comes one step at a time.

To be continued...

My Civic Duty Fulfilled!

2008-11-02T17:12:00.000-08:00

Since getting married, I've been changing my name with all the companies I deal with, but I forgot one...The Registrar of Voters. In the primary, I voted absentee using my previous name and address with the intent of making the changes before the November election. Well, the deadline to change this came and went before I did what I needed to do. My sample ballot was mailed to my mom's. I could have voted at my past polling place in Escondido, but didn't think that would be convenient during the work week. Instead, I decided to vote early over the weekend at Registrar of Voters in Kearny Mesa...so did everyone else (or so it seemed in the County).

When I tell you how long it took me from start to finish, I'm sure you will say that I should have made the trip to Escondido to vote after work on Tuesday as I thought many times during my time in line. It took me (drum roll please) three and a half hours from the time I got in line until I walked out with my "I Voted" sticker.

Thinking I would get an early jump, I left D sleeping in bed at 8:10 and headed to Kearny Mesa. I had to park over a block away. At that point, the line snaked into the parking lot, down a long hall and back up and around several more lines before finally making it into the office to vote. In line, I met a woman who was voting early because she was leaving on vacation and others who forgot to do absentee and wanted to avoid the lines on Tuesday. There were all ranges of people there in line from the first time voter to the woman who had voted in every election since 18 (now in her 60s). Parent with young children instilling the value of voting, new citizens voting in their first election, families, singles. In spite of the long lines, spirits ran high at the prospect of what's to come. Regardless of personal beliefs, we were all united in our goal...to make our voices heard by giving up some time in our busy lives.

I finally made it to the counter and was re-registered with my new name and address. The only down side is that I had not prepared myself for the San Diego election pool. I voted and walked out feeling accomplished, hungry, thirsty and tired knowing that I could ignore the continuing political ads until the results are announced on Tuesday night.

So, to all of my readers, make sure to take the time by Tuesday November 4 and vote. The County is expecting a 75-80% turnout, so plan to wait in a line, but in the end, it's all worth it!

2008-10-27T08:34:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday! I'm feeling a little bleary eyed this morning, although I don't know why. It's not like we had a rockin weekend or anything. Friday morning started in grand fashion...I slipped on my way into the shower. I'm sure D had quite a sight when he came in to see what all the commotion was. Basically, most of me was on the floor of the tub with my left leg dangling over the side. At that moment, I didn't know whether I should laugh or cry and if I didn't have work commitments that day, I would definitely have take a mental health day! Fast forward through a busy day of work (testing and presentation), to a finally Friday feeling. D and I were so burned out from the week that we finally used an Applebees gift card for dinner. Then, it was home to the DVR before an early (for a Friday) bedtime.

Saturday morning, the fall came to haunt me...I was sore from end to end. Since I promised D I would go to a signing with him, I made it out of bed. After the signing, D went off with his friend and I went grocery shopping. OMG...grocery prices are insane! I stuck to the necessities (and even cut back on those) and still felt like we needed to go on a hunger strike for a while. At home, the groceries got put away and I parked on the couch. At one point, I fell asleep and was out so hard, I didn't even hear D come home. We both decided to take a nap (which ended up being 2+ hours). We were supposed to attend a Halloween party that night, but I was still so wrecked, we cancelled and stayed home.

Sunday, we cleaned around home (it's definitely a work in progress). I ran out to get the last of what I needed. Then, I morphed into Suzy Homemaker making pasta salad for lunch this week and stuffed shells to pop in the oven for dinner one night. I was so proud of myself that I accomplished so much. The rest of the day/night was spent relaxing and hanging out.

Now, it's Monday of another busy week and I'm hoping that this week does not work us both into exhaustion. Have a great one!

Sometimes it's Not the Answer You Want

2008-10-23T13:57:00.000-07:00

So, I got my answer and it wasn't the answer I wanted...the answer was no. I totally understand that it wasn't the right place for me to go, but it's hard to not feel bad and wallow. So, that's what I do for a while and then move on...the worst part is my feeling like I disappointed all those who were rooting for me. Let downs suck the big fat one...time to wallow and regroup!

Two Words...

2008-10-23T09:46:00.000-07:00

So, today's entry can be summed up with two simple words...

JUST CALL...

Is that too much to ask?!? Monday, I heard you'd call me on Wednesday. Well, today is Thursday and I am getting tired of my heart almost jumping out of my chest each time my phone rings...

Plus, I think I sprained (or heavily tweaked) my right hand and it hurts...I almost slipped on these stupid balls that fall from the trees at work on Monday and tried to catch myself and jammed my hand against the car.

Now...I wait...to be continued!

Busy Busy Bee!

2008-10-20T09:07:00.000-07:00

Life is so busy that I haven't had a chance to blog...lots happening in the last few weeks. Some highlights include:

Prospective Jay Oh Bee: In the last two weeks, I applied, interviewed and presented for a prospective position. The position is still in the system I work for, but on a larger scale. It would be a good stepping stone on my way to a director position and would get me that needed experience that I lack. It would also be closer to home (5 miles) for now and would be a nice raise...which could get us closer to our dream of buying a house. I had a final interview last Wednesday and have been on edge ever since waiting to hear...I go back and forth between the positive and negative. I heard this morning that they will have a final decision on Wednesday. I'm worried about the outcome because I heard such good feedback from the interviewers and my family has been telling me how proud they are of me, which is a potentially huge let down for all of us if I don't get it. At least, I know that I won't hear anything until Wednesday and can stop jumping at my phone ringing.
Mom and Meema: They've been through the ringer with all the workers in and out of the house over the last 6 months. Mom's bathroom is done and looks so good...I'll take some pictures this week when I visit. There was drama with the guy doing the work that started to take its toll, but now it's done and they can go back to life. Mom is starting to do ministry of the sick for the church once a month at a nursing home. She said it was difficult to see people younger than Meema in that situation, but it made her more thankful for Meema's health.
Social Events: Last weekend, we did dinner with our friends, Sheilina and Chris. I met Sheilina almost 20 (yikes) years ago when I started at Palomar College. We met over food in the cafeteria and spent the next few years in search of breakfast. Sheilina is always a good time and has the best heart in the world...she and Chris are on their way to joining the club (marriage). That same weekend, Mom, D and I (Meema wasn't feeling well) met my first "real" boss, Lois and her husband Alan, for brunch at Valley View Casino. We all had such a great time catching up. Lois and I had some perceived drama when I left that job, but we've moved past that.
D: He has been so amazing and encouraging through this whole process. He is also under a lot of job stress...he really needs to get out of his current job. It all came to a boiler on Friday, which was not the way either of us wanted to start the weekend.
Getting it Together: So, with everything in flux for us, we decided to take space by space and clean out. Saturday, we cleaned out cabinets in the kitchen. After cleaning the spaces out, I cleaned the kitchen and D did the bathroom (fair trade if you ask me). At the end of it, we had lots to take to Goodwill and a big sense of accomplishment. So big, that we rewarded ourselves with a stop at Islands for a burger and a beer.
First Anniversary: I can't believe that it's almost a year...I need to start thinking of a good idea. Especially since D told me that he's been thinking about it and that it's the paper anniversary. I was seriously shocked that he knew this...will wonders never cease!

Well, I have lots on my plate again this week, both at home and work. Hope all is well with everyone and sorry for the gap in blogging. Until next time...

Jay Oh Bee Updates

2008-10-07T09:18:00.000-07:00

So, I finally heard (after 2+ weeks) that I didn't get the job I interviewed for. BUT, there is a new job prospect on the horizon. Last week, I got a call from my contact at another district. She got a director position elsewhere and wanted to know if I would be interested in applying for her position (it's a supervisor). The call came late Wednesday afternoon and the deadline to apply was Friday. That night, I worked on the materials for almost 5 hours and managed to make the deadline. My current boss talked to them about me wanting to move up and has encouraged me to do this...he told me that the last two in the position have gone onto become directors. I got an email yesterday and I have an appointment on Friday for an interview and performance. Part of this process entails a 5-minute presentation to the panel. So, now, I have until 5:00 p.m. on Thursday to work on the presentation and email it to them by the deadline. I have cancelled all my plans this week to devote to this project. I am so excited about this opportunity...I would actually supervise 3 employees (instead of just having the title) and would get a nice raise in the process. It's also closer to home so I could save on gas. There are so many positives that could come with this position, but I am staying focused on each step. So, on Friday at noon, if you could send some good jay oh bee vibes my way, I would appreciate it!

