On a Path...

My dear, poor neglected blog...I am sorry to have abandoned you lately! There is lots swirling and spinning in my head and while I've had many an idea to blog, it's just been too much and too intense to spit out onto virtual paper. A bit of my thoughts include:

• The value I provide to those in my life...heavy thought, but it's that classic "Who am I? What am I doing here?" question. I know that I give so much of myself (sometimes, too much) to others, but at what value to them and at what cost to me? Over the last year, I've been trying to eliminate those friends who used more than they gave back for a REALLY long time. It's a hard emotional road for me to travel right now...
• D's job is taking its toll on so many parts of our life right now. First of all, it's taken a chunk out of his confidence. One of the things I fell in love with is D's kick-butt, no care confidence, but for some reason, this job is chipping away at it. I've come to expect for one week of the month he's tied up...early into work and late nights working at home to deal with month end close. However, it's become a more regular thing as he tries to work out issues and get work done. We're making some decisions and plans so that D can get his CPA (at the company expense) and take the next step in his career into a better environment.
• D and I have started to move forward with our goal of buying a home. We drove around last weekend and found one we love and is in our range. We are in the initial stages of figuring out where we are and where we need to be.
• Summer is going to be so busy...July is already shaping up to be a busy month for us. July also starts our "rollback" at work. As a result of the current budget situation, we are taking a salary rollback and a 5 calendar day rollback. For us 12-monthers, this means every Friday off in July (with the exception of the 31st). So, anyone with Fridays off, let me know...maybe we can do lunch or something!
• July is also my 20th (OMG) high school reunion! I've been hitting the gym and prepping for this. I'm really excited to see everyone and catch up. I was initially nervous about it, but thanks to Facebook and catching up with my friends whom I'd lost touch with, it's become something I'm looking forward to.

All in all, lots has been happening...I hope life is well for everyone else!

Conversations with the Hubs!

As I've said before, D and I both work in the same area and have taken to carpooling 3-4 times a week. I love this time together because we can talk about our days at work and what the rest of our time holds. During the carpool time, we listen to something called "War of the Roses". Basically, this is an opportunity for couples to find out who the significant other would send roses to and confront cheating. It is sometimes painful to hear because the recipient is not the one it should be. However, some of these bring out some good conversations for D and I.

This week, there was a married couple on...the wife always lets her husband handle their finances. For some reason, she logged on to their account and saw that her husband had several charges for an escort service. When they called to offer him free roses, his wife was not the recipient. Once confronted, he proceeded to share that he and his "boys" go to strip clubs and hire escorts. He had no problem with this behavior.

This opened a really good discussion between D and I about boundaries of acceptable behavior. He, like I, was incensed that this man saw nothing wrong with this behavior. It then spurred an off shoot topic about sharing with what happens during guy time. It is my opinion and view that I would rather know if the boys end up at a strip club (which never happens with the exception of bachelor parties) or some other place up front from D rather that hearing it later. Otherwise, it seems like shady things are happening that need to be hidden.

The bottom line of this whole post is that these conversations are what keep us interested and talking. We've never had a problem talking, but it made me feel good that something as mindless as this radio bit could inspire such provocative conversation.

Back to Work, Already?!?

Happy Tuesday! My first question is why can't 3 days of work go as fast as 3 days off?!? The weekend was good for me...it started off a little rough with a stomach bug Thursday night into Friday, but was good overall!

• Friday was a relaxing night at home. D and I have both been so overwhelmed with our jobs that the only thing we wanted to do was be on the couch and relax.
• Saturday morning, we got up to run some errands and have our free breakfast (thanks to a coupon) at Ikea. It turns out Ikea was having some sort of big sale on a chair and bookcase, so there was a huge line out front. The cafe was crowded, but we still were able to have breakfast for two for a whopping $4.33. Then after some more running around, we picked up Mom, Meema and Alicia and headed to Carlsbad for our Sister-in-law's 50th birthday party. We ate some good food and hung out for a while. Dropped the girls back home and then dropped D off for him to go to the Padres game. I was so excited for a me night on the couch eating things he doesn't like (tortellini alfredo) and catching up on the DVR. D came home early (around 8:15 ish) because he had done what he wanted and was cold. We spent the rest of the evening hanging out together.
• Sunday morning, the stress of everything made D a bear and he blew up. This is so odd because he is so calm and mellow and doesn't usually let things get to him. I decided that rather than get involved with his drama, I'd leave him be. We went to Mom's for a barbecue and went our separate ways, which is odd for us. Mom was nervous and worried because she'd never seen us this way plus everyone else was sensing the tension. After dinner, we finally came together. I was never mad at him, but was just giving him space to clear his mind. The evening ended at our friend's home. They have an adorable 3-legged Chihuahua named Rudolph. They treat him like a baby and by night's end, he was all snuggled into me and we were good friends.
• Monday morning, I woke up at normal time with a headache. I took some ibuprofen and fell back to sleep hoping it would go away. It subsided and we watched 3:10 to Yuma, which was a pretty good movie. The rest of the day was spent cleaning out things and trying to make home look better.

