2014...Resolutions?!? Efforts!

Hello 2014!  I am not a big fan of the word resolution...so, I'm making efforts this year.  The following are mine...setting them out there so I can be accountable!

• Be better at money...spending, saving, etc.  I have a love hate relationship with money and debt.  It's been something I've overcome in the past, but feel like I need to put some energy here.
• Be better to myself...cut some slack.  Treat myself to something substantial (shoes, clothing) each month.  I sometimes spend money on useless stuff and usually have nothing to show for it.
• Take my lunch to work more often...along with the money issue, it gets expensive to eat out and can be a major drain on my bank account.  My plan is to pull $20 out on Monday for lunches for the week rather than relying on the evil debit card!
• Get moving...do some sort of movement everyday.  Even if it is just walking Archie around the block, I need to  get my body moving.
• Cook a new dish every month...I love to cook and it is my way of expressing my creativity.  I want to branch out and try something different.
• Make connections with friends...make the effort to get together more regularly...even if it is a coffee date.
• Reaffirm my relationship with God...not sure what this ultimately looks like, but really make the effort.  D and I say grace before all of our meals...continue and expand that in some way.
• Really and truly figure out the jay oh bee situation...do I stay?  I always keep an eye out, but I think I need to make a real change.  That situation wont ever change and I can't wait for 2 years until my boss retires for something to happen.  
• Connect with D...make the effort to be present when we are together.  We have a good relationship, but I think we forget to "date" and make the time for each other.
• Help the family dynamic...it's a difficult thing to deal with, but I think for Meema's sake, we need to strengthen it.  Cousin and I have chatted about this and being the ones to lead the charge. 
• Blog more...it's a good outlet to share what's happening.

I think this is a good start...look for updates periodically...a blessed and prosperous New Year to all!

Tap, Tap, Tap...Is this thing on?!?

Hello blogging world!

Looking back, it's been over a year since my last blog post.  Yikes, that is way too long.  Since it's New Year's Day, I'll catch you up on what is happening in my world!

LIFE:  In May 2012, D and I moved in with Mom and Meema.  It came as an offer to make our lives a little easier and help save for a house.  We had financially hit the wall where we were being penalized for not owning our own home...we have a rental, but that counts differently for tax purposes.  Trust me, getting our taxes done for a few years was painful.  I think if we drove near a cliff after our tax appointment some years, I would have veered off it!  It was a challenge to move back into my old (tiny) bedroom with my husband, but we made the sacrifice.  It was rough at times to be an adult, but under the scrutiny.  For the most part, though, it took some stress of us as we got our lives in order and ready to become homeowners.

Finally, in the Spring of 2013, we had saved enough to start our search for a home.  It was the most stressful time in my life for a lot of reasons...D and I don't argue, but this process challenged that repeatedly.  We put in a few offers and were rejected.  We looked at one house (that D didn't like the outside from the photos) and found our home.  After a few back and forth moments, our offer was accepted.  The escrow process was so smooth and the back was ready to fund our loan in less than 2 weeks.  We closed escrow on Friday, May 17 (while I was in Indianapolis) and moved in on May 24.  D had to coordinate the move as I was taking care of my mom with her outpatient procedure.  We love our house...we each have our own office and it's a great place to entertain.  It's nice to be in our own space and makes us both feel settled.

As part of the settling in process, we adopted Archie.  He is a boxer, terrier, pit bull mix.  We adopted him from the Escondido Humane Society on August 18 (the day after our housewarming).  He is a character, a love and so much fun.  I joke that he is a daddy's dog...he spent a lot of time with D when we first got him due to my schedule, but he is happiest when both of us are home.  He loves people and is quite the social butterfly when we take him on our "Frosty Friday" outings to the local micro breweries.

JAY OH BEE:  Well, this is a little more complicated.  In the summer of the 2012, I took a "voluntary" (not really, but in the name of the budget) demotion.  This was so hard to deal with and really hurt.  I had a supervisor title, but  neither of my bosses (current or retired) ever gave it any credibility.  This title and opportunity was the reason I took the job in the first place.  Anyway, when one of the Nastys moved to another position, my boss decided to replace the position at a higher level.  It meant needing to make a cut somewhere (me) to do so.  The person would take on some of my responsibilities giving me the chance to do other things.  Our first hire was there a year...she  was young and looking for work to be a social connection.  We got along well and worked well together.  After she left, we hired someone older, which I thought would be a good idea because she would stay out of the drama...wrong!  Anyway, not much has changed in the jay oh bee situation.