Little Sleep...The Story of a Class Reunion Weekend

2008-10-07T08:58:00.001-07:00

So, this past weekend was D's class reunion...hard to believe that it's been 20 (gulp) years since high school. Even harder to believe is that in one year, we'll be attending mine. This reunion thing has been such a big deal for D...he missed the 10 year because El Ron gave him the wrong date. So, last week was spent prepping for the weekend in the middle of so many other things.

Friday: We left work early (around 1:00 instead of noon as originally planned) to run some errands before heading to EC (Macy's for a shirt for D, Cheesecake Factory lunch with gift card, Nordstrom Rack to pick up D's pants). After a quick shower and change and packing, we headed out the door to hit traffic heading east on the 8. We rolled into town around 7:15 to meet El Ron and Perlina (his "friend") for dinner at Celia's. Our next stop was the last quarter of Central's football game to start the reunion meetings. A woman came up to me and said, "You're D's wife. I've seen you on his Facebook." This was so random to me...I guess that's life in the technology era. After the game, we headed to a party at home of classmate's parents. It was so cute because the mom was in front of the house with a flashlight directing people onto their property and the dad was in the back guiding people into parking spaces. We had fun hanging out...Perlina and I let the boys do their thing while we people watched. Two girls across from us, in a not so discreet manner, asked "who are those girls over there" complete with a vehement head jerk in our direction. The highlight of the evening was watching a very inebriated girl swaying back and forth while placing her hand on some male at all times (probably as balance). Because it is the desert and there are bugs, a cockroach was running about the patio and some of the guys starting kicking it around. All of a sudden, we hear a loud slam (heel on concrete), followed by silence and gasping, and "That's how it's done". The inebriated girl killed the cockroach with her heel. Perlina and I could not stop laughing...I had tears running down my face from laughing so hard. Shortly there after, we made our way home for a quick nap (about 5 hours of sleep).

Saturday: We all met some people for breakfast (Celia's again...gotta get my fill of the Special Quesadilla) before running around. We took a quick nap before getting ready for the reunion. The reunion itself was fun...it was funny to see Julie McCoy Cruise Director (aka my husband) running around talking to people. I am married to quite the social butterfly! During the slide show, there was a picture of D with his skateboard...too funny! At the event, they had a memory table with photos of all the classmates that had died...there were so many and we heard that there were at least 2 more not displayed. It was a true awakening because I didn't think after 20 years there would be so many. I met some cool people who told me about D and what a smart ass he was (and he still is), but how great he was. After the reunion, we changed and headed to The Owl (some bar in EC) to hang out before a late night Denny's run complete with about 40 people. Finally, around 4:30, we went to bed.

Sunday: We got up and did a last breakfast before our Super WalMart run and heading home. We got home around 4:30 and took a nap...we were both so dog tired that we couldn't move.

The reunion was fun...I tried to let D have his social time without having to worry about me. I found out this morning that one of the girls (who I'd met before and was part of the Who are those girls conversation) thought I was stuck up to everyone. I was pretty upset about that because I thought I was cordial. It also brought me back to high school and I thought I was done with all that BS...oh well!

My View from the Newlywed World

2008-10-01T11:28:00.000-07:00

By definition, I am still a newlywed because we have not yet hit our one year mark. In fact, we are still in that month counting phase of our marriage (we are 10 months and 1 week). Recently, the younger Nasty got married and since then, she keeps making comments (which I perceive as being directed towards me) about certain marital related things. So, today, I am going to voice (write) my opinions and views on some of the things that she likes to (un)intentionally throw in my direction.

The Ring: After the Newlywed Nasty (NN for short) announced her engagement, I asked about her ring and whether they shopped around or if it was a surprise. Her response to me (and it's been said several times since) was, "We shopped...since I don't wear jewelery that often, I didn't want anything bigger than this. I actually think bigger rings look tacky." At first, I felt slightly insulted, but then I realized the immaturity associated with such a comment. A ring is a symbol and is not what marriage is about. The item on my left ring finger is there because of something so much bigger than I am...it's a symbol of a lifetime commitment D and I made to each other. I would give up the ring in a heartbeat, but will never give up that commitment without one hell of a fight!
Name Change: From the moment she got engaged, she has talked about changing her name. She also mentions on quite a regular basis that she is definitely changing her name and that she doesn't know why women don't after getting married. For the record, I did change my name, but a lot of my work stuff is still in my maiden name. I thought a lot about my name change...I don't necessarily like where the name came from, but it is who I've been for my entire life. I was having a hard time giving that piece of me up and because I married someone with a 3 letter last name that fit well with my maiden name, I hyphenated. I am also the product of a Mom who hyphenates...in fact, she stayed hyphenated with bio dad's last name for a few years after marrying my step-dad (for my school purposes). A name does not make an identity...changing (or altering) my name does not change who I am.
The Wedding Day: Yes, this was seriously the fastest day of my life! Yet, the one thing I remember (besides the minister calling me the wrong name 4 times, but who's counting?!?) is D and I standing in front of our friends and family and committing to a life together. And, even though the room was full of so many other people, the only person in that room that mattered to me was D.
Wedding pictures: Because I don't like attention, I didn't bring my wedding photos to work. Some who attended forwarded pictures via email to the department to share, but I never brought them in. Yesterday, NN brought hers in and showed them to everyone around...except me! While in theory, I don't really care...I was upset that someone could be so mean and nasty (hence the name). It would never occur to me to manipulate and connive and behave in such a manner.

So, I guess the bottom line of this post comes down to what marriage and it's related things really mean to each person. I will admit that the first year is not all kisses and puppy dogs. It is truly an adjustment to an existing relationship, but one that I would not trade for anything in the world. In spite of the trials, tribulations, drama, smiles and tears, I LOVE being married! I savor each moment and love sharing my thoughts, dreams and laughs in the dark before falling asleep with the one person who is at the same time my biggest critic (only to push me further) and my biggest cheerleader. I still get giddy when I see him walk through the door. So, after 10 months and 1 week, I still love my husband and understand what matters in life and know that is not the ring, the name change and wedding photos or anything else. I guess being (in)directly slighted about my personal marital choices made me really think!

Saturday Adventures

2008-09-25T08:57:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, D and I went on another trek for a signing. This time, it was for Tim Brown (Mr Raider) who was appearing at the grand opening of the Sports Pit at Harrah's Rincon Casino. We headed up Saturday morning. We had brunch at the buffet at Harrah's...after all, what would a trip to the casino be without a stop at a buffet?!? Then, we walked over to the Sports Pit. It's a pretty cool place and there weren't many people there. We both got photos with Tim Brown. He was a pretty cool man...

D and Tim

Tim and I

After hanging out for a while, we left and headed towards Escondido. We were going to pick up some carne from Kennedy's Karne Asada. Kennedy's is an institution in the Imperial Valley that has opened in Escondido. Their meat is so good! Before we hit Kennedy's, we saw a sign for a new housing development, Eureka Springs. We decided to take a look. We loved the biggest and smallest...they had great floor plans and amenities that we really liked. When we were looking, we came across a model that had dual closets in the master bedroom. I pointed to one and said that it was mine and the other would be his...D, in all seriousness, said that his was smaller. I cracked up at his wanting the larger closet...I think I've created a monster by helping him refine his personal style! Walking through these gorgeous homes were serious motivation for us. We were so excited at the prospect of buying a house and wished that we could move in there. It renewed our focus and desire to get our act together so that we can move into our own home.