I'm hoping for a quieter week, but am not sure that will happen. The Boss is on vacation this week, so it's just us in the office to deal with things. After some small hiccups this morning, we're in coast mode. Hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend and have a great week!

Hanging in and Holding on!

So, it's been a while since I've posted. I think about posting a lot, but it's just been so crazy and overwhelming lately. I feel like I sit down at the end of the day and all my brain power has been lost. So much so, that I've stopped watching TV in the evenings because it takes too much out of me and the chatter has been annoying. Instead, I've been on a reading bender finishing two books within a week...I read Mercy by Jodi Picoult and Something Blue by Emily Giffin. Now, I'm getting ready to start The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb. I pulled some library shenanigans to make sure that I could read it...I'd seen it in Costco a while back and put it on my "Must Read List". I've loved Wally Lamb ever since I read She's Come Undone when it was an early Oprah's Book Club selection. And now, some updates on my life:

• Jay Oh Bee: It is the craziest it has ever been! We are in the full force of layoff actions and the impacts. This makes life very interesting because the normal work hasn't gone away. Boss is so great to work for and she keeps us all in the loop, which is a definite change from the last one. She has also provided me with lots of opportunities to attend trainings and work related meetings to increase my knowledge.
• D is also under lots of work stress. He has a new supervisor who will be good for him, but it's going to be a while until things normalize for him. (Trust me, it's not a good thing to have both partners stressed over their jobs.) He also started physical therapy twice a week for his knee. It seems to be progressing slowly and he is noticing less swelling.
• Busy Life: Every weekend in May has been really busy for us...last weekend, it was meeting up with some of my high school girlfriends for dinner, D's company picnic, and a going away party (that we couldn't find) and spending time with my mom. This weekend will be no exception to this! We have our sister-in law's 50th birthday party, Mom's barbecue on Sunday and nothing firm on Monday. I'm hoping to find some quiet here soon!

Well, I hope everyone is doing well...take care and have a great Memorial Day weekend!

Alive...Busy..>Doing Well!

Hello, my poor neglected blog! I am so sorry to have neglected you, but life is coming at me from all different angles lately. It's hard to sit down and verbalize what's happening. Especially for me, because I am one of those people that internalizes everything before I express my thoughts and feelings. The little mind has been racing in so many directions lately. Some of what is happening includes:

• Car trouble that cost us a lot of money...including us learning that D is not allowed to do anything sunroof related on our cars. I can laugh about all this now, but the whole thing cost me lots of tears.
• Spending a nice Easter with the family and friends at brunch.
• Working my behind off...the jay oh bee is very busy thanks to the horrendous budget situation in California. It's not a happy thing to be dealing with, but I'm VERY fortunate to be working with someone who keeps me involved in as much as she can.
• Speaking of the jay oh bee, we did some rearranging over Spring Break, so we all are in close proximity. There are moments of attitude and bitchiness, but it's starting to subside gradually.
• Mom and Meema are doing well...I still go see them once a week to spend some quality time catching up on things.
• D and I have been trying to spend more quality time together. We are together a lot after work, but we usually are doing our own thing rather than talking. So, we've been turning off the television and just talking. We've also been spending time at either Spanish Landing relaxing or Mission Bay reading and relaxing. We both realized that our lives are busy and a little overwhelming and we need to connect more.
• Ran into an employee at work on Monday who started asking me questions about my bio dad. It turns out she is dating a friend of my dad's. I guess they figured out I must be related because of my name. Since bio dad is deceased (and has been for almost 11 years), I didn't ask if she knew my dad because I really didn't care. It was one of those "Six Degrees of Separation" things. The weird part (or normal) is that it didn't bother me too much. Usually, matters of bio dad throw me into a small mental tailspin. I think I am definitely on the way to forgiveness and forgetting all that drama. It will always be a part of me, but I know that I'm lucky to have had another man (my stepdad) take the role of father that my bio dad could never really handle.
• D went back to the orthopedist on Friday...he fell off his dirt bike in March onto his left knee (not wearing knee pads...grrr!) and has a second degree tear of his PCL. It is the ligament behind his knee cap and it's not one they do surgery on. It's more of a "wait and see" injury. He got the clear to start physical therapy within the next week or so. Except for occasional pain and swelling, he is handling it well.
• Friday night, I gave into the Bunco pressure. Because there weren't enough people, we didn't play bunco. Instead, we played a game called Things. It was so much fun and I hadn't laughed like that in so long! It's definitely a must do again!
• We went to our first Lake Elsinore Storm baseball game yesterday. We had so much fun on the drive and just being there. It's a cool experience and I would recommend it to anyone who likes baseball.