SORORITY: Wow, this was a challenging year for this part of my life.  In the Spring 2013, social media (Instagram) was the challenge...photo that sparked controversy.  Multiple meetings, phone calls and education took up my time.  In the fall, it was an unsanctioned event.  I love what I do and the impact I feel I make, but let me tell you, there are times that I just want to say forget it.  Then, something happens to make me realize that I am where I should be.  This year, the Chapter gave me an award (normally reserved for members) for the Biggest Heart!  Also, I've become more involved at a national level.  It feels good to give back to the organization that has given me so much!

Well, so long 2012 and 2013...here's to more blogging!

50 Shades...

I LOVE to read! From my childhood, I have always loved to curl up with a good book and get lost.  Meema and I read the entire Little House on the Prarie series (including the cookbook) and a good number of the Nancy Drew books together.  Recently, there has been a lot of hype and discussion regarding the "50 Shade" trio of books.  To this point in my life, I have not followed the mainstream and read a book for that reason...I am probably one of a small group who has not read any of the "Twilight" or "Hunger Games" books.  However, recently, I needed some new reading material.  I had seen 50 Shades of Grey at Target, so I decided to download it onto my iPad.  And, let me tell you, I read and read!

The Amazon description of the book is:  When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms. Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires. Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.


I started Book 1 (50 Shades of Grey) on Friday evening and read late into the night.  Anytime, I had a chance to read, I did.  When talking to D about it, I mentioned that I would read Book 1 and then read something else before moving on to Book 2.  Wrong!  As soon as I read the last sentence of Book 1 on Sunday afternoon, I opened Book 2 because I needed to know what happened.  Sunday night, D was working and I read, and read, and read.  I finished Book 2, Monday at lunchtime.  Monday night, I started reading again...I was halfway through Book 3 (the final in the series) by the time I went to bed.

For some reason, this trilogy has captivated me (and not for the reasons you think).  It's been a while since a book took hold of me and made me want to keep reading.  Now, don't get me wrong...this is not the great American novel or something that will go down as a classic, but for me, it's been a great, entertaining read.  I know that I am in the minority...the reviews on Amazon are horrible.  It is not for the faint of heart...it is graphic and detailed with its themes, scenes and stories.  It's been a real education for my "vanilla" mind! 

I identify with some of the concepts in the book...Christian Grey doesn't want to get involved (seriously) with someone because he is 50 shades of messed (he uses another word) up.  Deep down though, through those 50 shades, he finds a way to let in someone.  I think we all have some level of dysfunction in our lives...we just have to step over it and let people close.  It's also given me a new appreciation of my relationship...through all our baggage, insecurities, stress, we've managed to step over it and be a team.  It's still there and we deal with that stuff every day, while remembering that life happens. 

Whatever it is/was about this book...call me 50 shades of embarassed (that I enjoyed it so much), and in my own way, 50 shades of messed up!

Last Night, I Cried

Last night, I cried..

for this beautiful woman and the voice that now sings with the angels in heaven

It started with hearing "Whitney died", in my post nap dozing. And, continued with lengthy news coverage. She was an icon of my late teens/early 20's love angst. I recall shedding many a tear hearing her love songs...and wondering if if would find the love she spoke of...and, to this day continue to bring chills to me when I hear her songs.

...for the idea (planted by someone else) that had begun taking root in my head. Only, to find out, that it was not to be, at this time.

...for the small answer to a question that I've begun to ask myself. And, in hearing the answer, to remember to not lose sight of the me that I am, in spite of what those answers point to.

...and for love of a man, who in his simple words of "I support you in all your decisions", made all the rest go away...and made me cry with tears of joy!

Bitten by the Bug

Ugh...I have been bitten by the stomach flu bug! After threatening to kick in for a week, it finally took hold on Sunday night. At first, I thought it was all the junk food I ate during the Superbowl, but when it persisted and did not subside, I soon realized this was more. I was up almost every hour going into Monday morning...at several points, I begged D to put me out of my misery! I have never been so sick, at least in recent memory. This morning, I woke up feeling ready to conquer the world...as I was getting ready, my fever kicked in again and felt like I was going to pass out. I should feel like that considering, I've lived on a scoop of rainbow sherbet, some broth and coke for the past 24 hours. When I decided to stay home (after being dressed), I sent a text to work. In return, I got the "you're in the doghouse and we'll be fine" response. As if I don't have enough sick leave guilt, as is...trust me, I would much rather be at work than home feeling like my insides were wrenched from my body and a semi has backed over me repeatedly! Note to self...when in a role of authority, don't treat your workers like this...sick is sick! And, next time, I'll take photos and video for proof!

So, I've been tagged by my friend, Amanda, so in order to lighten things up, here goes..