The rest of the evening was spent getting ready for our busy Sunday...more to come!

End of the Week Thoughts and Musings!

2008-09-19T09:15:00.000-07:00

So, there is not much exciting going on right now. Which, for once, is a nice thing. Since I am leading a non-exciting normal life this week, I thought I'd share some random thoughts swirling around this head of mine...

Current Jay Oh Bee: Today, it's just me and one of the Nastys. In fact, she is probably the one with the most animosity toward me. I have lots of jobs closing and testing to be done, so the days are going quickly.
Prospective Jay Oh Bee: I interviewed on Wednesday and thought it went well. They asked questions about my leadership style and asked for examples of my experience. One of the questions was about my experience giving presentations...I told them about one I did for professional growth. As I answered the question, they all looked at each other and mentioned that was a great idea and that they should do one similar. Since leaving the interview, I jump every time my phone rings and can't stop thinking about it. This position would take me to the next step in my career and could take me so many other places, which would be a great advantage of working for a larger organization. Plus, they are on the same retirement system as I have been part of for the past 11 years, so my retirement potential could keep growing. (Oh my...that sounded like something my mom or other adult would say to me....could it be that I am growing up?!?) So, I wait to hear one way or another...I'll keep you posted.
D: He is getting ready to jump head-on into the intensive study world for his CPA. We've talked a lot about this and the short term sacrifices (study time, classes) versus long term benefits (better job opportunities and growth). In the end, it's ultimately the best thing for him career wise. He's applied to the California Board of Accountancy and now just needs to set up his study session schedule. So, within a year, he should have his CPA.
Mom and Meema: I got to see them last night. They are cleaning fiends right now and even bought the deluxe shredder to assist them with their tasks. Mom started the remodeling process for her bathroom this week. She is so excited to get this done. It's funny when she talks about her choices because she always tells D and I that they are not trendy choices. She is keeping them timeless and elegant so when we get the house we won't have trouble either living in it, renting it out or selling it. D and I don't care what she does to it...we're not counting the days until it's ours.
DVR/TV Viewing: So, after much debate, I've finally officially come to the conclusion that I am basically 30-something going on 16. Or, at least, that's how it would look if you checked our scheduled recordings on the DVR. In no particular order, I DVR 90210 (I still love the original...this one is mindless entertainment), Privileged, One Tree Hill, Jon and Kate plus 8, The Hills, Ugly Betty, The Office, and Dirty Sexy Money. I don't totally hog the DVR because I do let D record The Terminator Sarah Connor Chronicles. And speaking of my 16 year old TV habits, don't be fooled by D saying that it is garbage. He protests that I watch them, but then always wants to know what's happening.

So, that's a lot of things in my head...I'm sure there is so much more, but I don't want to overwhelm. Have a great weekend!

Updates on Life!

2008-09-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday! It's been a relatively mellow week for me. There's things happening, but nothing too exciting.

Jay Oh Bee: As expected, the retaliation happened. It's been in subtle bitchy ways, but it's been easier to handle considering I knew it was coming. Also, I got a call on Friday regarding a position I applied for months ago. I have an interview on Wednesday afternoon. I'm excited at this opportunity...D asked if I was nervous or excited about it. To be honest, I get a little nervous during interviews (as evidenced by the blotchy neck), but I think I get more scared about actually getting the job. The whole confidence factor comes into play. We'll see what happens...if it's meant to be, it will all work out!

Life: We've been busy running around...we've been completing our Wusthof knife set thanks to a late wedding gift. We are now only missing the steak knives thanks to many sales and promotions happening during our shopping sessions. Baseball season is coming to an end, which means the autograph chasing is also coming to an end. We went to a Jake Peavy signing on Saturday. It's fun to go, but it gets a little old to stand in line for at least an hour waiting. After all, how many items signed by one player do we really need?!? I joke with one of our friends that we are going to have an Adrian Gonzalez bathroom...wallpapered with all the signed baseball cards and photos with a baseball bat towel rack. Hope my friends don't mind using the restroom while a baseball player stares at you...haha!

Babies: This seems to be a recurring theme lately...it started with Baby E's visit, then on Friday, my coworker in another department brought her 7 month old daughter in. Then, on Saturday, we hung out with our friends, John and Angela and their two daughters, Madelyn (4 months) and Brianna (2 years old). While we waited in line for Jake Peavy, I kept Brianna entertained...or should I say, she kept me entertained. I apologized for teaching her "Cheers", but we had quite the fun time and bonded. When she wanted to hold her mommy's full hands and didn't want daddy...she settled for me. For not being a "kid" person for so long, suddenly, I am into it. It will probably be another year before we think about trying, but it's becoming evident that I've been bitten by the bug.

News: It was sad to watch the news this weekend and see all the devastation brought by Ike. Also, for some reason, I was very interested in the Metrolink train crash in LA. I spent time reading about it and listening to the news about it. I think it just showed how the simple things we do in life (boarding a train to go home) can turn into tragedy. If you can, take a moment and remember those affected by events like this.

Well, the boss is out this morning and I've been less than productive. Have a great week!

Triumph of Good Over Evil!

2008-09-09T09:16:00.000-07:00

So, the original title of this post was going to be "Payback is a Bitch", but I decided that would be me allowing the Nastys to win. Last week, Nice CW and I went into the boss' office and told him the latest issues we have been having. Things like eyes rolled when we ask questions or tell them that someone is there to see them; showing up 10-15 minutes late EVERY day or leaving 20-30 minutes early when the boss is gone; and so many other things. The boss was not too interested in what we had to say and tried to pass it off as "personality conflicts", but we persisted with concrete examples. He told us that he would mention it at our weekly staff meeting without directly referencing our conversation.

This morning was our staff meeting and he laid it out. He told people that they need to adhere to their work hours...if you're supposed to be here at 7:30 then do it and if you're supposed to work until 5:00 then do that. Then, he reminded us to be respectful and courteous to our customers and each other (duh). The look on the Nastys faces were priceless! While I have no doubt that this will bring serious repercussions from them, I feel like I won a small battle today. My Nice CW and I have grabbed our power and what we will tolerate back...it feels really good!

BTW...the matchy matchy slide show is up on the photographer's blog. If you want to see more, email me and I'll send you the link. I don't want to post it since it has our family name on it. Surprisingly, we look really good and I like the pictures!

Twenty Questions...How Well Do I Know My Spouse?

2008-09-04T14:56:00.000-07:00

I saw this on Amanda's blog and it looked fun...here are my 20 questions about my spouse, D.

They are watching TV….. What are they watching? Baseball, golf or something I'm watching that he pretends to not be interested in.
You're out to eat...what kind of dressing do they get on their salad? Ranch and will usually pick the tomatoes off my salad.
What's one food this person doesn't like? Popcorn...he worked at a movie theater as a teenager and can't even stand the smell.
You go out for a drink. He/she orders…Alcoholic: Depends on his mood, can be beer, rum and coke or dirty martini on the rocks. Non: Diet coke
Where did he/she go to high school? Central Union High School in the beautiful city of El Centro, California
What size shoe do they wear? 8.5 or 9 depending on the shoes
If this person were to collect anything, it would be? He collects sports memorabilia...it's not a collection, it's an addiction!
What is their favorite type of car? His dream car is a BMW M5
This person could eat __________ everyday? Eggs...he loves breakfast anytime of the day.
Favorite cereal? We don't really eat cereal, so I'm not sure
This person wouldn't be caught dead wearing… Pink
Favorite sports team? San Diego Padres and Oakland Raiders
Who will he/she vote for? He doesn't vote
What is their sign? Pisces
What is something you do that he wishes you didn't do? Be so indecisive...he hates when I won't make a decision on where to go for dinner
How many states has this person lived in? Just California
What is his heritage? Filipino
You bake them a cake for their birthday….What kind do they want? D is not a sweets person, but he would be happy with flan or tres leches (both of which I can't stand)
Did he/she play sports in high school? No, he was in the marching band
This person could spend hours….surfing the Internet

This was fun...

