- I started seeing a therapist. I'm not ashamed to admit that! I started seeing him every other week starting in late September. He has really changed my view on all that is and has happened to me. Through therapy, I've been able to see how my actions and past decisions and behaviors have impacted me. I've been such a helper and have a tendency to help others before I help myself. I've learned that is the behavior that starts the domino to so many other things. I have now adopted the mantra "I appreciate myself...I put myself first" Therapy and EMDR has helped me feel better...I am really starting to feel like me again and I like the changes it has brought! I have also learned that I have a serious case of distortion...what is said to me is not always what my brain processes!
- I went back to see Doctor B for an unrelated issue. At that appointment, we made the decision that the initial medication was not doing what it should. So, we made the difficult choice to put me on stronger medication. The downfall is that I can't get pregnant while on the medication and need to be on it 3-6 months to normalize my system. I was initially devastated at this, but have come to realize that if I'm not okay and can't take care of myself, then how can I take care of someone else! The medication works, just makes me sleepy and get some solid sleep!
- We will end this year with none (yes, none!) of the cars we started the year with...and we started with 3 cars! The first was totaled in my accident in February. The second (my car, the 4Runner) was totaled in a very freakish incident in October...in fact, the same day as my Doctor B appointment. D dropped me off at work and then called me saying he was outside my building and the car started to smoke inside and could not be driven. He called AAA and my mom to pick him up. Turns out, the ground wire for the power seat hit some other hot wire and fried our electric system! Insurance company decided to total it since it would have to be dismantled to be fixed. That check is sitting in the bank waiting for me to buy a car. Then, we made the decision that BMW (a prewedding impulse made by D) was getting pricey to maintain and own. Therefore, we traded it in for a car (Toyota FJ Cruiser) for D. While I don't love the 2 car payment concept, I'm happy to be free of the headaches that came along with the BMW!
- I finally drove stress free a few weeks ago...I drove to the bank and then home from Trader Joes. I was almost in tears over how proud of myself I felt for doing that. It was the first time I drove any distance since my last massive panic attack. I'm definitely getting closer and have started thinking about my next car. I really miss my independence and being able to go where I need to without having to ask.
- Chapter finished up for the semester...we had some bad times, but it was a really great semester! Some of the girls initiated at the same time I became Chapter Advisor are graduating this semester...I will miss them! I am excited for our new exec board and all that is to come. My next commitment is a trip to Indianapolis for training with two of the girls in January. We will get to tour headquarters while we are back there...so excited to see it, but not excited about the weather!
Life has been a challenge, but I've learned so much! Life is good in spite of all the challenges. I once heard that change is our opportunity to grow and without change, we would remain stagnant! I definitely have gone through changes and am growing like crazy!
