Back to Blogging!

Long time, no blogging. I've had so much happening in the last few weeks with lots of jumbled thoughts that I haven't had the drive to put it into writing. I also feel, sometimes, that my blog is about a whole lot of nothing...basically, things that no one wants to read except me. But, in keeping with the 2009 list, I'm back to blog.

• I didn't get the jay oh bee and am okay with it. Except for the look of disdain from the Nastys when I was commended for my drive and knowledge, I've gotten nothing, but positive encouraging responses from everyone around me. I am a firm believer in "right place right time" philosophy and am pretty sure there is a reason that this didn't work out.
• I reconnected with some friends from high school last week. We found each other on Facebook as we prepare for our 20 (yikes!) year reunion. We had so much fun catching up and even closed the restaurant. Some of us have changed and some of us are the same. It was fun to hear about our lives up to this point.
• I spent last weekend at home and did a whole bunch of nothing! D and I did some errands on Friday after work, but once I got home, I never left until Monday morning for work. I didn't even get mail or take trash out. I spent a lot of time with the couch and relaxing. I think after the week I'd had, I needed the serious veg time.
• I've been trying to focus on all the positives in my life, but still get sucked into the "what I don't have" complex. I understand the path idea, but sometimes it's hard for me to not be overwhelmed and depressed by things.
• I had a talk with the new boss D2. I saw her at a staff development day conference last week. She asked me how things were going and I laid it out to her. I hadn't intended doing it until she got here, but she asked and I couldn't waste the chance. She was in shock at some of the things I said...she said that things would be different from her last time at the District...she was coming back in a totally different capacity. She also told me that we were going to be working very close together and I would be her right hand. While talking to her, I really tried to assess if she was just telling me what I wanted to her or was honest. I really felt like she listened to me and it made her accountable coming into this situation. At the end of the conversation, I felt such a relief that I wanted to cry. Someone actually listened to me and is going to do something. Since then, I've talked to her each workday and she is in the office today...her official start date isn't until March 2.
• After the talk with D2, I am a little conflicted. I am still going to apply for her position (good starting place for me). I also feel (as of today) that staying in my current job will allow me to gain some additional knowledge and really do my job.
• I talked to soon to be retired boss last week...kind of our last debrief. He apologized ("My bad") for not getting me involved in certain things. I think that a lot of our office issues are his responsibility and his lack of action created this monster.
• I've been dragging myself to the gym even when I've been dog tired. It helps and makes me feel like all the excuses I make are lame. Last night, I wanted to switch it up and took a turbo kick boxing class. I felt totally uncoordinated for most of the class, but kicked butt in the workout. I've noticed my clothes being looser and my face not being as full.

I think this year has become the year of finding my inner voice and realizing that I am a pretty phenomenal person. It's also become a confidence boosting time for me...I really feel like I'm pulling myself through the negativity I've harbored for myself and making some real positive changes. Here to a continued path in 2009!