Matchy Matchy and Other Weekend Tales

2008-09-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

First of all, can I just tell you how wiped out I am?!? It was a busy weekend full of the range of emotions that can only be evoked by family...happy, sad, angry, excited, frustrated...I experienced the full gamut and felt like a manic person by last night. It was all I could do to pull myself off the couch last night and go to bed...that's how wiped out physically and emotionally I feel!

Friday: D and I headed up to Mom's to help with the early party prep. Kathy came over and helped also...she has been quite the help and support to Mom over the past few months. She is a great friend and has been indoctrinated into this crazy dynamic. Meema's contribution to the evening was dinner (I had to pick it up) of carnitas and chicken from Northside Market. Such good (and inexpensive) authentic Mexican food. Finally, around 9:00, D and I headed home to get ready for Saturday. I decided to be productive and get all our matchy matchy ironed and hung ready for us to go.

Saturday: D and I went to another Adrian Gonzalez signing. We had fun hanging out with our friend, Richard for a few hours. We grabbed some lunch before heading home for a quick nap and getting ready. Drove the new car (no one noticed...they even rode in it) to The Banking Mogul's for join up before heading to Balboa Park. Family pictures went well...we saw another family dressed in khaki bottoms and white tops...we were sure that our army could take them down without a problem. Here are some pictures that we took with my camera...and yes, our family is this small!

D and I...now known as Muffy and Ted who are ready to join the country club!

The Men of the Family...

The Women of the Family...

Meema (aka GGMa) with her grandkids (I'm the age-wise middle grandchild and the only girl) and great grandchild

After family pictures, we headed to Ruth's for dinner in our navy and khaki. Andy, our bartender friend, kept teasing us and calling us Team E...he got quite the kick out of it and it made us all laugh. Todd, Christine and Baby E made an early exit before dinner (not sure why). We ate dinner at the table next to the defensive line for the San Diego Chargers which included Quentin Jammer and Jacques Cesaire. It was Jacques' birthday also...we tried to get him to take a photo with Meema, but he wasn't having any part of it. Following dinner, D and I met "our child" Steve downtown. We hung out at the Tilted Kilt and East Village Tavern and Bowl for a while before heading home for some sleep.

Sunday: We headed up to Mom's around 10:00 and started getting ready for the party. The boys got the tables all set while I helped Mom get food done and the house cleaned up. Around 1:00, the rest of the family showed...I finally got some time with Baby E. I immediately fell for him...and it seriously awoke my mommy instincts.

Me (sans makeup) and Baby E

The family dynamic started and it was hellish at times that day. At one point early on, I had to go pick some things up for the party. I told Mom that I was leaving and wouldn't be back. Plus, I said things to Meema (with expletives) that should not be said to my 87 year old grandma. D kept telling me to relax and have fun. I tried, but it was difficult to bust my behind all day without credit. In the end, the party was fun and the food was phenomenal. Thanks to the excess of food, I won't need to cook much this week. The boys and I finally got home around 10:30pm where we crashed pretty quickly.

Monday: D and I were hoping for us time...wrong! Steve's flight back to New York did not leave until 9pm, so we got to entertain him for most of the day. He took us to dim sum at Jasmine (it was okay, but we were still hungry) and then we made a Yogurt World stop. We then went to Fry's (yuck), Target and Ross in search of a bag for Steve to take his extra stuff back home. I took a 3 hour nap in the late afternoon before we at barbecue. Steve left for the airport around 7:30. At that point, D and I got to take a breath...but it was a quick one...it's the close week for D, so it will be another busy few days for us.

All in all, the weekend was good. As I said before, I experienced a full range of emotions courtesy of my family. I owe D an huge apology for snapping at him (which I did under stress) and I also owe him so much love and gratitude for loving me in spite of this crazy family dynamic...he found out some information that makes me feel justified in my attitude and feelings (to be shared at another time). I also owe Baby E a big thanks...I knew I wanted to be a mom someday, but he cemented that feeling in me. I owe Mom a lot of gratitude and love for all she does and what she did this weekend without the gratitude of others. I realized this weekend that we need to take care of each other and not worry about the rest of the family. I owe my wacky crazy jerky dynamic of a family thanks...for being the army of navy and khaki that has drama, but still is a family. And most importantly, I owe myself some slack...for most of my life, I've internalized my (perceived) inadequacies and allowed that to make me feel less than I am. I have accomplished a lot in my life...I may not have the house or family yet, but I've done well. I only have to live up to my own standards and not those of others around me.

What a Week...It Continues!

2008-08-28T09:21:00.000-07:00

OMG...is this week over yet?!? Yesterday, I met Mom and Meema for lunch to pass off the rice cooker and we did some more rehashing/complaining about all the tension this family stuff is causing. Mom was most upset by the fact that there was a plan, but it did not include celebration of Meema's birthday. Saturday, Meema will turn 87. Because of her family status and age, we try to make all of her birthdays special. Mom's point was that just because we are doing family pictures doesn't mean we need to forget the birthday. We got it all out of our system and decided to go into the next few days with a positive attitude.

After lunch, I went back to work while Mom trekked Meema to the doctor. After their appointment, they headed south to see Baby E. From all reports, Baby E was a champion traveler. He slept through takeoff and most of the flight until descent into San Diego, which is no small accomplishment (they live in Philadelphia). His mom was cranky, tired and hungry, but he did fine. While I was running my errands after work, Mom called to share that Baby E was as cute as promised and that dinner plans had been made for Saturday. Meema's birthday celebration drama...done!

A little while later, I get a call from Mom asking if I know if the insurance company is open. Apparently, after leaving Uncle Banking Mogul's, she hit a pole in the street from all the construction. I guess the sun was in her eyes and she did not see it. Fortunately, she was not going fast and she and Meema are fine. The Beetle is not drivable...minor body damage, but mechanical damage. Uncle Banking Mogul has an extra vehicle (truck), so he loaned it to Mom and the Beetle was towed to the shop. Mom called me later after getting home...D said that we could loan her one of our cars (we have 3). Until last night, Mom did not know about the 3rd. It was purchased (as a minor impulse, but really great car at a good deal) last summer, but we have kept it low key. It looks similar (make and color) to our other car, so it's easy to see how she wouldn't know. We thought for sure that she would make the connection when she was at the house during the October fires and at Christmas. I was nervous about sharing this purchase with the family...it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do at the time, but it's done. So, we'll see if she want to borrow one of our cars or if she'll keep driving the truck.

Last night was one of those moments where I felt like one situation had been resolved, but another happened. Well, just another moment to reflect on the importance of family...while they may drive me crazy at times, I love them a lot and would be upset if something had happened to Mom and Meema last night. So, to the people in my life, thank you and I love you all!

Mid Week Recap!

2008-08-27T10:28:00.000-07:00

Happy Hump Day...it's Wednesday. It's only the middle of the week and it has been a jammed packed week already. The recap...

Monday: I had an interview panel at work, but one of the members was called into a mandatory meeting. So, I had to fill in. It was a nice break from my normal day, but I was tied up from 10:30 until 2:30. Instead of taking lunch at 2:30, I just worked another hour and left. D left work and met me for an early dinner before I headed to campus for Chapter. It was great to see the girls again. Our meeting ran smoothly and I was home so much earlier than I thought (10:30). Instead of crashing immediately because I was so wired from the evening, I parked on the couch to watch my Monday night guilty pleasures (The Hills and Jon and Kate Plus 8).
Tuesday: The day started with D and I in crabby moods about really random and stupid things. It was another busy workday...I'm on a staff development task force at work and it was our first meeting of the new school year (4 hours of business). Got of it just with time to check email and trek to my next meeting. While I was in my afternoon of meetings, the Nastys continued to play their same game. I got emails (with copies to the boss) about things that I hadn't done. At first, I was angry, but then I responded with the facts (hello, I've been tied up in meetings/panels for the last two days and I'm sorry that your things have not been done) with copies to the boss. He even responded with a thank you. After work, we made a stop at the dry cleaner/tailor (run by a former Korean pop star) to pick up D's pants for matchy matchy day. We went home with intentions of being productive, but our child came over for a while...he was making me anxious because he kept asking questions and would not sit still. It must be the New York lifestyle in him. Dinner was breakfast...bacon, eggs and hashbrowns for D and baked potato with bacon and salad for me (I wasn't feeling the egg thing). After our child left, we spent the evening on the couch watching the Padres game (yeah, they won!).
Wednesday: The work day is a little less stressed (no meetings or panels), but still lots happening. I'm meeting Mom and Meema for lunch and to pass off the rice cooker. D is playing softball after work...I'm going home following a stop at the grocery store to relax.