THE RULES:
1. You must post the rules
2. Post 11 fun facts about yourself.
3. Answer the questions that the tagger gave to you in their post and then create 11 NEW questions to ask to those you've tagged
4. Tag 11 people and link them on your post
5. Let them know that you've tagged them

FUN FACTS ABOUT ME:
1. I love to cook, but don't like baking...as much as I try, I just can't get into it!
2. I made a spice rub for coworkers at Christmas time and they are all nagging me for refills.
3. D started me on listening to the police scanner as a novelty...it's now like my white noise.
4. I am fascinated with crime, jail, courts, etc...I often think I should have gone into the justice field for a career.
5. I have a friend who I met my first day of preschool and we still keep in touch. As adults, we would get together with our moms once a month for lunch and called it the 4 Js Lunch.
6. I don't have many friends, but count those who I have as my close friends.
7. I have a high tolerance and threshold for people...it takes so much to make me lose it.
8. I like looking at Facebook and Twitter better on my iPad or iPhone much more than on my laptop.
9. I have a bucket list...it's not too long.
10. My unrealistic career fantasy is to be a soap opera actress....probably comes from my mom's love of them when I was a child and watching Patch and Kayla's wedding when I had the chicken pox..I still watch them occasionally.
11. I went to Catholic school for 12 years and had the fear instilled in me...as a result, I never did anything bad or got into trouble

11 QUESTIONS FOR ME:
1. What's your favorite movie quote? "Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky (the quote is the best thing about that movie!)
2. Last book read and would I recommend it? I am reading "Dreams of Joy" by Lisa See. It is the sequel to Shanghai Girls. It is a heavy book, but I still love it.
3. What's the first thing you do when you wake up? Usually hit the snooze button.
4. What's the last thing you do before you go to bed? Kiss and tell D that I love him and say my prayers
5. If you could spend one day with anyone in the world, who would it be? (Person must be living.) This is a hard one since I know my dead person (JFK)...but living is a challenge...probably Anderson Cooper, since he is entertaining, smart, handsome and could challenge me in our conversations.
6. Do you prefer to talk on the phone or text? Typically, I'd rather text...I find the phone awkward.
7. What's the last nice thing you did for yourself? I bought a daily deal for the Chi Enviro Straightening Treatment and had it done...I love it and has already made me feel pretty and confident.
8.What's your go to comfort food? This will sound weird, but top ramen with cheese makes me happy...the simplest thing, but so yummy!
9. What can you not leave the house without? My sunglasses...my eyes are light sensitive since I had LASIK, so even on a hazy day, I need my sunglasses
10. What's your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving...it is such a family holiday that is rich in tradition with my mom...plus we got married that weekend.
11. What is the most important quality you look for in a friend? Someone who will be there for me through the good and bad

11 QUESTIONS FOR YOU:
1. If you could choose your career again, what would you do?
2. What website are you addicted to?
3. If you could have one celebrity's body, who would it be?
4. If you could plan your last meal, what would you have?
5. If you could banish one person (famous) from this Earth, who would you like to never hear about again?
6. What is your greatest accomplishment in life?
7. What makes you smile?
8. What makes you cry?
9. What is your favorite book?
10. What is your theme song?
11. Do you have any friends you've lost touch with and wish you hadn't?

Since everyone has probably been tagged...this is for fun...enjoy!

When Life Kicks You in the Teeth

This week was strange and left me feeling like my work life had been kicking me in the teeth repeatedly. I wanted to tell the work world to fly a kite (and not in those delicate terms...much harsher words), but thanks to my good upbringing and work ethic, I didn't do it out loud (in my head, yes!). There are incidents all week that had me wondering if this was what 2012 professionally was going to do to me. Work is really beating me down...I'm extremely busy (frenetic) and learned some news on Friday that really knocked me down. I won't share specifics on what happened, but just know it really hurt. It's been something that has been mentioned and discussed for over a year, but still came as a hurtful moment. I'm now almost relieved that this has finally happened, but it doesn't make it any easier for me. I'm angry...I'm sad...I'm frustrated...I'm over it...I'm on an emotional roller coaster...I'm ready to make some changes...I'm kicking back...I'm taking control!

I have some exciting things on the horizon on the professional front that I hope to share soon. In the meantime, my blogging readers, can I ask a favor?!? A prayer, a thought or whatever you do for those in need of support...I would be most grateful! I am accepting and grateful for all the good vibes I can get now!

And, in return, I promise some lighter posts...including one about my experience with the Chi Enviro treatment (complete with better photos than my self portraits on Facebook), my favorite things, and lots of happy things!