This week promises more busyness...last Chapter tonight, dinner with some of D's friends from EC, meeting at CSUSM, hang out with Mom and Meema and lots of work. All in all, things are going well for me...hope all is well out there in blogworld!

Spring Break Updates!

Today is my last day of work this week...and I'm only working until 11:00! It's Spring Break and we get tomorrow off as a "holiday". It's been a good work week being casual and less formal. We did some major rearranging in the office this week...every piece of furniture in the office was moved and configurations were changed. The primary motivation for the move was my friend has been stationed (chained) at our front counter. Now, she sits in the same space as the Nastys and she will not be the only one dedicated to service at the front as it has been in the past. Next week should be very interesting...the dynamic has begun to shift and it will only change more being open for business.

This last week has been busy for us personally as well...we got our taxes back, but as usually happens, we had to spend a large (and I mean LARGE) chunk of change on the cars. One car was routine maintenance while the other was unexpected. Initially, I was really upset by this development and it's setback to our plans, but now, I've dealt with it and am ready to move on.

On the upside, Sunday was probably one of our best days in a long time. We've both been in some kind of funk lately...just one of those phases of life that happens every once in a while. Sunday started with meeting one of D's teacher from high school (so random, I know) for breakfast at our favorite, Beach Break Cafe. If you've never been, go! You will wait for a table on the weekends, but their food is so good and it is definitely worth the wait! After breakfast, we headed to Fan Fest at Petco Park. We had some things we wanted to accomplish and we got them all done! After leaving Petco Park, we had a late lunch with one of our friends at the Tilted Kilt. Because we had to pick up friends from the border after their Spring Break in Mexico, we decided to take advantage of the great weather. Instead of waiting at home, we took a blanket and laid on the grass at Spanish Landing/Harbor Island. The weather was amazing and we were treated to watching two cruise ships leave the port. It was definitely a relaxing way to spend some time. We definitely have plans to do this more...next time, we're thinking of doing a picnic. Then, we got the call that our friends had crossed the border, but instead of being in San Ysidro, they were at Otay Mesa. After trekking down, we were able to pass them off to their car and spend a quiet evening relaxing. It really was the most perfect Sunday!

I hope everyone is doing well...take care!

Time Flies...The Updates!

Where does time go?!? I swear this past week has been nuts with a capital N! At work, I've been so busy and transient that today is the first day in almost 2 weeks that I am in the office all day with no off site appointments or meetings. I really need that because last week wrecked me and I was very close to having a nervous breakdown as I drove home on Friday night. Some of the highs and lows of my life include:

• We're getting a refund from both the feds and the state. More for the savings towards the dream!
• As you may recall, we bought tires for our cars last month. Well, on one car, they have staggered (different size in the front than the back) tires and we replaced the front only. Last Monday, D had a blow out on the back tire, so now we have to buy two tires for that one. The upside is that we had warranty and only are paying for one tire, but it's still not what I want to do right now.
• Interviewed for a jay oh bee, but didn't make it to the next step. I am surprisingly okay with it...I think things here will be okay and that I have a lot to learn from my new boss. Plus, I'm loving the better working relationship with the boss and the additional responsibilities.
• Got to have dinner with two of my friends and a sleeping baby...I really needed "girl" time and felt so much better afterwards.
• Got to see D play softball on Thursday and hang out with him afterwards...this will have to be my fix for a while (see below).
• Spent the weekend at Mom's with her and our crazy friend from Tucson. Got dinner at family favorite Ruth's that ended with a drunk fall at our doorstep by the crazy friend.
• Got a Purple Heart good luck token from our crazy friend...he wanted D and I to have it to bring us good luck and fortune in our lives.
• Verbalized our (D & my) plans about our future...it felt good to say it and put it out there, so people don't think that we are aimless in our lives.
• Got "sick" from all the weather changes and took a "me" day on Monday to recover before it turned into so much more.
• D went riding on Saturday with a friend of ours...somehow, D got cut off on his bike and fell on his left knee. With lots of swelling, we spent some time on Sunday in urgent care. Then, after a follow up with an orthopedist on Monday, we found out he has a Grade II sprain of the PCL. Fortunately, it's not a surgery injury, but it will sideline him from softball or other strenuous activity (but not that ;) for 4 to 6 weeks. I was pretty upset by this whole thing (including crying while waiting in urgent care) and didn't yell, but pulled the "Your decisions (to not wear his knee pads which would have lessened the blow) don't just impact you anymore...you have to think of me" card. The upside is that it's not a horrible injury, but it's still scary.

I feel like I've been on a crazy roller coaster the last few weeks and am ready to hop off for some nice boring down time. Next week is Spring Break at work, so it will be catch up time. I hope everyone else is doing well...