Speaking of matchy matchy...the drama is ramping up! My aunt sent an email reminding us of the family photo event and included a comment from the photographer about having clean and neat fingernails. I guess this is a concern since we might be photographed holding Baby E. Mom then sent an email responding to the fingernail directive saying, "Enough with the fingernails. Do you think we are all idiots? This photographer seems to be too anal for this family,". My aunt responded saying that it was a joke...do I hear a bell signaling the end of Round One?!? I think that we should start a pool of who in the family will melt down first and at what time. Right now, I'm thinking that it will be close race between Meema and Baby E. Meema has already stomped her feet and told us that she was leaving if the photos weren't done by 7:00, which made us all laugh. Oh well...we'll see what else this crazy week will hold for all of us!

Isn't She Pretty?!?

2008-08-25T09:46:00.000-07:00

So, as frequent readers know, I had a meltdown of epic proportions last week. It was over the most random and stupid things. As a cure, D and I went on a quest for a new dish rack. We found the Mercedes Benz of dish racks at Bed Bath and Beyond and bought it. I am embarrassed to admit how much it cost (which was helped a little by the 20% off), but I love it! We should be making comments similar to those we had around the trashcans made by Simply Human, but for some reason, this was different. Yes, for the price, it should wash, dry and put away my dishes, but sometimes simple things are the best things regardless of cost. Who knew that a dish rack could evoke such happiness?!? I smile each time I see it...I love my new "toy' and it looks pretty in our kitchen! Since I did not have time to take a photo of ours, here is a link to it...isn't she pretty?!? http://www.simplehuman.com/products/dishracks/steel-frame.html

Here we go again...Monday!

2008-08-25T09:33:00.000-07:00

Monday, Monday...after a busy weekend, here I am! We had a great and busy weekend...the recap...

Friday: Spent the evening on the couch cuddled watching the Olympics. Who knew that water polo, platform diving and ping pong could keep us so riveted?!?
Saturday: I met the girls for breakfast at Mimi's in honor of Pilar's visit. We had a great time catching up and talking about things. Then, I headed to Mission Valley to get my 20% back from my previous Bed Bath and Beyond purchases. I also walked around and found some really great brown boots (one dressy, one funky) at Nordstrom Rack, but I restrained and left empty handed. But the funky brown pair is calling my name...and they were only $40. Who knows...maybe they'll somehow end up in my closet soon! Went home and waited for D...finished My Sister's Keeper. Again, it was another Jodi Picoult book that had me torn throughout and I'm not sure how I feel about it. D and I did a mini date stop at Costa Brava...tapas, wine and good talks before we headed to our friend's annual summer cocktail party. Unfortunately, their daughter (7 months old) had already gone to bed. It was nice to hang out with them for a while. Then home for more late night Olympics viewing...the Redeem Team men's basketball for a bit before falling asleep.
Sunday: Our "child" (aspiring banking mogul, but chef in denial who lives in NYC) is here for the week and came over. We went to breakfast before spending lots of time with Mom and Meema. The boys ended up disassembling and moving Mom's treadmill back downstairs to the garage. We were rewarded by Meema with a dinner at L&L. We talked and caught with plans for the week...it's matchy matchy photo and family visiting and party week. Mom has her to do list ready and D and I have marching orders to help get her ready.

This week has lots filling it...tonight is first meeting of the semester with the girls. There is a lot on the agenda, so I know it will be a late night. I think (hope) that the girls have their proverbial act together and this should make my life a little easier. Have a great week!

I Melted Down!

2008-08-20T11:01:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday, I had the ultimate meltdown! We're talking butter melting on hot pavement, your favorite lipstick melted in the car on a hot day, meltdown. I really can't pinpoint the exact cause of said meltdown, but I can tell you it was bad! It had been one of those days that grates on my last nerve (whistling and humming incessantly adding to the ever present headache)...I got a call from Mom about moving something and her needing some photos as proof for reimbursement. Then, D wanted to workout, but the headache was too nasty to think of doing any physical exertion. So, we headed home...the ride home was an out of the blue picking match (everything you say is taken wrong...I hate these!) and ended up with me a sobbing runny nosed mess at home. It was so stupid and was brought on by the stress of the insurmountable process of life! After wallowing in our separate spaces for a little while, D came in and in his own way, made me laugh and brought me back to the "one day at a time...things can't be solved instantly" reality. We then decided to head out to look for a new dish rack (I threw ours away on Saturday because it was old and could not be cleaned again).

First stop was Target...nothing that we loved, would look good or last longer, but we did come out with my book for book club, two Tide stain pens (I always get stuff on me) and a game for D. Then, it was off to Bed Bath and Beyond. We found what we wanted, but it was way more than ever should be spent on a dish rack, but with our 20% off coupon, it was a little less. So, we are now the proud owners of a Simply Human Stainless Deep Dish rack. It's so pretty! Then, we walked around looking at other things. But the best moment happened when we were looking at the Simply Human line of trashcans. We need a new one and saw one (actually 2) at Uncle Banking Mogul's place. They are a great shape, but cost about $140 for the one we like. While we were impulsive in spending more that we should have on a dish rack, we held off on the trashcan. D saw the price and commented (loud enough for others to hear and chuckle). "For that price, it better wipe my butt."

After stopping for a quick bite, we headed home to handle the photo ordering for Mom before heading into bed. At the end of the night, as I fell asleep, I felt so much better than I had during the meltdown. I also came to the conclusion that I talk about making changes, but don't move as quickly as I should. So, it's time to move my feet and get things done. I also realized that the meltdown was a result of me not dealing with anxiety and letting it build up. Lots of lessons learned at a potentially expensive price...

My Head...the Weekend!

2008-08-18T11:06:00.001-07:00

Happy Monday! Things are good with me...still have the massive headache from hell. It's been a week since the vice wrapped itself around my head and gets tighter and looser throughout the day. I think I've really jacked the shoulders and back full of stress and that's what's causing the headache to take root in my head. It's so bad that caffeine, water, sleep and pills do nothing to make it go away...it only dulls the pain. It's not uncommon for me to get a headache every day, but they are usually gone within a little while or by the next day. So, I have an appointment for a massage on Wednesday to see if that will knock it out of my system.

The weekend was good...after work on Friday, D and I went on a shopping expedition. Costco (to pick up some photos and get gas), Carlsbad Outlets (to find matchy matchy outfits...we did, but found out that the men are wearing khaki pants). We bought D khaki shorts, but found that we had bought a pair of nice khaki pants a while ago. We had dinner at Bruno's Italian Restaurant in San Marcos (twice in one week...yum!) and made a quick WalMart run before heading to bed.

Saturday, the elusive Khalil Greene was signing autographs at Cox Cable in Chula Vista. So, being the amazing wife I am, D and I headed to the signing 2 hours before it started. There was a line, but I camped out in a chair reading my book while D socialized with his "cronies". Khalil is pretty shy, but he did smile at me and responded when I commented about how bad it is to have a cast. We hung out a bit before going home. D's friend had tickets to the game that night, but I really wanted to be a homebody. So, I gave D the free pass to hang out with the boys. Our friend, Sam, took D up on the offer to join him at the game and hanging out after. I dropped the, off downtown around 4:15 and then headed to the opening weekend of Fresh and Easy in my neighborhood. If you've never been to one, you should check it out. It's a cool idea of a grocery store geared to the busy life...lots of smaller packaging and ready to eat (healthy) meals at decent prices. Since I had a $5 off coupon, I walked around and bought some things. They rainchecked me on the reusable tote...due to the overwhelming response, they ran out. I went home loaded with groceries, cleaned the kitchen (threw away our nasty dish rack...now on a quest for a new one), got a package together and relaxed. Since I knew that I was going to pick the guys up, I just camped on the couch dozing. I woke up around 1:30 and thought that I'd be hearing from D soon since the bars close at 2:00...wrong! 2:00, 2:30, 3:00, 3:30...I sent a text with no response...4:00, I started thinking something had happened (jail, injury...who knows at that hour?!?) 4:30, I finally called (I waited because I didn't want to be that kind of wife, but really started to worry), but it went straight to voice mail. 5:00...I hear a voice at the front door (door open, screen locked), "Hey babe, it's me." D was finally home...turns out the cell phone had died (but don't your friends have one you could call me from?) and they hung out at the friend's house and then the friend took him home. So, after chatting about the evening, we went to bed when the sun came up.

Sunday, we slept most of the morning (gee, I wonder why?!?) and didn't rise until noon. After showering and dressing, we headed to Pipes for breakfast/lunch. Since our original Sunday plan was the beach, this became the closest thing to it for the weekend. We made it home for a quick nap before dinner at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky. We did our video conference with Baby E, who is now the owner of a tooth...he's getting so big and we can hardly wait to see him in 10 days. Dinner was procured by Uncle Banking Mogul from Pat and Oscars. They don't really cook and take advantage of their great cooking and rely on easy, takeout meals. We had a good time at dinner and spent more time there than originally planned. Cousin Cleveland was heading home on the red eye and needed to get to the airport. He'll be back in 10 days also for the big family weekend.

This week should be pretty good...school starts tomorrow (where did the summer go?!?) and it may get a little busy with sites asking for help and questions. Tonight, I meet with the girls to get things organized for the new semester. They start school next Monday and this is our pre-school meeting. I'm picking up pizza for them...I hope tonight doesn't go too late.

Hope everyone had a great weekend...take care!

Cranky, Addicted and It's the Weekend!

2008-08-15T09:26:00.001-07:00

I am just cranky and feeling blah this week and really have nothing to blame it on. Maybe it's the humidity getting to me and throwing my balance off...or it could be the headache that has resided with me since Monday that ranges from throbbing to dull, but refuses to vacate.

This week has been relatively smooth, but I must make an admission..."I am Mrs Big D and I am addicted to the Olympics." I didn't really watch the opening ceremonies, but I have watched so many events I've lost track...swimming (men's and women's, individuals and relays), men's synchronized diving (yes, I think Thomas Finchum is a doll...even though he's only 18 and looks a lot younger...it must be a carry over from all those high school crushes I had on swimmers and water polo players), beach volleyball, boxing (as I passed through...D was watching it), softball and women's gymnastics. I've been so entertained that I've been walking into rooms throwing my arms up like a gymnast at the start and end of her routine...it keeps D quite amused. I've been so addicted that even though I knew the US would not win the gold in women's gymnastics, I had to stay up way past my weekday bedtime to watch it to the bitter end. And, I've cut myself off cold turkey the last two nights, bypassing the couch and D for the bedroom and a book and usually falling asleep early.

I'm glad it's the weekend...we have lots of little plans, but nothing too major. Today is our mini date/spend time together evening. Right after work, we're heading to the outlets in Carlsbad to do some shopping (still on the quest for matchy matchy navy shirts) and have dinner somewhere. I have a strong aversion to making dinner on Friday night...it's my reward and relaxation for a long week. Saturday is running around with D before I drop him off downtown. Tomorrow night is his "boys night out" at the Padres game and then hit up a bar or two. My plan for "girl night in" is a massage (that will hopefully knock out the never ending headache) and some other random tasks around the house. Since I've been feeling domestic lately, I might bake something. Sunday, we're hoping to make it to the beach for a while. Then, it's back east video conference and dinner at the Banking Mogul's Deluxe Apartment in the Sky...heir apparent (Cousin Cleveland) is in town for his 10th (OMG...he is not that old because that means I am that old) high school reunion. Originally, dinner was to be at Ruth's, but the responsible adults in us (when did that happen?!?) vetoed our participation. Meema's birthday is in 2 weeks, so we knew that dinner would be a Ruth's run and we needed to be prepared for that. So, it's dinner at the apartment with the family.

Well...I hope everyone is doing well...have a great weekend!

Monday, Monday!

2008-08-11T15:45:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday! I cannot believe how fast weekends go...if only the work week went as fast. This was a pretty mellow weekend for us and it felt good...so, today's weekend recap will be a little boring...

Friday: We watched a Rachael Ray episode about the olympics and creating a menu around it. Because I have nothing else to do in my life (not), I decided that I would (again) be that dorky (yet lovable wife) that makes a theme dinner in honor of an event. Dinner consisted of "Pit-zas" (pita pizzas layered with greek ingredients) and spanokopita meatballs (ground chicken mixed with spinach and feta) served with a yogurt cucumber sauce. (I took pictures and will post them with recipes soon.) They are both definitely keepers and D enjoyed them also. The rest of the evening was spent "geeking out" and watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics.
Saturday: I woke up in kind of an unexplainable funk and could not get my butt moving that morning. It was one of those days where everything frustrated and irritated me. D headed off to meet his friend at the card shop. I stayed on the couch watching the DVR...Hopkins and Tori and Dean before switching to the regular bad television. Finally, I snapped myself to life and showered and ran some errands. I needed a gift for an exchange and some other things. After running my errands, I came home to bond even more with my friend the couch. And, there I stayed for the rest of the day and evening (except for some snack and potty breaks). We watched the Padres game and then the Olympics. I am so hooked on the Olympics for some reason.
Sunday: We met Mom, Meema and Alicia for breakfast. Then, we went to Mom's to do laundry and help her do some things for the party at the end of the month. We were slated to attend an alumnae barbecue that afternoon, but neither of us felt very social. Instead, we did a Target run and had some dinner before finally getting home with our clean laundry around 9:00. More time spent on the couch watching the Olympics and then we headed to bed.

This week looks like it will be busy for us. Tomorrow, I get my "snaggletooth" fixed. I chipped my tooth (I did it originally in 3rd grade and the bonding gets loose) about 10 days ago and am getting it fixed tomorrow at the dentist. Plus, there are lots of other random things to be handled and taken care of. Hope all is well...have a great week!

Random Things...

2008-08-07T11:02:00.001-07:00

Yes, two posts in one day...I have some random things to share...

I stream AOL music at work via my computer...today, I am listening to the 111 worst songs. And, to be honest, there are some (not all) songs on that list that I like and have on my iPod or now want to download. Bands/artists like Captain and Teneille, Shaggy, Rupert Holmes, OTown, LFO, and others playing cheesy songs are just my thing. Although, I'm sure that there are sucky songs that will get stuck in my head (The Ketchup Song had me bopping my head side to side even though I hate that song.) Is that bad?!?
Enough with the Brett Favre talk...this morning, I was about ready to scream because the local sports station that we listen to while getting ready could only talk about that. They even resorted to getting reactions about Brett's relocation to the Jets from Chargers' players. I finally had to turn it off.
Padres...my dear sweet Padres what am I to do with you?!? I am a die hard fan that has stuck with you through thick and thin. I start out my seasons with great hope. This year, I even made a baseball themed dinner on opening night so we could settle in to watch the boys play. Plus, I've supported them through the end of many ugly games and not been the fair weathered fan who stays when they win and leaves when they lose. For heavens sake, I've been to caravans and signings in extreme heat and almost got pushed to the ground by the ravaging Adrian Gonzalez fans. I know that this season has gone to the toilet and there is no playoff hope, but must we rape and pillage all the players that can do something. This morning, I learned that Brian Giles and possibly Greg maddux were put on waivers (rumors say that Brian is going to Boston) and no longer part of the team. Yes, Scott Hairston, Chase Headley and Jody Gerut can handle the outfield, but what about that veteran leadership. Saving money by unloading players this season does not mean more in the payroll coffers next season. It only means more money that can be disputed in the ugly Moores (owners) divorce. My suggestion (arm chair coach) to the team is to stop renting players and give some of these boys a chance to develop (can you say X Nady and Jason Bay). While I am usually sad at the end of baseball season, this year I can only hope that this one ends soon without too much more bloodshed! In the end, I will still wear my hat with pride and look forward to another happy day at the ballpark.

I'm Going to Be Late...

2008-08-07T10:29:00.000-07:00

D and I have been trying to do our share to help the environment (and our wallets) by carpooling to work a few days of the week. Since we work so close to each other, it's less wear and tear on the cars and makes sense. D usually drops me off (it just works better that way) and will text me when he is on the way to pick me up. This week has been the dreaded monthly close (aka extra busy during the day and working at home in the evenings) and against my better judgment (with D's reassurance of leaving on time), we carpooled yesterday. So, around 4:25 (he's supposed to be here around 4:35), I get a text from D saying, "Hey I just got done with the close. Can u hang out for another 30 minutes?". My response: "I guess so if that's what you need But you owe me". My thoughts were that I could get a little extra work done and it would be no big deal. Then, the Boss left at 5:05, still no D. Finally, around 5:30, I get another text saying he had to do two more things and would leave soon. I texted him that another 30 minutes. So, finally at 6:25, D pulls up at work to pick me up. He knew that I was upset (I wasn't really because it's out of his control) and tried to make up for it. He told me that he had thought for a moment at lunch about giving me the car in case something like this happened, but felt confident that the afternoon would go smoothly (not).

Since we were both a little wound up and the weather was nice, we decided to head out somewhere...Fashion Valley on a quest to find navy blue tops for the family pictures at the end of the month. Yes, my family is going to be that matchy-matchy group taking photos in Balboa Park over Labor Day weekend. With Baby E in tow, we will be the small (all 11 of us) group wearing navy blue tops with khaki bottoms. D and I both have the navy top, but they have faded enough to require purchase of new ones. We walked around Fashion Valley and ended up having dinner at the Nordstrom Cafe...for D, it was tomato basil soup and angel hair pasta; for me, it was chicken soup and salmon nicoise salad. Pretty healthy and I didn't have to cook. Then, it was a little more browsing, before heading home empty handed. At home, it was a relaxing night and early bedtime for us. Today, after work, I'm heading to see Mom, Meema and the boys. Hopefully, the boys will be around me...I was the "evil one" last week by dispensing their monthly dose of flea medication. Have a great day!

Lessons from Vacation!

2008-08-06T11:51:00.000-07:00

So, while on our "vacation slash honeymoon" (as D would tell everyone who asked why we were there), D and I had a great chance to spend some quality time together. It was our chance to "reconnect" which sounds odd for only being married less than a year. With life around us so crazy busy, it's easy to see how couples lose touch and grow in different directions. We really make the effort to stop and spend time together, but it is amazing how the calendars fill up with other commitments and obligations. So, today, I share with you lessons from vacation:

We LOVE cheese! We went to several places that had cheese shops or tasting plates. As previously noted, we spent our last night on a hill eating cheese and some meats while sipping wine. Since we've been home, we have bought some cheese and meats and spent an evening together eating cheese and drinking wine. I think the cheese plate and a bottle of wine may be our new "date night" concept.
In fact, we LOVE food period! We sought out good restaurants and boarded buses into other areas because we'd seen them on TV or read about them in Lonely Planet. I am also becoming obsessed with all things culinary and am always trying new recipes on D. Fortunately, he is not a picky eater and will eat what I make. I always ask his input on what he wants.
Stinky people are everywhere and if there is a stinky person to be found, he/she will sit next to or near me! This started with the woman at Convention (from Minnesota, I later found out) who sat behind me during a keynote speech by the Lt. Governor of Oklahoma. It was so bad I almost walked out from being so nauseous. The worst part about this woman is that she went to college at one time and wouldn't her friends say something. After all, it was over 100 degrees every day in Scottsdale...I took a shower everyday and still worried about myself. Then, it continued in my travels with the man who sat in front of me on the way to Vancouver with the flecks in his hair. Each day of my vacation was incomplete until I experienced the stinky person of the day...it became quite the quest (not on purpose) and source of hilarity for D and I.
Drama is useless in any form. Whether the drama comes from work, friends or family, it offers nothing positive to one's life. Hence, my decision to not take the actions of others personally and let it effect my life.
We both have jay oh bee issues and need to do something about it. We talked about this at length and what goals we have in our careers and how best to achieve them.
I really like what I do as a Chapter Advisor...as frustrated and annoyed I am with the girls, I feel like I am making some kind impact in their lives.
We really want to buy our own home (to live in and not a rental) and are more focused on that goal. Before, we knew we wanted a home, but were not focused on how to get there. Now, it's become clearer and we will do whatever it takes for us to do that. Scary to say, but we both have evolved and grown into adults! Plus, we want a baby someday and don't want to displace D's memorabilia for a baby's room :)
And the most important lesson...enjoy each other's company and take the time to do so! We have so much fun together and love being married, but we sometimes forget to stop and spend uninterrupted quality time together. Being on vacation for so long made us realize how important we are to each other and that we've got a good thing going!

All By Myself...

2008-08-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

So, the great thing about being married is having company around. Yes, there are times when you want space, but then there are other times when you need that warm body home. Even if it's in the other room, it's still comforting to have that around. Sunday nights are that last quiet night for us before the crazy work week starts. Well, tonight, unexpectedly, I'm all by myself! It's the start of close week for D at work...usually, this involves him spending a few hours working remotely on Sunday night. However, thanks to his incompetent IT manager, D was unable to log in to work from home. So, off he went to Poway to see if he could fix the problem and come home quickly. Instead, it didn't get the problem fixed at home. So, at almost
10:00 on Sunday night, D is diligently working in Poway and I am home. Hopefully, I'll stay up a little longer so we have a little Sunday night cuddle time...good night!

Travel Stories!

2008-08-01T10:04:00.000-07:00

So, we are finally home from the whirlwind travel experience. I started out with a weekend in Scottsdale, Arizona for Convention. It was an awesome experience, but I haven't uploaded my photos yet, so I can't blog about it yet. But D created a photo album online with pictures from our Seattle and Vancouver adventure (see link below). Here is a recap of our trip:

Wednesday 07/16: Got up and ran the last errands (including a stop at Costco) before treating ourselves to lunch in Old Town (Cafe Coyote). Headed to the airport and had a quick check in and security screening. We had some time to relax before boarding our Jet Blue flight to Seattle. The flight was nice...they have Direct TV screens at every seat with 20+ channels of programming. This was enough to keep up entertained on the flight. Arrived in Seattle and made our way to our hotel for check in. We then walked down to Public Market (aka Pike Place) for a quick survey of the city. Dinner was at 13 Coins which is a 24-hour restaurant with great food. We had some really good clams in a pesto broth plus dinner. It was more than enough that we had leftovers to snack on.

Thursday 07/17: Got up and ate some of the free breakfast offered by the hotel before heading to Pike Place. Pike is a really cool place...like a farmer's market on steroids. We wandered through the stalls taking in the sights and sounds. We made the obligatory stop at the original Starbucks and bought Mom a mug with the original and current logos on it. After we'd done all we wanted there, we took a bus out to the UDub (aka University of Washington). Our first stop was the bookstore...I have a thing for college sweatshirts (they are the most comfy to wear), but was unable to find anything that I wanted to buy. We found greek housing and I took a picture in front of my chapter's house...my advisor in college was an initiate here. We headed back for a quick rest and went to dinner at Shiro's Sushi, which is supposed to be the best. It was good, but I'm still a Sushi Ota fan. We then met our friend, Kristen, for drinks before heading back to the hotel.

Friday 07/18: We were both tired, so after a late rising, we headed back to 13 Coins for lunch. That afternoon, we took the bus and headed to the ballpark for the Seattle Mariners game. It was Felix Hernandez bobblehead night, so we got our bobbleheads and our hand stamped before heading out to the Pyramid Brewhouse. They sell cheaper beers and food before the games while hosting entertainment. We then headed into the game...after a few innings, we were tempted by the ballpark food. We found a Japanese food kiosk that looked really good. I ordered a bento box (filled with chicken, rice, edamame, sushi) and D ordered an Ichiroll" (sushi) combo. The food was great, but we missed the Seattle grand slam. The game was good, but we weren't so invested in it since we aren't fans. After the game, we met Kristen and her friend Lunchbox (he has a real name, but this is what everyone calls him) for some beers and late night grub at 5 Point Cafe. D and I shared a plate of sliders and tater tots (so good!) before heading home for the night.

Saturday 07/19: We cruised around the city and ended up at the Experience Music Project Science Fiction Museum. This was so cool...we spend several hours in there playing instruments and looking at the exhibits. That night, we decided to take a bus out to the suburbs to find Beth's Cafe which we had seen on Travel Channel. It is a total dive, greasy spoon place complete with 6 and 12 egg omelets. D braved the 6 egger, but didn't make a dent in it. I ordered the chili burger with tater tots (again, so good!). After dinner, we went back and packed.

Sunday 07/20: We left Seattle and headed for Vancouver...we thought we were on a train, but it was a luxury motorcoach (bus). It was a pleasant ride (I slept a lot) except for the stinky man in front of me. We got to Vancouver around 3:00 and checked into our hostel. We had a private room which reminded me of a college dorm. We walked around our area and had dinner. I was chastised about my iced tea (it was presweetened) by the waiter. We then relaxed for the rest of the evening.

Monday 07/21: Had breakfast at the hostel before heading out to explore the city. We walked around the downtown area for a while and then headed toward Gastown. We went in search of a place we had seen on Giada's Getaways and found it...Salt Tasting Room. The concept is meat and cheese platter with various condiments and bread that can be paired with wine tastings (we went for a bottle). It was so good and opened us to the cheese concept (we now crave it). Feeling a little buzzed after lunch, we continued to cruise around the city and into Chinatown. We accidentally fell into a bad block with the "hypes" (aka drug users) and had one woman (with 3 teeth and ratty looking) trying to get D to give him money. That night, Tracey and Sean (D met them last year) took us to dinner at Bridges on Granville Island. Dinner was great and the view of the city and harbor was amazing. Plus, sunset is not until 9:30 so it adds to the views.

Tuesday 07/22: I was a little tired and not feeling too well, so we got a late start. We went to lunch at Stepho's Greek restaurant. We had walked by and seen lines for dinner. The food was really good. We then took a bus to English Bay and went in search of Stanley Park. We found it and were amazed at how big (larger than Central Park in NYC) it is and how beautiful. On a recommendation, we took a horse tour around the park. Then, we took the free shuttle back to the spots we wanted to see (the totem poles and rose garden). That night for dinner, we took the ferry back to Bridges for dinner. D laughed at me for demolishing my dinner (not a bite left).

Wednesday 07/23: We were lazy again and then took a bus out the commercial area of Vancouver in search of another place we'd read about for belgian fries. It was good and filling. On our way back, we took the bus to the end of the line, but it was the wrong way. So, we hopped on another bus and headed back into the right direction. That night was the first of 4 nights of the HSBC Celebration of Light fireworks show. We decided to go and see it also. After a quick bite to eat, we walked (no buses running in that direction) to English Bay. It was so crowded that by the start of the show, there was not one empty space on the ground to sit. It was an amazing show! Afterwards, we headed back and ended up taking the long way home.

Thursday 07/24: We had a late lunch and headed toward downtown. We did some souvenir shopping and last day sight seeing. For dinner, we decided to go to the Granville Island Market (like Pike Place) and buy some cheese, meats, and a bottle of wine. We took the ferry back and sat on a hillside people watching and seeing the sunset our last night.

Friday 07/25: Time to head back to Seattle and then home...took the bus back to Seattle. At the border, the Customs guy asked how we knew each other. I was tempted to say that D was my random vacation hookup or some other smart ass response, but jail does not appeal to me. We made it back to the station with less time to spare than originally planned. The taxi driver got us to the airport in record time (in rush hour traffic) and we got checked in with some time to spare. We went through security and I hear someone ask about a bag and D says, "That's my wife's." and then TSA says "Bag check". I get summoned over and then realize that in all the rush, I'd forgotten to take out the butter knife we used for our leftover cheese on the bus. I immediately start explaining to TSA what it was and started panicking on the inside about what will happen to me. TSA was really nice and offered to mail it to me if I wanted (no) and we were off to the gate. Our flight home was uneventful and we were entertained again. Finally, we arrived home safe and sound around 11:30 (following a late night dinner stop).

We had an AMAZING time together and we learned so much (another blog, another time). It was exactly what we both needed...it's good to be home, but I miss that time together!

The link to D's photo album of our trip: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dv82u/sets/72157606453740041/

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2008-07-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

Today is Mom's birthday! I know that she doesn't really like the whole birthday thing, but she deserves to have people celebrate her day. She does so much for Meema and I that she is entitled to people reminding her how great she is. Her friend, Fred, planned a surprise birthday lunch for her today, but unfortunately, I can't participate since it's my first day back to work. Last night, though, we celebrated Mom and Aunt Banking Mogul's birthdays with a Ruth's run.

It was good to see the family...our evening started with a video conference with Baby E. He's getting so big and we are all so excited to see him when he makes his first visit to the west coast family. We are scheduled that weekend...it's Meema's (aka GGMa to Baby E) birthday and we are having a party plus family photos taken that weekend. After the video conference ended, we headed to Ruth's where Mom got chastised by Andy (our bartender) for hitting Meema. Apparently, they had a discussion and bet over whether Andy could make a Black Russian (he could), so Mom in her excitement, "hit" Meema in the arm. Andy told Mom that she should not behave like that. It was a funny start to dinner. As usual, the food was great and company was good also. Dinner ended with us all laughing at Uncle Banking Mogul rattling off statistics about women, second pregnancies and c-sections...it was a little frightening that he knew so much about this topic. He refused to listen to us and was certain of his Google results. Then, D and I headed home where we crashed very early...not sure if it was the pressure of going back to work, the glasses of wine kicking in or the end of vacation exhaustion.

Now, it's back to life as we know it. I still have lots of blogging to do, but we didn't touch our photos this weekend. My goal is to have them done by the end of the week...I have plans on Tuesday and Thursday, so this should be an attainable goal. Have a great day!

Mama, I'm Coming Home1

2008-07-24T22:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it's not just the title of an Ozzy song, but also what's happening to me. The travel loop that has taken me to Scottsdale, Arizona, home for one night (less than 24 hours), to Seattle Washington and Vancouver Canada is now taking me home. To be honest with you, I'm a little sad because the last two weeks has been more than I could ever have imagined. Once I get home and download my photos, I'll blog and share my adventures. Some highlights include being near a stinky (body odor ridden) person at least once a day ever since Scottsdale, eating our way through the cities and getting on buses (that we probably should never have been on) in search of restaurants we read about in Lonely Planet or saw on some food show and so much more. I have not thought about much in the "real world" since I've been travelling...D and I have talked about things in general concepts and how we want to handle our respective jay oh bees, but no thought has been given to what has been happening there...for once, being on vacation and not really caring or worrying about what's going on there feels REALLY good...it's a healthy thing for me to walk out a door and leave it there and not take it home with me. I just hope that this time away has ingrained that thought permanently into my psyche.

So, with that, I leave you...I have some last minute enjoying of my humble home away from home...and of course, spending the last alone time with D before we hop back into the crazy (but happy) life we lead at home. Until the next blog...take care and have a great day!